AIBU to expect to come home after a week away to a clean house?!

[Letmesuckyourblood]

I've been away for 9 days with my 2 kids visiting family (they live over 100 miles away so don't see them that often).

My DP came and picked us up yesterday and we got back pretty late. Pretty much got takeaway, put DD to bed then DP went to bed while I struggled till 1:30am to get my DD to sleep after his bottle.

So I've woke up this morning and the kitchen is a right state!!! I'm absolutely fuming!! There's a full side of washing up to do. He's literally just washed the plates that he's needed to eat off.

So I've had to do the washing up first thing just so the kids have bowls for their breakfast!!

Then I've gone into the cupboard to get the cereal and it was disgusting!!!!! Mouldy peppers and apples in there that he's not bothered to throw in the bin!!!!!

Not to mention the bathroom hasn't been cleaned, he's not pulled the sofa out to hoover behind and underneath! And there's no shopping been done so fuck all in to eat!!!

I'm beyond furious!!!!!

Surely I'm not being unreasonable to expect the house tidy and clean to come back to when he's been here all week. Fair enough he works but only 8-3 Monday-Thursday and 8-12 Friday (sometimes 12 finishes as well if it's dead). And I've had both the kids with me!!!

Fgs. Men are quite capable of keeping a house tidy and clean. You are not being at all unreasonable, OP.

No one should make excuses for this sort of behaviour.

Bluelady There was literally a bowl and spoon there from my DD having breakfast before we left. I didn't leave a mountain of washing up. I only realised it was left when we were about to leave and the car was already all packed up and the kids were in there car seats wanting to go.

Bluelady Also the sofa can only be done when the kids aren't in the house as it's a nightmare to do with them there.

Why does he have crisps and chocolate wrappers by the bed??

I work full time. So does my husband.
I eat dinner and make a mess. So does my husband.
I have four children, so does my husband.
I have clothes that need washing, rubbish to clear, bathrooms that I wash in etc. So does my husband.

If he suddenly decided to opt out of cleaning and tidying while continuing to benefit from all of the above id be opting out my marriage.

I can’t abide by being treated like a scivvy on the basis of being female and I think it’s so important to suss out someone’s living standards before living or having children with them.

If their mum did everything for them, their dad did nothing and that continued into adulthood then run for the hills!

YANBU
I'd feel the same if I went away and came back to a shit tip, I'm living with my parents whilst I wait for my property to be ready and wouldn't dream of leaving the house in a worse state!

Kinky I'm assuming he took a drink and snacks to bed with him last night while I was sorting out our DS.

Teasndtoast His mum and dad bo everything equal. He's a bit spoilt tbh, he's had everything done for him when he lived at home! He doesn't even know when a pizza is cooked properly