To not allow my 11 yo DD to stay at Mixed sleepover

[GreenJanine]

Year 6, best friend, but boys and girls invited they are only 11 and all sleeping in a tent overnight.

Others are allowed but AIBU?

Yes all boys are the bloody devil aren't they angry. What is the fucking issue with girl mums hating boys all the bloody time. Makes me seethe. I bet you'll raise little darling as a feminist (read alternate word for male hater!!).

Well done for proving the need for feminism.

Yours, Mum of two boys

Kathee

Loving your lad thinking about stuffing alcohol down his trouser leg bless him

It would be a no from me.

I am old. When I was in the equivalent of y6 at the local grammar school there was one girl who was already having sex. And of my dds 'friends' there were a couple who were doing the deed by that age.

Thanks for the abusive message Candyflip. Yes that's correct, got THEMSELVES very bad reputations by always touching and embarrassing pre puberty boys who didn't want to be touched.

My DD (aged 10 at the time) had a daytime party last summer. Mixed sex. While I was getting food ready they piled into her room. All kids I know pretty well and like. Apparently within minutes one boy had suggested they play spin the bottle.
I had to smile and it was innocent enough, but a mixed sleepover? I'm not sure I would. They managed to sneak in kissing during a few unsupervised minutes while I was in the house.
As for the Guides and their new policy regarding admitting transgirls, I am aware of it, but as a Guide Leader have I received any training whatsoever on this issue? That would be a no. I would imagine very few Guide Leaders have yet received any training about how to run camps with mixed sex attendees yet.

Not abusive, you were being very misogynistic. Why is that?

Why are you causing trouble at this time of the morning, can't you wait until later? I'm not a morning person. And yes "fuck off" is abusive and no I wasn't being misogynistic.

Not morning for me. Yeah fuck off is a bit off but so is misogyny.

alcohol and sex in primary school?!

surely not. or am i just being naive?!

I'd say no. They get changed separately for PE by this age, and staying in the same room is many steps too far. It isn't about labelling boys as likely to misbehave, it's about privacy and protection from the naivety and lack of wisdom children still have at 11. They just don't need this to enjoy time with their friends.

Not misogyny, so there!! Stamps foot

It wasn’t misogyny. The girls were sexually curious, she said, and got themselves into trouble. Girls do have brains and control their own actions.
I knew a few girls like that in high school. One used to brag about how many fingers could fit inside her vagina. She was so foul

And the boys?

She said they got themselves a reputation How? They didn’t choose to get a reputation (whatever the fuck that is.) That is fucking misogyny right there. Surely you see this?

I wouldn't. I knew a girl who lost her virginity at 11.

I overheard a 9 year old girl propositioning my 4 year old son in my downstairs loo!

She said 'do you want to have sex?' I imagine he nodded because the next thing I heard was her saying 'lie down then' !

At that point I intervened and said they shouldn't be in the loo together.

She was a 'nice' girl, from a 'nice' family, still is.
I had known her for five years, daughter's classmate.

I dread to think what she would have got up to with access to a smartphone.
This was 22 years ago.

Candy flip, because she said they were ‘always touching and embarrassing pre puberty boys who didn't want to be touched.’
If that was boys doing that, there would be a massive uproar. That’s not misogyny, those girls were disgusting and I’d be ashamed if that was my daughter

You weren’t at all concerned about her wellbeing bewitched?

At 11 I would. Assuming all the kids are that age

Sexual behaviour (including assault) was very common in my school at 11/12. I'd not have wanted to go, myself, nor would it have been safe.

They said that after I called them on their misogyny. I was commenting on got themselves very bad reputations and one was pregnant at 14 like it was all her “evil witchy” doing.... or maybe there was a male involved? Like I said, misogynistic.

And if any "hanky panky" did happen, I suppose that would be allllll the boys fault wouldn't it?

I was Candy.

I discussed the incident with her mother who was a very senior social worker and single parent. She was also concerned and said she would keep a close eye and have a talk about boundaries.

No I wouldn't allow this. Dd has boy friends but she wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in close quarters with them.

It's not about drunken orgies it's about privacy and comfort.

I would certainly be worried about less mature children and mobile phone access.

If not allow a sleep over witg more than one or two kids for that reason tbh regardless of their sex.