To not want to rearrange our wedding for DSD?

[CurryAndWineMakesAPerfectNight]

We've had our wedding booked for August for a while and paid deposits etc. It's the only time we can guarantee DP will be off work and also because DSD is guaranteed to be off school (she's 6).

However, DSD's Mum has now said DSD can't come as she's booked a holiday to Butlins and will be away over the date of our wedding.

AIBU to 1) this is ridiculous (surely her Dad's wedding takes priority?)
And 2) to not want to rearrange our wedding?

Yanbu. Rearrange it and DSD will suddenly be busy for that day too.

YANBU! Did she know the date of your wedding when she booked Butlins?

Refuse. And let DH2B deal with it.

Was the ex notified of date of wedding and that dsd would be expected to attend before she booked the holiday?

Sounds like a bitter ex!

How does your husband feel about it? Does he want to rearrange it so his daughter is there?
Does DSD want to go to the wedding?

Don't rearrange the wedding as it sounds like the ex did it on purpose.

Surely she knew well in advance about the wedding so why on earth did she boook butlins? Of course the fathers wedding should take priority

No don’t re arrange as the mum will just do the same again

What a spiteful bitter person she must be!

Hope this is not my friend, her ex is getting married in the summer. Her DD is so distraught at the feeling of going that my friend is playing the baddie by booking a holiday as the wedding is in her scheduled time with child. It’s not Butlins though.

Aah you failed to get her permission to let her daughter attend her ex's wedding silly you. There are no winners here sadly and on mn it will be your fault by the end of the page.

How far away is the holiday from the wedding venue?

If it's a genuine clash, and the distance is doable, you could say that you will "borrow" DSD from the holiday for a day or two for the wedding.

If it's a contrived clash by the ex, you could offer this as a solution - she won't be able to refuse without looking bad.

Is there anything set in terms of who has contact when?

Of course YANBU OP. What is your DP saying about it?

What does DP say?

Don't rearrange - the cow will only rebook the holiday. She doesn't want DSD there. Explain to DSD exactly where the blame belongs.

You left out the vital piece of information which was "did ex and DD know date of wedding BEFORE Butlins was booked?"

I have four words: What a spiteful bitch!

Is your DP asking you to rearrange? I think it depends on whether you involved his ex in the discussions and checked the date would be suitable before booking.
If you assumed DSD would be available for all of Aug not knowing when his ex was able to take book her summer holidays (eg because of work commitments) then I would rearrange. If his ex agreed to the date and then changed it, I'd assume she would do that again no matter when you booked.

They will be 'busy' whatever day your wedding falls on, and this is very bad behaviour.
Don't rearrange your wedding, let dp sort this out and prepare for DSD not to make your wedding and make sure your DSD knows she is invited and loved by both of you.

I would detach a little from this situation because what is playing out now started a long time ago, and has nothing to do with you. Your wedding will be lovely and don't let anything spoil it.

We need more info.
When did you let ex know the date of the wedding?
When was the holiday booked?
Does DSD want to go?
How long have DSDs parents been split up? How long have you two been together (might throw light into how DSD feels about the situation)
Who's contact time is it in?

Well, YANBU to re-arrange the wedding.

More info needed tho before we start calling the Mum a spiteful bitch.

If she didn't know the date of the wedding, or the kid doesn't want to go, or she has 99% custody and the Dad only turns up when it suits him, then she's done nothing wrong in getting on with her own life.

*YANBU to NOT rearrange.

Why have you got two idebtical threads running?

Why the assumption by pp that ex knew wedding date before booking her holiday? Such vitriol aimed at ex when it could just have easily been a coincidence or that she feels it not in best interest of her child to attend.

Don’t rearrange your wedding. It’s very sad that some exes are so bitter that they can’t put their children first.