To think bringing kids up on no money would be misersble

[Strawberryblues]

I earn 35000 or thereabouts. Its not terrible. It means I only get cb.

After bills not much left.

How do people do it?

Depends what your bills are. Do you have a large mortgage, private education fees? Do you live in the South? Things like this will affect the situation hugely. Otherwise we live comfortably on less than half of that, by spending selectively. We don't eat out except for special occasions, we have takeaways infrequently, we run an old car. I do sometimes say we can't afford things to the children, and I think that's important as to not do that potentially creates the situation now where young people expect to have an iphone and a gym contract and a flash car and wonder why they can't afford to move out of home...

Sorry cross posted Princess and sorry to pick apart your income!

As corny as it sounds, kids don’t need fancy “stuff”. Unless you’re going to send your kids to private school, you will find a lot of their classmates come from homes with much smaller incomes. Most of the things my kids enjoyed were free (or very low cost) trips to the park, playing board games together, baking cakes, picnics etc. I never had much money spare when they were little, but they’re adults now and don’t feel they missed out. They also both did well at school, went to uni etc so educationally they did fine. I made sure they always had decent food and clothing and they got toys at Christmas and birthdays. They were probably about average in their peer group for household income.

What elderflower said, spot on.
And boxsets! How rude. My dh and I brought our children up ‘in poverty’ (according to government figures) and they aren’t miserable in the least. Both now at university and very useful members of the human race.

I'm sure it's pretty bloody miserable bringing up DC on very little money. My eldest DD is 6 and has friends who have never been swimming, to soft play or on holiday. The school holidays are fantastic for us - we don't spend very much but there's always money in the pot for an ice cream at the park or a trip to McDonald's. Other people at school might be struggling to feed 2, 3, 4 extra mouths at lunchtime vs free school meals. It must be constant, grinding, daily hard work. And most of us are only a few months of unemployment or a "life changing injuries" type car accident away from it.

So genuinely with nursery costs of over a thousand pounds how do people manage?

I must be really bad at budgeting.

I have a household income of £21k including tax credits/child benefit (one adult and 3 children) It's not ways a bed of roses but it's far from miserable! My kids are probably less materialistic than many, and we do go to a lot of places which are free, but we get by just fine.

Boxsets I was married and comfortable when I had my child then a little thing called divorce happened. Marriage breakdowns are things nobody can predict.

Okay so how do people afford childcare costs?

OP tbh I'm with you. I earn around £55k a year. I would struggle to afford a child on my own. Bills are £1200 (ish) and FT nursery is just over £1000. That leaves very little after tax. I have a company car too so no direct expense there.
Anyone who thinks this is a stealth brag is wrong, just laying out the facts.

It's one of those things though like everything else that's all relative. If I lived in the south and had childcare costs then I would struggle a lot. It's all about personal circumstances.

Have you costed up childminders op? They work out much cheaper where I live although I understand some people's reluctance to use one. We were very lucky and have one chosen on a trusted recommendation.

Any free hours on the horizon?

I did find there was a 'tipping' point between paying childcare hours and hours worked + commute that made a small profit on income. Again that depends on so much else not least the flexibility of your employer. But then I have a partner to share the worry.

It's worrying hearing about universal credit etc but it's worth running a few different calculations.

It is miserable a lot of the time but not always. It is very hard and tiring.

Dolly Partons 'Coat of Many Colours' springs to mind.

Mine are in school, so go to breakfast and after school club. Someone on my income could claim working tax credits for help with nursery/childminder fees. You can also get childcare vouchers tax free.

I find "miserable" a bit offensive though. My children's lives are far from miserable!

These threads are tedious. £35k is not poverty line.

It's about 2k a month.

Nursery about 1600, mortgage 400.

So yeah, I don't know how to live.

Where are you that nursery is £1600? My nearest nursery would be under £1000 for 5 days per week.

You'd probably financially be better off working part time, less childcare and tax plus more benefits?

Tax Year 2016 - 2017, I brought my two children up on less than £5K for all 3 of us (benefit delays, p/t work with more benefit delays, food banks, you get the idea).

Yes, it was fucking miserable.

We have a household income of just under £30k, plus child benefit, no tax credits etc.
We run a car, go on holiday (mostly UK), two dc have extra curricular activities.
We have family help with childcare though, I work part time and get 30 hours for one of them so childcare costs are only about £200 a month.
Full time childminding here would be about £800 a month.

www.babycentre.co.uk/a541456/au-pairs

If childcare fees seem too much you could consider getting an aupair where it would be £70 for 25 hours a week or £85 for 30 hours a week, and they help with light chores too

Yes is that nursery cost estimated?

You'd get £53 per week child tax credits and £20.70 per week child benefit.

Often involving a precarious system of loans, credit cards, overdraft, borrowing from family and friends, sometimes getting stuck in the payday loan cycle. Using food banks, doing illegal stuff to make a bit extra like drug dealing (even minor stuff like selling your painkiller prescription you no longer need to someone), sex work, cash in hand work. Working multiple jobs at once

That's is very offensive.

I've brought up three children on my own on a minimum wage job paid term time only (top ups from tax credits) and I have never once had to break the law, sell a prescription, or got stuck in the loan cycle. I don't buy on finance, have an overdraft or credit card.

People on low wages - often single parents not by choice - do manage by an incredible amount of careful planning and budgeting NOT by breaking the law.