To think that if you don't have a solid group of friends you've known since childhood then friendships are hard in adulthood?

[FeeseAndChickle]

Everyone I know seems to have a solid group of girlfriends that they've known since childhood or secondary school days. They all prioritise this group of friends over other friendships and any other friendships are therefore an afterthought and come second place.

We moved areas when I was 12 and I lost touch with childhood friends. We didn't move to the friendliest area and I struggled to make friends at secondary school. I did make one friend in the end but she was, looking back, a frenemy.

I do have friends now but I know them all separately and as I mentioned they all prioritise their main group of friends over their friendship with me. I also feel that those who have that good base group of friends have others that are desperate to be friends with them too, whilst if you are like me then no one particularly is bothered about being 'in' with you.

I think that you are right OP, although as someone said earlier it could be a London thing. Although our parents could afford to buy in certain areas zonks ago, it did not mean that we could continue the ease of friendship based on locality, and so very few of my secondary school friends live in the same area. That said, my closest 4friends from secondary school are still friends with one another, but I think that it is to do with money and social circles. I was privately educated and I think that uni and thereafter made friends choose friends to fit a certain lifestyle, and that cut me out. Since then I've made friends but admittedly I've not told them that as it hasn't gone down well in the past.
Friends from work were kind of moan shoulder buddies and so our relationships have fizzled out. I seem like a confident person but it's all learned behaviour, I find it excruciatingly painful being new and explaining my background. I was bullied at church too when I was a teenager, and I was made to feel like a waste of a PhD by my recent pastor's wife and so I'm reserved towards church buddies. I feel like now that I haven't got the energy to keep trying with everyone, so I'll nurture the relationships that are there (via BBQs and teas etc) and just concentrate on other things.
Also I've found that time is always so short around the DC that conversations at the school gate etc are just punctuated by children trying to get our attention so I don't put any value on those moments.

It depends very much on your personality. I suspect extroverts find it much easier to make friends than introverts because they put themselves out there and give themselves more opportunities to meet new people. My sister makes new friends all the time whereas I takes me years to build friendships because I’m more reserved.

No. I don't agree at all. I left school 25 years ago, married a soldier and moved to Germany from UK. Didn't keep in contact with any school or college friends. I have plenty of brilliant friends all over this country and in Germany still. Army wives are the absolute best friends to have. School was shit!

It is a pretty depressing thing to think if you don't have friends in school you will never have a close friend as an adult.

My dm used to go on and on about me making friends in secondary school about how I would never have any friends.

Maybe she was right although it was her actions that led to this.