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Original poster

My neighbour is having sex in his car outside my house

96 replies

Jonsey79 · 31/05/2018 23:38

I was having a lovely, early night and was fast asleep until about 15 minutes ago when I was awoken by a car engine idling away right outside. It's my neighbour.

The parents are away and the 17 year old son is being dropped off by his girlfriend, except they are having sex in the car.

I've got the windows open because it's warm and I can't very well shut them now because they'll see me.

Effing engine is idling away, which is what woke me and why I looked out. Obviously I quickly hid on the floor when I saw them and haven't looked back since.

Bleurgh.

Also, how impractical must it be? It's only a Fiesta, it's hardly roomy.

Dh is asleep so I can't discuss it with him.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 01/06/2018 00:34

Funny as this thread is, do you all mind l too was having an early night so keep it down please.
I must be getting old because l found the bit about 'thinking' you had your Dh's pjs on but not being sure the funniest bit more than all the sexual innuendo.

Bahhhhhumbug · 01/06/2018 00:39

Salsmum Grin now l can't get the image of Op in oversized pyjamas clanking around dragging the bin out lol.

Skittlesandbeer · 01/06/2018 00:58

I had this happen, although it was mid morning. Had to walk past them to get my DD to kindergarten. I surprised myself with how ‘middle aged prude’ my indignation was. I rapped sharply on the window, and gave them my best ‘mum’ face.

There was instant embarrassed shuffling, and red cheeks (four sets). They scarpered.

I went over it in my head later. I realised that I was not actually a fun-snuffing prude, it was the extreme annoyance that I might have to spend the whole walk to childcare answering awkward 4yo questions. I just can’t handle that with not even a morning cup of tea under my belt!

In the dead of night, I’d have had a giggle to myself (having checked surreptitiously that it seemed consensual?) and gone to bed. I’d prolly be checking the curb for...ahem...litter the next day. There’d be words if I found litter.

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/06/2018 01:24

I got pg with DC1 in a Mini Cooper (the old ones that just about fitted the driver and a packet of fags)! As a PP said, love finds a way :o

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/06/2018 01:30

Oh and a bit of a confession.......

I had sex with 2 boyfriends in the same car.

Not actually as bad as it sounds! BF1 and I had a brief, and crap, relationship. He sold his car (Ford Escort MkII). I got together with BF2 and he had bought BF1's car. I think my relationship with the car was more meaningful than with either BF :o

Rach5l · 01/06/2018 02:31

He's 17, it won't last long Grin
C'mon have you never had sex in a car? I have & the police knocked on the window Grin ahh, memories Grin

theycallmebabydriver · 01/06/2018 03:24

My then boyfriend refused to do it in my car on the basis that if I later sold the car and it was involved in a crime it would have his DNA on the upholstery Confused

brizzledrizzle · 01/06/2018 03:41

Pop round for coffee and mention how you were hoping for a weekend getaway but it's hard to get a room.

Homebird8 · 01/06/2018 05:00

My DM wanted to know how the trainer print got on the inside of the windscreen of her metro. Must have been DSis.

TeeBee · 01/06/2018 05:10

How funny that people can get so uptight about sex when people are getting stabbed, are dying of illness, and bad things are happening everywhere. Ffs, it's just sex. It's natural, wonderful and free. Let them get on with it and just don't look if it bothers you so much. Give him a disapproving look? I'd give him a wink and say 'nice car'.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/06/2018 06:11

TeeBee
Nothing wrong with having sex in the car. But it’s antisocial if you wake your neighbours up to do it. Or to do it in a very public place such as a road filled with houses. Had ops ndnds come back drunk and started singing loudly in the street for 10 mins, it would effectively have been the same. It is the lack of decency and / or consideration.

GinGeum · 01/06/2018 06:19

We get this a lot on our farm track (not neighbours, just frustrated teens!) - a lot of the time we don’t notice until we see the ‘litter’ in the morning, but recently a car came quite close to the house so the dogs went crazy. I went out in the truck to see what was going on, and saw a red Fiesta parked up. I shone my main beams all the way up to the car, and with the dog barking in the boot, politely asked if they were lost? Found a young couple like rabbits in headlights sat facing forwards who then started spluttering about the sat nav taking them the wrong way. I asked where they were trying to go, and then said ‘oh what a coincidence, that’s where I’m going! You can follow me, come on!’

They dutifully followed for about 10 minutes but I would have loved to hear their conversation on the way, the boy looked mightily pissed off Grin

DeadButDelicious · 01/06/2018 06:27

Fiestas are well roomy. Now a Ford Ka. That's a challenge. Wink

BrutusMcDogface · 01/06/2018 08:33

Lol @ the suggestion of "why don't we do it in the road?" GrinGrinGrin

If the house was empty I wonder why they didn't go in. Also I wonder why they didn't park up somewhere discreet if they really wanted to do it in the car. So many questions.....Grin

BrutusMcDogface · 01/06/2018 08:34

My little 1997 fiesta was plenty big enough...the front seats reclined to horizontal!

Ohmydayslove · 01/06/2018 08:37

Fiesta back in the day. Now we would need a freelander to get comfy with our backs and knees. Grin

KittyHawke80 · 01/06/2018 08:43

I think sex in a car is incredibly naff, but that’s not really the issue. The horny little thrill seekers should have turned the effing engine off, especially if they didn’t want to draw attention to themselves. Idling engines drive me insane.

Empoweredwomenempowerwomem · 01/06/2018 08:49

Confused at everyone saying a fiesta is too small
When I first got together with DP we were having sex in a 1998 Ford KA BlushGrin

Helmetbymidnight · 01/06/2018 08:49

I hate people who leave the car engine on with a passion. (Not that kind of passion)

puppywithattitude · 01/06/2018 08:49

Crikey I didn't realise so many people had car sex.

PlausibleSuit · 01/06/2018 08:52

I've got a mental picture now of the girlfriend driving off gripping the gear-knob a bit hard with a grim expression, muttering to herself. "Oh don't bother Kyle, I'll do it myself!"

I had sex in my old Mini many times. Not the new shape one, the tiny old Austin kind. I had to share a bedroom with one of my brothers even when I was an older teenager so I used to go down (steady on) a country road known as Shaggers Lane.

Oh and there was an unlit warehousey (i.e. non-residential) bit of Bloom Street in Manchester where you'd park if you were going out in the Village. Because if you pulled, and neither you or the lad you got off with had anywhere to go...

SabineUndine · 01/06/2018 08:57

Homebird that made me snort in my nose. I always wondered where all the legs went in car sex.

MixedHerbs · 01/06/2018 08:58

Many many years ago aged 17 DH (then DBoyf) and I drove down a dark, rarely used alleyway for a little 'quiet time' away from his annoying siblings who always bothered us at his house.
After a few minutes we became aware of another car parked behind us, headlights shining into our vehicle.
It was FIL and his mates, on their way home from snooker - they thought DH's car had been stolen and were hoping to catch the culprits redhanded.
After some embarrassed shunting around and reversing it was never mentioned again.

Candyflip · 01/06/2018 09:08

it’s only a fiesta 😂 yeah and they’re only 17. Oh those days....

SharpieHorder · 01/06/2018 09:11

Oh, the flexibility of teenagers. I hope they clean up after themselves.
Note to self: Hide car keys until the weather gets colder.