Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

I'm not sure why 'party mum' didn't just say to 'softzilla'

"Right, nice chatting to you, I'm off to sit with OP" and then walked away.

That wouldn't have been difficult to do, wouldn't need super confidence or assertiveness and wouldn't have been rude.

It's all getting a bit silly isn't it.

Very calculating I think she is going to latch on to anyone connected to you. Be very on your toes with this occurrence.

And done in a way the police won't bother about it . Very clever and needs to watch with a great deal of suspicion

It is very calculating i agree. It's interesting (and worrying) that she was confident to go for someone so friendly to OP. SZ must have been surprised and delighted that her actions made PM stay away from OP the whole time.

Has Softzilla contacted Party Mum directly via text or phone calls since Friday?

Isn’t this harassment by proxy? Party Mum will need to tell Softzilla to leave her alone too.

Don't sweat this one OP - I almost think you need to let her feel like she has had a little victory to help her move on. You see Party Mum outside of the group meet up, right? So it's not going to get in the way of your friendship. And it keeps her away from you. If Party Mum doesn't mind (and that's possibly quite a big 'if') then I really wouldn't worry about doing anything about this one.
I haven't commented on this thread before but just wanted to say I really feel for you in this situation - I would find it so distressing and you have, at least in appearances, managed to keep your cool. I really hope she leaves you alone soon.

I suspect that with her knowledge of the background, PM felt intimidated by SZ's determination to follow her. It's easy to could have, should have, would have, but not always easy to do in the moment.

I do think PM needs to be prepared for more from SZ, and maybe she will - next time - be able to deal with it and stop it.

I think SZ is trying to isolate you OP, and using PM is only the first step. The organiser needs to have an eye out for this.

I've been on the receiving end of someone trying to take over my friendships when she didn't manage to bully me into saying and doing what she wanted. Two years later, she is still alert to any new friendships I have and finds an excuse to contact them and suggest meeting for coffee. I warn new friends now.

I would alert the group leader to it, make it about party mum and ask her to intervene if she makes party mum feel uncomfortable again. If I were the group leader, I'd be looking for an excuse to chuck SZ out by now.

Right, we need to draft in a third party here. Have this person pay for PMs entry/food/drinks. Then stand back and watch SZs head explode!

On a more serious note, PM could have a (semi) casual word with GL and mention that SZ seems to be starting on her now. Then it's not a case of You vs SZ anymore. It's not about choosing a side between two people, it's one person making a number of other group members feel uncomfortable.

So ... was what SZ was doing that day technically an extreme form of 'Wendying'? (Because i've never been 100% sure what wendying is!)

And if so is SZ now SWendyZ?

Shamelessly marking a place.

It sounds like SZ wants to freak you out further, is PM a little more placid and so an easy target?

You've been very calm throughout, it would have been harsh words and fisticuffs at dawn if this was me!

This is such a ridiculous thread. All you need to do is ignore the woman and block. Who cares if she hogs “party mum” at soft play? I mean these updates are really scraping the barrel now.

I’ve followed bits of this whole drama and it’s just so pointless. I don’t understand the countless never ending threads about “softzilla” phoning, talking to x, staring, breathing...it’s like she’s Liz from Motherland and your the blonde posh woman being stared at/followed. When will it end?

HateSummer - If you're not interested, maybe just don't read it??

It's not really the OP who's keeping it going. Posters keep asking for updates. If you don't like it, just go away, it's you who is ridiculous, @HateSummer

Thy have you gone to all that trouble for something you dont like/believe Hate?
Lot of effort to complain about something that doenst even affect you in any way!
Its not compulsory, just dont read the thread, OP isnt dragging things out SZ is with her harrassment and trying to isolate OP. Its spiteful, calculated and worrying.

BTW op has ignored her, and she has followed police instructions on how to deal with it, do you know better?

HateSummer. Why are you on this thread then ?

Bye bye then HateSummer

Hatesummer, all you need to do is ignore and scroll.

Hi all,
Just to reiterate...
If people are no longer enjoying this thread then (paraphrasing the words of the seminal kids' tv show) "Why Don't You just switch off your laptop and go out and do something less boring instead?" Or visit another thread, at least? Trollhunting will be deleted as usual.

Showing your age there HopeMumsnet

er... Youtube?

Who’s troll hunting? I’m saying the updates are just pointless. I didn’t realise you weren’t allowed to have an opinion against the grain on MN anymore..

Let’s all be sheep and think and talk and walk and dress the same way. That’s the MN way. That’ll be fun. 🙄.

I like the updates and have found the whole thread quite informative regarding how to deal with difficult people and when it is or is not appropriate to seek outside help. If the OP finds it either helpful or therapeutic (or both) to keep posting then she should.