Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

Did she just ignore you, or make it obvious that she was ignoring you? (IYSWIM)

@ReanimatedSGB thank you- I was starting to think I was wrong about who @BitOutOfPractice was, love seeing the old faces

Sorry, crazy weekend with family.
I haven't been discussing it with friends tbh. I've filled them in like I have you and most comments have been fingers crossed for it to work. Party mum commented that it seemed to go well after the last group session and group leader sent me a smile face. It was a subtle ignoring but I didn't go near her to test it.
I think I miss understood about a system message letting me know if she'd called. Maybe I needed to download something for it? Either that or she really has just stopped. She's blocked anyway.

What sort of phone do you have? My phone has a way of diverting contact from numbers rather than blocking them per se, so I can see them later. It doesn't really matter I guess as the police did it for you so if it has just blocked her then that's their call I suppose.

Fingers crossed it'll be silence irl from her too from now on.

Hope that’s the end of it all

It's great that you handled the group meeting so well, congratulations. Glad to see party mum and geoup leader are ready to ensure your protection too.

Hope she hasn't tried to contact you at all, and that that continues.

Good luck

Very brave of you to bite the bullet and return to the group meeting that cannot have been easy and I would have been on tenterhooks throughout. and to have talked things through with the friend who was remotely connected to SZ.
I completely disagree with people whove said its a drama etc.. Ive had experience of People with softzilla traits. Its such a difficult situation to be in and very difficult to express it fully in RLand I am very glad that you have had some support and back up on here. I'm sure there are others who have read these threads to throw light on their own situations and its given them an insight into how to handle it.
Well done for dealing with such a difficult situation and I am so happy for you that it seems to be calming down.

As its Friday, May you have a softzilla incident free day.

@unreasonableunreasonable I echo those sentiments- wishing you a Softzilla drama free playgroup session today - as do all of your MNers buddies following your thread(s)
Thinking of you XXX

Unfortunately not a softzilla free day. But me and party mum are not sure what to do about it. Police?
So did the same today as last week. Turned up on time with party mum. She arrived a bit late again (not unusual). But this time when she came in me and party mum were not standing together. She went straight over to party mum and joined the group of mums there chatting. And by party mum she stayed until she left shortly before finishing time. Like she did to me the day we were asked to leave group - if party mum went to get a drink so did she, moved to talk to another group of people, she followed straight after. Party mum didn't come over to me at all as she didn't want to 'lead her over'. She didn't do the silent stareing thing she did when following me, just joined in the chat but still it was constant.
Party mum and softzilla have never Benn particularly friendly. Only meet up in groups etc, but have been at each others dc parties as the dc get on well.
I'm favouring just ignoring it but party mum thinks I should call the police as she thinks it's really aimed at me.

What a weirdo. Also a very sly tactic as it's hard to "report" as she was not following or trying to communicate with you directly. So she could just do the innocent face if accused.
Yet she wanted you to know she was targeting you as effectively she was separating you from your companion for the whole group.
I'm at a loss to suggest what to do.

Not much you can do about SZ targeting your friend, OP. That would be down to her.

And she needs to do the same as you've done - TELL Sz that she is unwelcome, that she is to stop harassing her, and to keep her distance. Then when SZ oversteps those boundaries, she can go to the Police. I don't know what would happen with a 2nd harassment 'offence' tho.

What did Party Friend want to happen? Did she tell the organiser? Maybe organiser should be getting more involved, now. This can;t go on.

Party Mum should have ignored her completely and gone to talk to you. As she stayed away, this has nothing to do with you and you should do nothing. Party Mum should watch out for becoming her new target though!

She is either hoping to unnerve you by doing this, or she is moving her attentions on to Party Mum instead.

There's nothing to report. She is latching on to party friend, so it's up to party friend how she deals with it.

Contact the police and let them know, they can then make the decision to act or not. Even if they don't act on it it will help build a bigger picture of it all escalates again.

I don’t think there’s anything to report either. Party mum should be very careful though.

Perhaps SZ thinks you will be so jealous that you will decide to be BFF.

She sounds like she has absolutely no social skills whatsoever! Was she this way before she went full zilla?

Next time tell Party Mum to come over to you if she would do normally. I agree that this is a tactic to isolate you knowing your friends will try to protect you. Also, I echo that Party Mum needs to become wary of her too, and she could be SZ next victim, so she needs to tell SZ to back off. TBH that behaviour is creepy AF without the background.

If it eases your mind, have a quick chat with the police. There's not likely anything they can do with this, but they could advise when to escalate stuff to them.

Oh, but tell Party Mum to politely tell her to back off. Maybe something like its been nice chatting to you but I'd like to talk to other people alone now. She could also be trying to make out that you are the trouble makers in the group.

Softzilla thought this strategy out very carefully. She knew it would get to both you and Party Mum who must have been very uncomfortable throughout. It is utterly brazen and calculated power play to isolate you. She was also counting on everyone being too polite and not wanting to make a scene and it was deliberately imposing her will on Party Mum as a demonstration to the whole group. Instead of working out how she can get her life back to normal, she spends her time working out strategies like this. She is deeply unpleasant. This is still harrassment and you must tell Police or keep a record, get Party Mum to make a note and also report to the Playgroup leader.
Forewarned is forearmed. Play group leader needs to be on watch and ready to intervene. It doesn't matter she feels this is embarrssing or over reacting anymore. Perhaps if she sees it going on next time she could ask Party Mum to come to her office alone.
Party Mum must find a way of saying please do not follow me quite bluntly. SZ is taking advantage of her politeness.
SZ will carry on picking on individuals unless a few of you unite.

So very sorry to hear you've had a rotten morning, but the more she does this, the more she will expose herself and repel others.

Perhaps SZ thinks you will be so jealous - actually I've had this happen to me! My Dps NDN felt that he 'belonged' to her, as he was friendly with her DH before he passed. DP used to do jobs for her, they would go out into town (as a group, normally at least 4-5 of them) and into pubs, on holiday, camping, etc. Anyway, when I came on the scene, she hated me at sight (of course ) and seemed to have 'feelers' out, so any pub we went into, half an hour later, there she'd be. Any friends we spoke to, she'd appear, and when we moved on, she'd monopolise the friend for 20 minutes, before moving onto whomever we were just finished talking to... Very weird, but she eventually got bored. Hardly see her at all now, TG.

SZ is just making sure you know she is still around. Yes it's targeted at you, but not much you can do about it. Ignore.

I suspect Party Mum is her new target. SZ will try to take her 'away' from you to prove you are now nothing to her/punish you for standing up to her.

If group leader offers to ban SZ, please let it happen this time.

Party Mum must find a way of saying please do not follow me quite bluntly. SZ is taking advantage of her politeness.

Would 'Fuck off and leave me alone' work for that?