To think bringing kids up on no money would be misersble

[Strawberryblues]

I earn 35000 or thereabouts. Its not terrible. It means I only get cb.

After bills not much left.

How do people do it?

No money?
who has No money?

It all depends on where you live, what your outgoings are, how many children, etc.

In the SE housing costs are really high, my rent is £1000 a month for a very small 3 bed terrace house. My commute to work means my petrol costs me £200 a week. So although I earn a good salary, there's not much left by the end of the month.

I dont think my kids were miserable.
There are free activities

PrincessHairyMclary. Good for you but I genuinely can't see how you can manage comfortably as you say, plus save 10% on £17000 a year.

Well if you didn't have any child care costs and were spending 10-20,000 pounds a year less than most people a year on housing it would be quite easy.

That could easily be an extra 30,000 a year some people would need to make for the same life style.

depends on housing and childcare costs. if have a tiny mortgage at 250 say and no childcare costs, living on a low salary is very doable.

You can't buy happiness.
richest folk in the world are not necessarily happier.

We are pretty poor and will be until dd2 starts nursery in September 2019.

It can be worrying but I wouldn't say it's miserable.
Were super thrifty and almost all our stuff is second hand, plus we're lucky enough to live by the beach and enjoy the outdoors.

We don't watch TV, eat out or go on holiday but we've never missed a payment for anything and manage to put away a little each month to cover birthdays, Xmas etc, so we don't have to worry about it.

I think this is quite individual and plays on your priorities/ emotions/ lifestyle. A close friend decided to sah with her children. She said after we’ve paid for everything we have about £300 a month left so it’s tight but... worth it. I have remembered it for YEARS because I couldn’t manage ever on £300 a month. I would have constant anxiety about things going wrong, job loss, recession, needing to move house, not being able to afford children’s clothes, ending up in unaffordable debt. She would never really think like that, and to her it was fine.

We both work and earn quite well. It does take up time which means we don’t have the time to shop around, manage everything to the last pound, and we massively value our holidays as family time. It gives us freedom and security which to us, is essential and we won’t compramise on it. Things might change but for now it’s the way it is.

I don’t care if you can technically bring up your children with £300 a month spare. It’s a non option here

I don't know either. We have 2 in nursery at £45 a day each. The childcare costs are higher than the mortgage payments.

Are you a single parent or is £35k a joint household income?

I had a skint childhood. It was bloody miserable!

Shoes that were from cheap shops that were rock hard and hurt my feet. Second hand clothing, we could never pick and outfit we liked.

No money to go anywhere. Most activites cost money. No money to get the bus, we had to walk for miles.

Could never have dinner in a cafe or anything.

Growing up skint is depressing

OP, people take these kinds of threads weirdly and personally.

If you started a new one stating income and outgoings and asked for tips, you'd probably get more advice.

Personally I grew up poor and it was miserable in a lot of ways. Not all awful but I think it must have added to the tension in our already dysfunctional household.

It's not as simple as wealth=happiness but I think it bloody helps.

I think people forget as well, £1600 a month cash is around £2100 out of the £35k a year ie £25k out of £35k. Leaving around £600 per month cash to pay for housing, food, clothing and utilities.

You can only spend approx 70% of that salary and if you have a pension contribution potentially even less.

I was on about £19k a year with help, it wasn't a barrel of laughs but it wasn't miserable. You sort of get used to what you have & work with it. Now i'm with DP who works full time we have a huge income in comparison, even with me on mat allowance...but it hasn't changed much. I still do all the little budgety things i used to do, just means that now we have money to put into savings every month.

I earn 11500 a year in a term time only job. With tax credits I get about 20000 a year my rent is and council tax wipe out my monthly wage and I don't get housing benefit. I have three children and have to say it's not fun. I was in a better job before my ex left earning about 20k a year while he wasn't 15 but I could no longer do night shifts. There is no way I would choose to have dc in this situation but here I am.

I brought my kids up on a low income and there was nothing miserable about it, apart from a couple of times when I had no reliable income (relationship problems, benefit delays, etc). Financial insecurity, to the point of having to use food banks or having bailiffs chasing you is miserable, scary and stressful, but if you have a reliable income and some savings it shouldn't get that far.
It comes down to careful budgeting and managing your expectations. Children do not need loads of money spent on them. They do need decent food, a clean safe home, adequate clothing, etc. Most of their educational and health needs are met through the state in the UK.
As someone who has gone through it, I didn't spend money on things like hairdressers, makeup and beauty treatments, takeaways, expensive birthday parties, contract phones. My kids enjoyed things like trips to the park and the beach, taking books out from the library and reading them together, playing board games and later on playing family games on the Wii, paddling pool in the garden, the odd trip to the cinema, pizza hut or swimming, watching DVD's, drawing and painting (poundland sells this stuff for free), just simple basic family things.

Surely it all depends on where you live, cost of housing, childcare etc. We survive on an income of around £1500 a month. We probably have around 300 left after bills and food. We save half of this and use the rest. I don't think my dd is miserable. We don't go out loads or get takeaways much but we go to to the beach, for walks etc she has toys to play with, she is well fed and clothed. £35k would feel like loads to us.

I think my problem is the contracts I'm stuck in until next year. Like my expensive phone that I took out not realising I would be single before it was up. So hopefully next year things will be easier. I also live in Surrey where everything seems expensive.

17k with a child and maintenance paid from the NRP could quite easily be the aay take home as someone on 35k who pays into a pension. ie ( about 2k a month)

I'm guessing most of the posters have missed the OP's comment of £1600 each month going on nursery fees.

£17k you get topped up to £22k ish with WTC don’t you?

Unless you have twins the key is not to have two in Nursery at once, or at least not till the older is 3 and gets hours.
Also if two parents, stagger hours or days to reduce Nursery.

Well too late for that. I agree though, we waited on a far bigger salary than OPs.

Ok OP I have just ran your figures through the entitled to calculator.

I'm guessing most of the posters have missed the OP's comment of £1600 each month going on nursery fees.

Yes that’s the major cost that and housing.
Once her kids in school it will get easier but it can be a tough few years.

People who have family help for care and no housing costs are able to donit as they don’t have these two major salary blows.

I will only have one child due to this reason as the childcare is just too much.