AIBU to expect to come home after a week away to a clean house?!

[Letmesuckyourblood]

I've been away for 9 days with my 2 kids visiting family (they live over 100 miles away so don't see them that often).

My DP came and picked us up yesterday and we got back pretty late. Pretty much got takeaway, put DD to bed then DP went to bed while I struggled till 1:30am to get my DD to sleep after his bottle.

So I've woke up this morning and the kitchen is a right state!!! I'm absolutely fuming!! There's a full side of washing up to do. He's literally just washed the plates that he's needed to eat off.

So I've had to do the washing up first thing just so the kids have bowls for their breakfast!!

Then I've gone into the cupboard to get the cereal and it was disgusting!!!!! Mouldy peppers and apples in there that he's not bothered to throw in the bin!!!!!

Not to mention the bathroom hasn't been cleaned, he's not pulled the sofa out to hoover behind and underneath! And there's no shopping been done so fuck all in to eat!!!

I'm beyond furious!!!!!

Surely I'm not being unreasonable to expect the house tidy and clean to come back to when he's been here all week. Fair enough he works but only 8-3 Monday-Thursday and 8-12 Friday (sometimes 12 finishes as well if it's dead). And I've had both the kids with me!!!

I don't really understand, your issue is simply he hadn't washed the dishes, thrown some old food out and not pulled the sofa out to hoover underneath.

I'm sorry I don't think it's that big of a deal. Were the dishes from last night?

YANBU I work away frequently and established to DH I would not be coming home to clean mess I want there to create, if he wasn't there the house would be the same as I left it. The kitchen and washing up should be done, the mouldy food thrown, bathroom clean, generally clean and tidy, the hoovering under the sofa I could excuse if he'd hoovered everywhere else. Has he done his own laundry or left it for you when you got back needing to do a week's worth having been away?

I'd be annoyed too! He only had himself to look after so should've been able to wash up!! (I can't remember the last time I pulled the sofa out so I'd forgive that one!!)

I'd be fuming too. Its certainly not unreasonable to expect your partner to keep the house in order.

Why should basic house maintenance only be done when op is home bluntness A grown man is capable of binning old mould and doing some dishes, it's not strictly the domain of a woman is it.

YANBU. He deserves a bollocking.

You're not wrong about the washing up and the mouldy food, but surely pulling the sofa out to hoover underneath is a spring cleaning job not a weekly essential? Or am I just living in a pit of filth?

I doubt I would have even noticed the sofa. It the rest of it YANBU he should have dealt with it.

Bluntness no the dishes were not from last night. They were there from the morning before I left! I don't expect to come home and have to clean up after his dishes, his shaved hair and crap all over the bath and sink etc.

The sofa has needed pulling out for weeks now. He promised he'd do it when me and the kids were away as it's best to do it when they're not there.
There's toys and all sorts behind and under the sofa from my DD throwing them behind there.

Also there was his washing to do but that I don't mind so much as we don't have one atm (new house) so he just took it to his mums when we got home last night.

The sofa I probably wouldn't notice or care about, but the rest I would not be happy about. He's been home alone for a week - no kids to distract him or take up his time, and he can't even be bothered to wash the dishes and throw mouldy food in the bin? That's not only lazy, it's grim and unhygienic.

Wow no yanbu at all, I would be livid.

Yanbu, I hope he is going to clear it up OP, please don’t do it.

Depends on how many hours he worked and if he was away for work.

YANBU
He basically did nothing until you cam back with the assumption you would be doing all the cleaning.
And he was right, you have.

You might be grumpy tonight and have a go at him but I suspect that it will have been worth it in his eyes. Or that you are unrsnnable because he has done because he has no idea of how much work is involved and nor does he want to know.

The sofa is actually quite telling. Cleaning is clearly NOT his responsibility n his mind. So he told you he would but properly never even though about it because it’s not part of ‘what he does in the house’ (plus he might well have seen that as an unreasonable asking from you - why him and not you etc etc)

strawhatted if you are living in a pit of filth then so am I!

YANBU about the washing up. If he's been there alone and not working long hours there's no excuse for that. I'm not sure about the sofa (I never pull mine out - I don't think I could physically lift it - surely there's can't be that much mess underneath a sofa in a childless week?)

Blue rtft!!
Her DH stops work at 3.00pm 4 days a week and at 12.00pm on the Friday. He had plenty of time to clean.

But even if he was working crazy hours, how do you think single people manage to live wo any skivvy to do it all for them? Somehow, even with a demanding job, they manage to clean the kitchen and the bathroom.

If the DH had been away for work, the house would have stayed as cleaned as the OP left it. Not in that state!!

Letme does he EVER help in the house, wash the dishes or clean the bathroom??

Yanbu what a lazy fuck!

I really doubt anyone would be cool with coming home to mouldy food, no shopping done and no clean plates

He clearly thinks housework is your job.

Yanbu OP. Washing his own plates up is basic cleaning. The sofa he said he would do. His working hours aren’t strenuous so he had plenty of time.

The sofa thing wouldn’t bother me ( I rarely move mine!) but the washing up and mouldy fruit is gross. Also the no food in- he could have picked bread, milk, juice, cheese and eggs from a corner shop surely- even if you’re not close to a supermarket. It would make me feel he wasn’t pleased to see me and the dc.

Bluejava This week he's worked 31 hours. He works round the corner from the house so no travelling time either.

Tambien Your so right! He knows I'll come in and do it all because I can't stand it! I've told him I'm leaving the bathroom to him tho so he better do it when he gets home from work before I need to bath the kids. The washing up I'll have to do as need the pots etc for making dinner and tea.

Not particularly relevant; but how did you discover that he hadn’t pulled the sofa out to hoover behind it?! Before 9 o’clock in the morning...

I have just had the same experience. Got home to a dirty draining board ( which Is my pet hate) sticky kitchen benches, mouldy bread and dc's seedlings on kitchen window sill had withered and died due to lack of water.
He had said he would cut the grass but waited until the last day and oh no guess what it rained so he couldn't do it.
He hasn't even had the excuse he was at work as he was off too whilst I was away with dc, stressing every day at their constant bickering and arguing.
It has made me so annoyed on my return. I shouldn't have to write a list of jobs for a grown man.

What a lazy shit.