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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Softzilla, the police

960 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 31/05/2018 16:59

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 08/06/2018 18:19

While I don't agree with her regarding this thread Bit is a veteran MNer and definitely not SZ.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/06/2018 19:55

Thanks SGB Smile

Ive battled the M25 and lost and am retiring from the thread.

Genuinely hope you're ok op. I know it must've been extremely unsettling for you and I hope it genuinely blows over soon.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 08/06/2018 20:06

Thank you Bit. Though it is present tense on how it is unsettling for me, not past. I turned up exactly on time with party mum to a pretty much empty group. However 45 ish mins later guess who shows up? I didn't even notice she'd arrived till party mum told me and she didn't approach or even glance my way the whole time. Group leader did ask if I wanted her to ask softzilla to leave but I said as long as she left me alone I was ok. She left shortly before the end of the group. I feel so relieved!

OP posts:
MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 08/06/2018 20:22

That's a really good sign that she's listened to the police and is able to control herself.

I would still be wary though for a while.

Gemini69 · 08/06/2018 20:25

she just might finally be getting the message Flowers

Ravenesque · 08/06/2018 20:25

I'm glad she left you well enough alone but like Shiny says, wariness is probably sensible. If SZ was decent she wouldn't come back to the group.

Anyway! I'm glad it went okay and that you're relieved. I hope you have a great weekend!

GabsAlot · 08/06/2018 20:39

glad she left you alone and you enjoyed yourself

CarpeVitam · 08/06/2018 20:43

Great news OP! Thanks

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 08/06/2018 20:48

That's great OP, looks like the Police's visit did some good in the end. Well done for taking the high road too, though it must have been hard.

SoddingUnicorns · 08/06/2018 21:07

Brilliant news OP! Long may it continue, hopefully this is the end of it for you now.

QuoadUltra · 08/06/2018 21:43

Thanks for the update! What a relief.

expatinspain · 08/06/2018 21:54

Good news. Fingers crossed that that's the end of it Smile

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 08/06/2018 21:58

Here's hoping! Feel like I can finally breathe a bit. Last few weeks I've been feeling almost stifled. Breathless.

OP posts:
SoddingUnicorns · 08/06/2018 22:01

It sounds like it’s been a bloody stressful jittery few weeks, but hopefully now she’ll wind her neck in and behave. And you can get back to normality!

mmzz · 08/06/2018 22:02

That text sent whilst the police were with her must have done you a big favour because she obviously wasn't taking it seriously, but the police Missy have said something to her after that finally got into her head.

ChiefSuspect · 08/06/2018 22:12

Glad it went ok today op. She seems to have taken the advice on board.

Tistheseason17 · 08/06/2018 23:27

Good news about today...
Honestly, though, she is fairly batshit crazy so I would still be cautious as people do revert to type, unfortunately...

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 08/06/2018 23:37

So glad it went ok today. But yeah I would keep your guard up. Just to be on the safe side. But fingers crossed the police visit really got through to her. Have a lovely weekend

Ginkypig · 09/06/2018 01:28

That's a good sign.

Has she also stopped trying to contact you?

Hopefully she has lost the momentum now.

TheMaddHugger · 09/06/2018 01:39

Unreasonableunreasonableness that's a good update Flowers (((((hugs)))))

Lizzie48 · 09/06/2018 08:07

Great update, Unreasonable, I hope that means that it's over now and that Softzilla has finally got the message following the police visit and that she won't be bothering you again. Smile

WellThisIsShit · 09/06/2018 10:59

Yes I also think her ridiculous last text would have changed the polices tone somewhat at the end of their visit!

It shows how little respect she had for them at the beginning and that would have not gone down well surely?!

Anyway, luckily because you managed to contact them and let them know what she was doing whilst the police were still there, it would have allowed the police to really ram home the message, in a more serious tone, which has obviously worked - yay!

And long may it continue.

But oh my goodness, it’s shocking how long it has taken to get it through her thick skull that her behaviour is unacceptable. No wonder your approach didn’t work, because you treated her like a normal person with social awareness and kindness and well, a sense of limits! And, on a serious note, no wonder it felt so scary, to be the focus of someone for whom all the normal rules appear to have been suspended, because, well, who know what she might do or where she will draw the line.

Thank goodness that you’ve discovered she does appear to listen to the police, even if they have to grab her attention twice to get her to take them seriously, she does seem to be listening. I hope you can feel some comfort in this. And as time goes on and if she carries on behaving, you’ll be able to breathe more easily again properly Flowers

Jux · 09/06/2018 15:20

I'm delighted that she seems to be behaving properly now. I'm not surprised you were breathless, it's a sign of great stress. Glad that is lifting now. We'll keep our fingers crossed that it continues.

Hang on to memory that so many rl people stood beside you. That's a great thing!

Whereismumhiding2 · 09/06/2018 16:47

@unreasonableunreasonable. I'm really glad you updated us all. Flowers and that police chat seems to have worked Flowers Xxx

I'm also glad that MNHQ commented and you didn't pay too much mind to some (perhaps ill thought out ) comments from a minority PP, although @Bit has tried to be kind afterwards & explain she thought she was being helpful.

There's probably quite a few MNers silently following your threads who have experienced same unwelcome intrusive harassment and bullying, and 'get' how stressful it has been for you and how you won't know (for a while) when you can finally relax again.

I hope that time is now but we are all here for you, if it starts again and to help deal with fall out emotions. Sometimes when it all stops, your body goes 'argh'! like an aftershock ( I talk from experience).

Anyway, I think all along you've been kind, logical and considered in your responses, and also rather admirable.

ThatKitKatCrunch · 09/06/2018 17:25

Fingers crossed it's starting to calm down then. What have your other friends - party mum et al. said about it?

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