To believe there is nothing I can do to change situation with neighbour

[CantankerousCamel]

A bit of background (massively reduced)
We move into council property
Neighbour moves in 2 years later
Suddenly we start getting inspections, council on our case all the time, everything we do is ‘reported back’ Mostly heavily exaggerated and ludicrous. We were reported once for having sex at 10.30pm on a Sunday night.

Anyway. This has gone on now for 4 years, when the council route proved ineffective they reported us to the police for drugs, parties, child abuse, social services, the schools, everyone you can imagine.

Around 3 years ago, the neighbours parked their vehicle on the one-laned access road that services both properties (and the others on the lane) where they shouted abuse at me while I prepared my bike to go to the gym, they then claimed I deliberated scratched them with my bike and then scratched their car. Bizarrely this matter went to court, I was given references from police, probation office (I worked there as a volunteer) and the school. I was found not guilty (of course)

Things claimed down (court case was two years ago)

Various reports apparently kept coming to the police and council. Told the police that unless they had a warrant, not to come to the house as visits were obviously spurring things on. In the end I had to put in a complaint to the council (after asking for 6 months respite to raise my just born daughter) and accused them of not allowing me my human rights to a private family life.

This seemed to work for a while, for the last few months I have been dealing with serious bipolar depression and raising my (now 10 month old) daughter and sons.

Now the council are back on my case, two phone calls last week, an email this week, telling me I’ve been having a bonfire with old kitchen cupboards (I have not, I still have them) asking me if my cooker is new as it’s ‘Making the neighbours wall hot’ telling me my children playing in the garden is ‘damaging their fence’

It’s just utter madness.

The neighbours have no life, they spend their whole existence living in the lounge room while the children are upstairs (hence why they get a bit more disturbance than normal because of course people are awake different times in the lounge) they report me for anything they can think of.

It’s really, really tiresome...

AIBU to carry on living my life? I’m not sure anything I change would be enough for them, they seem to want me to have no visitors (they complained I had visitors the day I gave birth here, the visitors were midwives) and to play music in the garden when we are out there otherwise we have our conversations listened to and repeated back to us?

I am SICK of it but beyond ignoring them (which doesn’t seem to be working) I just don’t know what else to do?!

See a solicitor.

Move!

I wonder if talking to a local councillor or even your MP might help? You are being harassed and there are laws against this.

If both properties are council then one of two steps should be taken:

1. the council should relocate your neighbours on the basis of the constant nuisance they are causing both to you and to the council themselves
2. the council should relocate you

You've put up with this for far, far too long. Someone with more experience will probably be along but I'd be demanding a meeting with the council. They must have a file on these people an inch thick proving their campaign of harassment and lies. They need to take action.

I'd personally be tempted to be noisier.

Surely you can report them for harassing/stalking you?

Definitely move

I’d press charges for harassment. This is exactly what it is. Take them to court. And be as persistent as they’ve been.

Op could you do a home swap? as you have a house you could potentially move quicker.

Good God , does your neighbour have a mate that works in the council office ?
Seems really odd that they are acting on every word they say
Poor you . I’d see a solicitor

I feel incredibly let down by the council and police, they came to me as part of the antisocial team years ago and informed me of the endless reports, I told them about her standing outside my home shouting abuse, the blocking the lane, following me to the shop, standing on the school ground and watching me, sending messages to my kids via her kids, shouting things in the garden when my children are playing etc

They said to make my own reports, which I did, dutifully.

This was used against me in court. It was ‘tit for tat’ according to the legals despite me only working off advice and clearly wanting to just get on with my life.

Any restraining orders are invalid because the houses are so close together and they go to the same school.

I don’t want to move, I’ve put around £10k into this home and want to buy it in January. Moving isn’t an option for us

I love it when people say, 'Move'. Like people have immediate funds and resources to just pick up and leave. Private renting in the UK is shit unless you've got quite a bit of money and even then it's shit. A lot of councils don't have much, if any, spare stock so council housing is like gold dust.

The council are ridiculous, there are things the neighbours do that I don’t bother reporting but when I have (Like their car destroying our hedge from them driving into it and then subsequently the fence we put up) nothing gets done.

The council hate them clearly, but they are persistent, whereas I have three kids, my own business, just graduated open Uni... I don’t have time for endless reporting and bothering.

Pressing charges for harrassment (according to the police) is basically impossible. She has literally stood outside my house and shouted about turning up to my kids birthday party at Pizza Hut or made it clear she’s been listening in on my phone calls, she records me when I’m getting a delivery or stands outside our bedroom window while we are painting and the police and council do and have done nothing. O

I'd request your Housing officer comes round and have an in-depth conversation with them about harassment.

