Softzilla, the police

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

Sorry to hear it has escalated to this op. Hope the police visit has knocked a little sense into her and that you don’t need to her from her.

I would go to group so you get to see some nice adults rather than stewing indoors on your own all day.

If she turns up and does anything untoward, phone the contact number the police gave you right in front of her and state that you are being harassed. If nobody there, leave a message.

The experiences of most replying are real, and that counts.

Completely agree Larry - to me that's always been at least half the value of MN threads. Even in cases where the op may not be genuine, it seems very unlikely that ALL the responses are also false...

I don’t know what I’d do but if just think what was best for DC really. I think if you have warned the group leader and think it’s ok to come then go.

I disagree about returning to your group.

Why fuel her obsession and confrontation?

Why escalate it?

From what you’ve written, she’s thriving on the drama and the confrontation. You’re left crying.

What sort of sane person would continue to fuel her obsession at their own expense?

You want it to stop - you stop going to the group.

By all means, tell everyone why and her actions will get her ostracised from the group anyway.

But why on earth would you go to that group when you know it will just escalate?

But why should OP miss out on seeing her friends because of this?

She can give it a miss for a couple of weeks surely to god?

Invite a few friends round.

What is your D's take on all this? Now you have blocked her hopefully that will be the end of it all. If anyone asks you be truthful and tell them she's been scaring the hell out of you with her weirdo behaviour but don't message everyone as someone could pass it on to her.

I'd return to the group in good time but right now it's 5he last place of want to hang out because you are hardly going to feel relaxed there.

Dh not D

Morning, everyone. Just a reminder that trollhunting is against our talk guidelines. We've had to delete a few posts like this already this morning. Please do report to us rather than air your suspicions on the boards. Thanks!

Hold your head high, OP. You shouldn't have to leave the group as you've done nothing wrong.

OP said yesterday that there was no group this week, presumably because of half term.

Thank you mnhq!
No group on this week so if I go out it'd be just shopping or to the park (or soft play!)
Think I might just stay in and quiet then back to normal routine next week. At least in the house I can not answer the door.
DH is of the view I should continue to go to group as I shouldn't let her push me out. Plus being new to the area it has taken a while to settle in and find good groups and routine.
Group leader is coming round after lunch for a playdate. Looks like I may have made a new friend out of this! And it'll be good to meet her DC who are older. I'll have a chat to her about it. Probably play it by ear on how I feel for a bit.

Group leader is coming round after lunch for a playdate. Looks like I may have made a new friend out of this!

There is always a silver lining. at least one good thing has come out of all this ridiculousness.

On the plus side, Reasonable, other than Softzilla, people really seem to like you. That must feel nice and help (a teeny bit) to balance out all the crazy.

being new to the area it has taken a while to settle in and find good groups and routine

And it’s THAT which makes me so angry on your behalf @unreasonableunreasonableness

Yes we can sympathise to a degree that SZ undoubtedly has MH issues. But that’s not on you to understand and sympathise with what with the havoc she’s unleashed on the life of you and DC.

I hope against hope she’s taken a telling and fucks off.

Actually, I'm not sure how making any statement to others would play out.

Softzilla will undoubtedly try to twist this, but I suspect trying to preempt it could backfire.

Op would you consider looking for a new group to go to? Tbh softzilla aside, some of the others there sound quite bitchy. Just see the ones you like away from group.

Thanks MNHQ for posting that. The troll hunting gets very boring, very quickly.

OP glad you've got the group leader coming round, sounds like you might have a new friend there!

I don't want to go out incase I see her

And thats worrying, it sounds as if she has got in your head. Even if she never contacted you again your anxiety will be triggered just at the thought. Avoidance maintains anxiety, so the best thing to do is carry on as normal. Go where you usually go. Dont stop anything because of her. if you see her act as if you dont.

Group leader sounds great!

I'm really glad the group leader is being so supportive, it looks like you've made a very good friend. And hopefully now you've blocked Softzilla and the police have had a word with her, she'll back off now and be able to go back to some form of normality.

Don't let her turn you into a prisoner in your own home.

Just don't hesitate to ring the police if she shows up and you feel scared/intimidated.

Glad you have made a new friend op. Having a stay at home day is perfectly understandable after your hellish week.
Dont give up on going where you want to because of sz. She is the one with the problem not you and your real friends will know that.

The rest can bog off and maybe they will be next if they do her some percieved slight only she knows about.

You have coped with this admirably stay strong and dont take any more crap from her. Shut that shit down every time.

You shouldn’t feel pushed out. Nonetheless, if it was me, I would probably not go for a 2-3 weeks and let the dust settle (and for her to get bored) and then start going again. Perhaps sort it so you arrive and leave with a friend for support and confidence.
And shortly after that it will be the 6 week holiday.