Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

I've not been here for ages
And now this thread is calling. I've started reading the first one - I think!

Can anyone link?

The SIL asking is suspicious. Seek advice from the Police. Log everything. Lock your Facebook down and keep your powder clean.

There's clearly mental health issues going on with her

Or

To flip it on the side, she might need a friend as her home life is ghastly.

The SIL asking is suspicious. Seek advice from the Police. Log everything. Lock your Facebook down and keep your powder clean.

There's clearly mental health issues going on with her

Or

To flip it on the side, she might need a friend as her home life is ghastly.

you've made a big mistake talking to the SIL. You've opened communication channels again. She will 'talk' to you or harass you through the SIL.

but don't block the SIL unless police tell you too, as you can use this as harassment evidence too

Don't forget to say "please stop discussing this with me" if SIL persists as this is along the lines of the police advice.

I would be very wary of the SIL.

She's not a friend through the group. Hence why I originally thought it was safe to chat to her. She's just responded saying 'I'm so sorry'.

It sounds like the SIL knows how batshit she is! That and the fact that her DP wasn’t surprised at the police involvement tells you everything you need to know about her.

Well done OP. You’ve been holding your head up high throughout and have done so well with all this. Plus you’ve got a bonus new (non-stalkerish) friend out of it!

Well, if Friend/SIL is somehow suddenly being an evil mouthpiece for SZ at least she can't say you're being weird and not speaking to anyone and she's been given a clear and accurate 'in a nutshell' version of why she ended up with the police on her doorstep!

If the SIL friend is a genuine friend then you've answered her, not looked paranoid and kept her politely in the loop. Win win either way really.

I wonder if SIL has had a similar experience with softzilla, and her husband and softzilla husband sorted it out between them. And SIL is sorry because she did nothing or warned OP about softzilla.

I reckon SIL knows exactly what you've been contending with and is on your side. Just because there's a connection doesn't mean they're buddies. And that connection is very tenuous.

It could be a very tenuous relationship, if any at all. I wouldn't be able to pick some of my SiLs sisters out of a crowd never mind DHs SIls sisters.

One on my side is bat shit and I wouldn't even attempt to take her side against someone I had got to know as a friend. Blood may be thicker than water but there is no real connection here unless they are friends apart from the "family" connection. It doesn't sound as if she is friends with sz at all. Just mentioned the relationship in passing really as a fact, not a connection.

Actually one of DHs SILs sisters is his x (from way way before me). She got a bit of a fright one day when she popped in to visit one of DHs brothers and his wife and we were also there visiting. They were all originally from the same village and she was on holiday in city that BILs had moved to so decided to pop in to say hello. We were up staying with them with our newborn DS, showing him off. I couldn't have given two hoots but she looked mortified. :o

.

Just RTFT and previous ones, I'm exhausted! I hope Softzilla leaves you alone and has got the message. I think you should still stay in guard with SZ's distant relation, stuff can be passed back and a PP is right that it opens up communication again. Be very careful and be very neutral with her.

hope your doing okay OP

I can't believe how these 7 billion threads turned out
SZ needs a slap
Party friend is amazing, as is group leader.
SIL is a meddling shit.
As are the mutual friends who only acknowledge you to get gossip.
Oh-
And MN needs a way of grouping threads together and an option to view only the OP updates @MNHQ?????????????? Pls pls pls pls it's just taken me 5 years to read this!!!!!!

@NaMajesty 😂

@NaMajesty there is a technique. Look for the OP’s post in green. Also, when I’m on my computer I switch to view 100 posts at a time and then a find on the page for the OP’s username.

I do 'show all' then ctl F and out in OP name then it highlights all post with OP name in, then you can just look at those

Go into settings and do the thing where you can set it to show all of the OPs posts in one colour and yours in a different one. Saves loads of time to skim a thread!

Hippywannabe the colour change thing helps, a bit, but its not so useful when you have approx 3000 posts to get through. Its easy to miss a few.
It would be better if you could just filter down to the OP's posts, so you don't get accused of not having RTFT and told that the OP explained that she can't "cancel the cheque" somewhere around post number 673.

Change your settings to show all comments in one page, copy the OPs name, and then use "find on page" to jump through.
I have not regretted my choice to bin off separate pages for a single second.