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AIBU?

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Original poster

Softzilla, the police

960 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 31/05/2018 16:59

I can't update just now but here's the new thread. I will update later when I can.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 31/05/2018 22:21

She really is clearly not quite right especially as she has never asked for £5 Confused

Uniquack · 31/05/2018 22:25

I've been following the threads but haven't commented. I do hope it all works out for you OP.

blueangel1 · 31/05/2018 22:27

Haven't read the whole thread, but OH and I have had severe problems with harassment/stalking/threats from his ex (who is either a narc or has borderline personality disorder). Stick to NC, it's the only thing that works.

CarpeVitam · 31/05/2018 22:29

Sending you hugs OP x

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 31/05/2018 22:31

I'm very sad that Fiesta's tip's gone.

MipMipMip · 31/05/2018 22:31

I really want to know Fiesta's tip now....

Ucantarguewistupid · 31/05/2018 22:32

Had a stalker 10 yrs ago. Went to station, made a statement. They took it very seriously said it was something they took seriously as unwanted contact is usually first indicator of stalker and these things can turn serious so they prefer to get involved long before that.

They had informal chat with the person. Did tell.me not to block (change number back then, blocking wasn't as straightforward as it is now at least not as I recall) before then so they could have proof of pattern of behaviour. I then changed number but kept the old SIM.

I did have a home visit by the police after their informal chat so they could tell.me about it and next steps. I was not to engage in any way and was to log any incidence no matter how trivial to 101 and they would put a marker on my name number and address so would be treated seriously and as a priority.

Looked up from reading in a coffee shop to find my stalker Sat at a table opposite staring at me. Called 101. Went home to find a letter posted through my letter box. Called 101 again. Next day they arrested the guy and after they formally cautioned him they called me to ask if I was happy with that outcome. While they had left him in the interview room to call me, he sent me a text. I received it about 30 secs before they called. Despite this we decided to leave it at the caution.

A few more home visits and visits to the station by myself were needed and ultimately he was give a restraining order.

Not sure if the police warned you but often these people do end up making counter claims - and indeed.mine did but luckily the team involved were very good.

To those dismissive and just give a firm fuck off, and victim blaming and doubting. Well. Glad you guys are not police officers! Stalkers are on a whole other level and unless you have been there, you really shouldn't judge. It's that kind of attitude that stops people reporting early enough to prevent escalation. Why the fuck wait for it to get really bad?

To all out there. Should someone make contact after it is clear you don't want it and at an alarming volume do go to the police. Most forces act as above and do take it seriously and do prefer to be involved asap. Think it would never happen to you? Me too. I've a massive gob on me and have no problem telling people to fuck off.

Troll hunters fuck off.

Those not reading the threads and comments and making incredulous statement - read. Or fuck off.

A stalker is shit.

OP not your fault.and do talk to the group leader or whoever. Kelp talking to friends and keep logging. Do not engage at all. Do not offer money.

0nTheEdge · 31/05/2018 22:33

Fiesta's tip has gone and now I'm intrigued! Can I request a repost?
On a more serious note, I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, I've followed all threads. It's ridiculous that you should have to potentially miss out on things like playgroup just because she's a knob. I really hope things get better for you soon.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 31/05/2018 22:33

Get a disposable coffee cup. Fill with chilled white wine. You don't have to pay for expensive hotel cocktails. 😆

Storminateapot · 31/05/2018 22:59

I think I'd be inclined to give the Group Leader a heads up. She knows it's out of hand but if she knows how it's escalated this week then maybe it's good she knows and has time to give it some thought rather than be broadsided if anything kicks off next time you both attend playgroup.

If you know you owe her £5 for something then pay her, but it doesn't sound as if you are aware of what she thinks you owe her this 'sizeable sum' for, so don't. Any engagement with her positively reinforces the crazy. Is that how much the soft play entrance fee is by any chance? Is she still banging on about that?

WeirdyMcBeardy · 31/05/2018 23:05

I hope she backs off now. Somehow I don't think she will!

Willow2017 · 31/05/2018 23:05

Op doesnt owe her anything. She turned up at a get together at soft play and decided op should have paid for her lunch for her for no apparent reason. Op wasnt 'hosting' every one just went and paid for themselves.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/05/2018 23:05

OP, you've had a very very hard day, but I think it will help move things to a resolution of this horrible experience.
The £5 owed is a massive lie that Softzilla made up on the spot to the police when they asked her why she kept contacting OP. Or possibly its a lie she's been telling so often from the start that she herself now believes it to be true.
On NO account pay her £5 by any method - Softzilla will turn around and say it is evidence that she was telling the truth and you were lying. She will use it to justify her behaviour and as one poster commented, it is another form of contacting her. And it won't make her go away, it will be paying her and feeding the beast.
The school thing is further down the line, but when you get to that point, you can see the Head and ask that they are not in the same class. They will do this if there is an important reason, which this is. We had two primary classes at our school and barely saw the other class's parents. Also, if there is an option of two, apply to both and make a decision nearer the time.
Also, why you? Why anyone? SZ was probably feeling insecure in her group so she picked on one of the newest members, one who had less established links in the group. Like any bully, she did it because she could. No other reason and its not your fault. So much support for you on here OP (ignore the trolls) and luckily also in real life. Hold fast, SZ will soon be sent packing.

CocoAndTheChocolates · 31/05/2018 23:13

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CocoAndTheChocolates · 31/05/2018 23:14

Imagine how gleeful she would be if she did get £5 off you. She would go crowing to the other mums saying she had to involve the police to get back money you owed.

Please don't give her anything but a wide berth.

Lizzie48 · 31/05/2018 23:17

You definitely shouldn't pay her £5. It would just give her ammunition to make it look like you're in the wrong, which is obviously what she wants. You owe her nothing.

rednsparkley · 31/05/2018 23:19

There is no way on God's green earth I would give her £5!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/05/2018 23:19

"Please don't give her anything but a wide berth.", beautifully put, Coco.

Ravenesque · 31/05/2018 23:33

Sounds like the police did a good job and this should be the end of it. I hope this has scared/shamed her enough to leave you alone. She also needs to be banned from soft play though, no way should you have to walk away.

liverbird10 · 31/05/2018 23:47

reads
growls
leaves

ReanimatedSGB · 31/05/2018 23:50

If this was really about a fiver, then SZ was given plenty of opportunities just to say: You owe me five pounds and I want it. She never mentioned any such thing. At the point where the OP said: anything you want to say to me, you can say right here (at playgroup, when SZ kept trying to insist that OP 'go outside'), SZ did not say anything at all about being owed £5. So absolutely anyone among the mum crowd will be bemused by any claims from SZ that OP owed her £5 and wouldn't pay it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 31/05/2018 23:57

I think i'd be tempted to make a jigsaw with a cut up £5 and pop it through her letterbox. Maybe some of the pieces could spell out letters saying ODFOD.

liverbird10 · 01/06/2018 00:05

In all seriousness, this SoftZilla sounds like she has serious MH issues.

MissEliza · 01/06/2018 00:18

I think she does too. Almost feel sorry for her.

BlueEyedBengal · 01/06/2018 00:23

Missed fiestas tipsHmmcan someone enlighten me what it was about? Grin

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