Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

Glad you have things sorted and have some support from the group leader.

I hope for your sake she decides not to come back to the group. I fear this is far from over if she does. The police can stop her contacting you, but they can't stop her from talking to others and trying to manipulate them into thinking you've over reacted, lied, taken things too far calling the police or whatever.

I knew someone like this, although she was different in that she didn't have the bottle to say anything to my face, she literally couldn't stop talking behind my back. Saying really terrible things, spreading rumours etc. Even after a warning at work, she still carried on. I left the company any moved abroad (not because of her) and she still carried on bad mouthing me for months.

Hopefully you can talk with the group leader about where things go from here, because this could be far from the end of it all if she is as unhinged as she sounds.

Good for you op 😊

I'm quite surprised at some comments re police report. If this had been a male acquaintance at a group hobby I suspect reactions would have been different. Just because it's a 'mum' from toddler group doesn't mean that it is impacting any less on OPs life. Worried about what she's going to do or say to OP or her friends, being barraged with unwanted texts and calls, refusing to leave OP alone, disrespecting OPs requests and boundaries. I think sending OP an invite to an event (made up event?) where nobody else is invited just shows the obsession and lengths SZ will go to. Not to mention actually texting OP while the police are with her telling her not to contact OP!

I feel for you OP I can completely understand how being a nice person and friend this would affect you to the point of tears. You clearly didn't want to go to the police but you're at a point of no option, you're dealing with crazy through no fault of your own.

I hope it stops and you can finally get some peace and normality.

FWIW I wonder if she has “picked” on you because you’re a relative newcomer to the group. It’s possible that she doesn’t have the confidence to do it with the others.

I've been reading this thread from the beginning with increasing horror at her behaviour. I'm so sorry you've been put through this OP. I agree with PP that it's heartening that you're getting support from your group leader and friends. Stay strong.

I've been reading this thread from the beginning with increasing horror at her behaviour. I'm so sorry you've been put through this OP. I agree with PP that it's heartening that you're getting support from your group leader and friends. Stay strong.

Fiesta - are you also the kind of person who victim blames

@ klutzy, haven't you got anything better to do? If you don't like the thread don't read it! 🙄

It hasn't taken 2 parties to create this drama, FiestaThenSiesta that's ridiculous. It's Softzilla who has created this all on her own, the OP hasn't done anything wrong. And the fact that the group leader is supporting her backs this up. It's Softzilla who should stay away and not the OP.

Op, go to the group if you want to. Keep close to friends.

The leader knows the score and I don't see why OP should have to avoid because of the crazy woman.

Placemark

Just caught up on thread three and now this one. She really doesn't know how to leave things alone! Hope the police visit has finally given her the hint.

Stick to the holiday tips @fiestathensiesta

Stalkers are completely grim.

They make you question every daily action to ensure they're not going to turn up or hassle some vague or not vague friend /acquaintance.

I don't know the current research... But last decade the advice was to be not engage... Don't respond... Even if you want to tell her you don't /do owe her 3pence happeny....

Any. Response.. Will be reinforcing for this person...

Let the police /court deal with them

Fiesta
So op should hide away for how long? Not go to play group not go to softplay?

Sz caused this all by herself op has not encouraged any of it and has made it clear right at the start she wanted to put it behind them but sz has kept it going.

Why the freak should she be the one to hide away like she has done something wrong?
Nice bit of victim blaming there.

OP, so glad that the group leader is supportive, she has lots of contacts, is impartial and will be able to set anyone right on SZ.
I don't think you need to message an account of this to people as some have suggested.. why should you justify yourself to any of them.
I would find it very very difficult myself to keep going to soft play, but i think that as you have support, if you want to go you should. It will be hard the first time, but it will be even harder if you leave it a few weeks, I think because it will build up in anticipation. Also, hopefully SZ will have a big strop about soft play and refuse to give it her custom (hope so) .
I think you have done everything you can on the SZ front so far and have proceedures in place for dealing with any further nonsense.
The thing to do now is to try to forget about her as much as possible, easier said than done, but keep busy, find interesting things to do with DC, see people who are nice to you and try not to worry. Wishing you all the best.

I'm appalled anyone should think that OP should hide away. She's done nothing wrong!

Picture this bloody stalker woman gaily going about her usual socialising business with her kids, and enjoying a normal life while OP sits at home in case she 'escalates' it by going out !!

How long is she to leave it? One week? Two? The stalker will still be out there - looking like the normal one!

When it said Softzilla, the police, I thought straight away of Message in a Bottle….. I wonder if we could have her washed up on a desert island….

Talk about a pack mentality. Why don’t you lot try imagining how idiotic you’d feel if you actually said this to a police officer. After you had reported someone harassing you.

Victim blaming? No. Being the rational thinking adult who does not want to escalate a situation and has involved the police.

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut stick to posting your opinion instead to telling me when I can express mine.

What the actual FUCK?!

Oh do calm down dear.
Thankfully OP, the group leader and most of us on here are too sensible to heed your advice Fiesta.

Fiesta - I think there's a reason your alone in your opinions.

But crikey op - you'd better hide away from the life you've built because someone else is victimising you!