My neighbour is having sex in his car outside my house

[Jonsey79]

I was having a lovely, early night and was fast asleep until about 15 minutes ago when I was awoken by a car engine idling away right outside. It's my neighbour.

The parents are away and the 17 year old son is being dropped off by his girlfriend, except they are having sex in the car.

I've got the windows open because it's warm and I can't very well shut them now because they'll see me.

Effing engine is idling away, which is what woke me and why I looked out. Obviously I quickly hid on the floor when I saw them and haven't looked back since.

Bleurgh.

Also, how impractical must it be? It's only a Fiesta, it's hardly roomy.

Dh is asleep so I can't discuss it with him.

Weird that they wouldn’t go in the house if it’s empty.

Just reach up and shut windows with eyes closed?! Pull curtains from floor level then stand up and close windows?

So what if they see you? They should be embarrassed, not you!

I would just bang the window shut! This happened to someone I know way back when, and the police were called

Turn your light on

Odd not to go in the house, but all my sexual encounters at that age were in a Mini Clubman - love finds a way 😂

Not on the drive though - we had a secret field...

Or start playing Barry White loudly

Luckily the curtains are closed, just the windows open. I wish the curtains were thicker - blackout lining ia useless in a situation like this.

Yes indeed, why the hell haven't they gone inside?!

Stand at the window and give a loud round of applause when they're finished.
I can guarantee you, it won't happen again!

If it wasn't so late I'd suggest playing the Benny Hill theme at maximum volume.

@storminateacup OMG! Miniclubman here too

Make a great show of closing the windows so they know you've seen them

Sod that, turn on every light you can and blare a stereo out the window with "Let's Get It On" or that one that goes "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel".

Stand next to the passenger window with score cards to mark them for style and technique, and a plate of orange quarters for half time. They're only young, they need a bit of encouragement.

They're not even on the driveway! They are hovering on the road and the headlights are still on (not sure this is relevant).

I'm going to close the windows I think. I'm wearing dh's pjs so in the dark they may mistake me for him anyway.

Go and knock on the window and tell them to switch the engine off.

I would just close the window. Sod worrying about them seeing you, they shouldn’t be shagging in public, especially when they have a private place available.

@HildaZelda
YES! Perfect suggestion

Make a cup of tea, go outside, stand looking in to the car and gently sip away....

🙋 another here who at the same age was doing this in her boyfriends Mini. Not even a clubman, just a tiny mini classic

Have closed the windows - I don't think they saw me, although I didn't look directly at them so they may have.

Maybe I should text his mum

Oh fucking hell Irene my back hurts enough without quips like that making me laugh and setting it off worse!

Or stand outside and start clapping out of sync. Put him off his stride.

I'm guessing the usual parking diagram doesn't really apply to this thread.

Seriously, I'd turn on all my house lights.

I’d go and tell them to turn off the engine, but I’m a bitch like that.

A Fiesta is surprisingly roomy

I’d go out and start making polite conversation, makes things nice and awkward!