My dsd is 22, I became her step mum when she was 4. I call her my dsd on mn and mostly in real life call her my daughter. Me and her dad broke up when she was 11 so legally she isn't either but since she was 4 I have been her main carer and basically the only person who has given a shit about her or done anything for her. I am the only one who has ever taken her the doctors, to the dentist, went to her parents evening or anything else that parents do for their children.
When we broke up her dad moved abroad and her mum said she didn't want me to see her but after two weeks dsd was having regular sleepovers with her 'friend' which meant with me, her mum obviously knew this or didn't care enough to check which eventually meant her staying with me 4/5 nights a week again. She has lived with me, my DH and our children full time since she was 14, we have had no help from either of her parents. She calls me mum, she tells people I'm her mum. She calls my husband her step dad and my younger bio children her siblings.
I'm not bitter or annoyed I had to do any of this and I don't want praise for doing it but I am annoyed with people constant rushing to tell me actually shes not my daughter or going behind my back to tell other people that shes not, being told by a friend that it is disrespectful this morning and that I need to stop.
So AIBU to think I have earned the right call her my daughter if I want or include her in the number of children I have if I want to?