Have you kept a physical diary/ log of all incidents as proof of harassment? Let the HO know that you intend to proceed with harassment because it won't reflect well on them if they're not actively intervening to sort this out.

I had this op.
Soon as I moved in guy upstairs is a loner wanted to be in my business I rejected it that's when the false complaints happened.

This resulted in me being charged by police (case got dropped by court ironically the prosecutor dropped it saying it's unfair)
And my housing association obtaining an injuction against me for anti social behaviour which they had 0 evidence of their evidence was all hear say

He had the housing officer and a couple police on his side because I had made complaints about them and they were salty over this

I had a severe mental break down over this.
New neighbours moved in he got into their ears and they started making complaints about me and trying to bully me.

He told them I was homophobic and they are gay so they stupidly believed him.
Had them constantly try to set me up by winding me up, shouting at me, hitting my floor with a broom (I'm in the middle flat)

However this all changed when I got just ONE officer on my side who actually listens to me.

The neighbour above made allegations about me when I was abroad to the HA and police neither the HA or police allowed me to show them the proof before but this one officer did
I also showed him recordings the new neighbours shouting at me after claiming I shouted at them

Now both neighbours gone quiet. I know this officer said something to them to scare them bevause they no longer bother me.

I'm in the process of removing the injuction because of course the neighbour doesn't want to attend court because he has lied and will be questioned about the 32 diary entries and 2 police reports he made about my "anti social behavior" when I was in the Caribbean.

The HA have refused to reply to me about why they have done nothing to this neighbour who has made false allegations and proven to be false because they know they are wrong so basically I will be suing them soon.

The thing about liars and bullies is they get to carried away and always get found out.

You will one day prove your innocence op.

Why do you think they're behaving like this? What's in it for them?

I second speaking to a solicitor. I would also be speaking to my gp and getting it on record how this is affecting your mental wellbeing. Write letters recorded delivery to the council stating that you feel harassed. They are complicit in this- after 4 years it should be obvious that the complaints are malicious and have no basis in reality.

expat If I'd suffered YEARS of this shit, then quite frankly, if the council weren't prepared to shift the neighbours from hell, then YES, I'd bloody well move myself because it's shit living next to this for years and the OP has already stated she's suffering depression and this situation isn't going to improve, clearly. Quite why she is even considering BUYING this property next to neighbours from hell if they are as bad as she says is ludicrous. It makes no sense whatsoever to do that. Especially as if she ever wants to sell it, she'll have to advise potential purchases of all these issues and probably find it impossible to sell!

OP get CCTV with sound recording up on front and back of your house. Keep your phone always charged so you can video anything that happens away from your house. Keep a written diary if every single incident. Get a solicitor and be like a dog with a bone. The police don’t want you to press charges because neighbour disputes are a fucking nightmare for police to deal with (as well as for you to live with) but that isn’t the same as it being impossible to press charges. It’s just that they don’t want you to. (Police funding is massively stretched, fewer officers etc they’re trying to discourage reporting like yours) but report if and keep reporting it and keep a record of every single report and the police response. Same with council, report every single incident and demand this person be relocated. Keep record of their response every time. You need to build a case.

Op and you can go civil court and get an injuction under the protection from Harrassment act
You need to make a statement of truth gather statements from anyone else and recordings on disks
Logs any evidence
Print 3 of each
One for you the court and spare

You don't need a solicitor I did my case my self. If you need any help I can help you

It may be that your neighbour wants you to move out so that a friend, a council employee, can move in. This happened to my daughter who lives in Scotland.
Is it possible for you to ask them what they want or why they are upset with you? Maybe they have MH issues? They certainly have issues!
Best of luck to you.

Shatners I live in a HA property. The downstairs neighbour has threatened to kill my husband, filed false reports on us, etc etc. Still couldn't afford to live in private rented again. Yes, it depressed me and caused me untold stress, my life's been kinda shitty, but being moved every 6 months and having to find another place to live, move with an autistic child plus find all the money to do so over and over again just wasn't an option for us. It might not be for the OP, either.

I feel completely drained by it.

Every time I have ‘done the right thing’ it has shot me in the foot.

To a PP, I have no concerns about buying or selling this property, from day to day this doesn’t really bother me at all, I absolutely adore my house, the location and the ‘vibe’.

We lived in temporary accommodation before here and I lost my daughter (she was stillborn) when we moved in here I was pregnant with my son and life really started to improve, this house is my happy place.

I have no intention of selling anytime soon, we will let it probably and move abroad for a while.

I have put £10k into this house (just to make it workable for us really) we get a large reduction when we buy and even more so as we have fit our own kitchen and the bathroom is due an update. We will be able to buy for a fraction of the market value.

I have no urge to ‘just move’. I am quite happy and will be happier without the bother from the council when we cease to be tenants