To think this doesn't help women to be taken seriously in the workplace?

[Tryingtochangeitall]

I attended a conference last week where there were a number of speakers.

The only woman as part of her speech referenced her important roles outside of work as a wife and mother

None of the men said anything remotely similar.

I didn't need to know that. It doesn't make her better at her job and I just found someone successful and clearly good at their day job referring to themselves as a wife rather demeaning. It would have been slightly better had she perhaps referenced a supportive husband and family, albeit still irrelevant.

I feel it plays up to the idea that women aren't as work focused and professional as men.

Thinking more, it is quite clear that some groups in society have this "one fucks up it means they're all awful" approach versus others that seem inordinately protected - when anyone fucks up it's seen as "one bad apple" even if there are loads all making the same mistakes / doing the same behaviour.

Nurses and social workers.

On SW fucks up and the entire profession is slated (and abused).

One nurse fucks up and it’s just the odd one amongst a sea of angels.

Personally I don't find it inspiring to hear that someone is a parent and married AND they work. And, I'm going out on a limb here, what I think is truly inspiring is that women work consistently regardless of what's happening in their ever changing bodies.

If you are childless not by choice it can be a pain in the backside when work colleagues keep banging on about their children in work context - conferences, courses and such. It’s the one place I feel I ought to b3 able to avoid baby/child talk.

I agree.

I am very glad that Sardines returned because she talks sense

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam - yes I saw your post saying one woman representing all is terrible. I was trying to make a joke but it obviously didn't land very well!

AskAuntLydia - thank you!

Completely agree with you, OP

I think the problem is, the vast majority of women do have some kind of caring responsibility outside of work, more so than their male colleagues. To deny this would just be deneying reality for most women. She was just trying to inspire other womnen that it doesn’t have to hold you back in your career.

It's men who are wrong for not talking about their life outside work in a speech, if it is relevant.

The macho male work model is not the default, correct one which we all have to work to. Or it shouldn't be, but plenty of people seem to want to perpetuate it.

Oh I see, I thought you’d taken offence at my compliment about alluding 😂 no worries Sardine!

Read ‘a good time to be a girl’. I’m a big believer in ‘don’t lean in, change the system’. We don’t need to ‘lean in’ anymore and conform to the male structures of business and success. Maybe everyone would benefit from being more open about the whole picture- family/children/mental health whatever. Women can lead that change by example

The blokes in my office mention their kids as often as the gals do. We have an especially proud grandpa. Two of the 60+yo blokes talk a huge amount about elderly mum/MIL who needs care. Comes down to personality, the very chatty blokes can't stop talking about everything, including their family.

I can't imagine anything worse than everyone chit chatting about their families. I'd find that irritating rather than inspiring. I currently waste at least an hour a week with male colleague wittering on about his DD, which would be far better spent on working.

The conference wasn't about how to combine work and family. It was business performance and growth. The male speakers before (and after) didn't feel the need to show photos of their family or say how proud they were of being married and having kids.

What do you talk about at work that is so riveting, OP? People tend to talk about what is important to them and you may or may not find that interesting. Some of your colleagues no doubt find you boring.

YANBU. There is nothing more irritating than people banging on about their partners and children at work meetings. No one gives a fuck. Obviously different in general conversation with colleagues, but in formal meetings it drives me around the bend.

I think anyone in the workplace who bangs on ad nauseam about their child(ren) like my male colleague is also unprofessional.

And do you think he reflects badly on all men in the workplace?

Totally agree. It's irrelevant and a man wouldn't mention it.

Interesting in my experience successful men are always blathering on about their kids in situations like that to make them seem more human whereas women don't bother. So maybe she had expected the men to mention it.

I feel sorry for the speaker here. You're expecting her to make the sort of speech you want to hear rather that the speech she wanted to give. Just because speaker was the only female, its not fair to put that pressure on her. Women judging women again.

I don't tend to chat for hours at work. I am happy to exchange a few pleasantries, join in with a 2 min discussion about my weekend, the weather, etc but I have no need to go on at length and in detail about my kids or personal life.

And as to male colleague I do think he reflect badly on men. He is one of very few men in our office possibly the only one who does the school run but he is a terrible advert for this, late most mornings, always working from home (which should be by exception) and banging on about his life all the sodding time. He is a complete tit, very unprofessional and reflects badly on other parents both male and female.

presumably it was a professional conference, she should have focussed on the professional matter at hand
the time to say 'look, I'm succesful professionaly and I also have a family' is at a 'women and business' conference, or perhaps when you go back to talk to the 6th form at your old school

He is a complete tit, very unprofessional and reflects badly on other parents both male and female.

Yet the woman speaker only reflected badly on women? Not parents in general? Interesting.

Thankfully the fool I work with is unlikely ever to be in a position to speak at a conference of this type. If he did and was the only man there he would reflect badly on other men. Certainly those with families. The reality is though that it's very unusual for there to be only 1 male speaker whereas having 1 woman speaker at events like this is (sadly) commonplace.

If a speaker (of any gender) started droning on about their kids/hobbies/holidays/underwear instead of the topic people had come to hear them speak about, I'd be a bit 'wtf' too.

(Admittedly I only go to boring conferences and usually can't wait for them to end. )

This isn't really about gender. Its about a speaker who padded it out with irrelevant info.

Agree completely OP, but for different reasons.
This woman only speaks for herself.
When women say this kind of thing it can sound like 'I am validating myself as a real woman and I am superior because I'm a parent' (remember the vile Andrea Leadsom?)
People are parents, people aren't parents, that doesn't make them worth any more or any less.