to wonder if i will always be fat

[bluebird14]

I was a normal sized child and then gained weight around nine/ten

been fat ever since!

sometimes I lose a bit of weight but I've been morbidly obese for three years now and I just can't seem to lose it (tried loads of different things - they all work for a bit then I gain weight again.)

I just can't seem to stop eating.

As we know, 95% of people regain the weight they lose. This is a really interesting article about contestants from the biggest loser regaining the weight.

mobile.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html

*Researchers knew that just about anyone who deliberately loses weight — even if they start at a normal weight or even underweight — will have a slower metabolism when the diet ends. So they were not surprised to see that “The Biggest Loser” contestants had slow metabolisms when the show ended.

What shocked the researchers was what happened next: As the years went by and the numbers on the scale climbed, the contestants’ metabolisms did not recover. They became even slower, and the pounds kept piling on. It was as if their bodies were intensifying their effort to pull the contestants back to their original weight.*

This rings true for me. I'm still a bit overweight after having my second child 6 months ago. I'll lose it again but I know that for me maintaining a healthy weight involves continuous, conscious effort. It means never feeling satisfied and putting weight on if I take my eye off the ball for even a few days. If for example I give myself a week off on holiday and eat to satisfy my appetite, that'll be 7lbs I have to fight to lose over a few months when I get back. People who do not struggle to maintain a healthy weight will never understand. Even after years at a

healthy weight I am hungry all the time, it's like my body wants to be fat. Not overeating is like tensing a muscle, I can do it but I have to concentrate. It's hard.