To believe there is nothing I can do to change situation with neighbour

[CantankerousCamel]

A bit of background (massively reduced)
We move into council property
Neighbour moves in 2 years later
Suddenly we start getting inspections, council on our case all the time, everything we do is ‘reported back’ Mostly heavily exaggerated and ludicrous. We were reported once for having sex at 10.30pm on a Sunday night.

Anyway. This has gone on now for 4 years, when the council route proved ineffective they reported us to the police for drugs, parties, child abuse, social services, the schools, everyone you can imagine.

Around 3 years ago, the neighbours parked their vehicle on the one-laned access road that services both properties (and the others on the lane) where they shouted abuse at me while I prepared my bike to go to the gym, they then claimed I deliberated scratched them with my bike and then scratched their car. Bizarrely this matter went to court, I was given references from police, probation office (I worked there as a volunteer) and the school. I was found not guilty (of course)

Things claimed down (court case was two years ago)

Various reports apparently kept coming to the police and council. Told the police that unless they had a warrant, not to come to the house as visits were obviously spurring things on. In the end I had to put in a complaint to the council (after asking for 6 months respite to raise my just born daughter) and accused them of not allowing me my human rights to a private family life.

This seemed to work for a while, for the last few months I have been dealing with serious bipolar depression and raising my (now 10 month old) daughter and sons.

Now the council are back on my case, two phone calls last week, an email this week, telling me I’ve been having a bonfire with old kitchen cupboards (I have not, I still have them) asking me if my cooker is new as it’s ‘Making the neighbours wall hot’ telling me my children playing in the garden is ‘damaging their fence’

It’s just utter madness.

The neighbours have no life, they spend their whole existence living in the lounge room while the children are upstairs (hence why they get a bit more disturbance than normal because of course people are awake different times in the lounge) they report me for anything they can think of.

It’s really, really tiresome...

AIBU to carry on living my life? I’m not sure anything I change would be enough for them, they seem to want me to have no visitors (they complained I had visitors the day I gave birth here, the visitors were midwives) and to play music in the garden when we are out there otherwise we have our conversations listened to and repeated back to us?

I am SICK of it but beyond ignoring them (which doesn’t seem to be working) I just don’t know what else to do?!

running I have had to install CCTV which has thankfully stopped the abuse in the street to a large amount. We also moved the children into the back bedroom which is smaller but they are not harassed by the neighbours and disturbed so much better all round

I had this happen to me. You have been let down button my experience you will not get any assistance at all. Does she have any reason the police are taking her so seriously?

I would strongly suggest you get a letter from GP detailing your bi polar - arrange a meeting with the police and say that you want her harassment - historic and present - recording as a hate crime due to your vulnerability. This should make them take you seriously.

I would think very long and hard about buying a property with a problem neighbour. If you do wish to sell the dispute will all have to be disclosed and will make it very hard, and devalue your property.

We moved and it was the best thing we have every done - we lost a lot on the house but I am no longer anxious and ill all the time.

Whether you agree with right to buy or not that isn't what OP asked about, (I'm not in favour btw). OP you need to do as PPs have suggested install CCTV with audio and when you've got your evidence take it to the council.

I don't get why the council are colluding in this. And the police sound useless. I'm no expert but surely they should be interested in at least some of the things the neighbours are doing?

Speak to your MP and to a solicitor, is my best advice.

CantankerousCamel

I know you are entitled to buy your Council house but please don’t. If you are in a financial situation to move out/rent & live abroad for a few years then please do that and don’t use up precious housing resources. You have rightly benefitted from good quality social housing, when you are in a position to pass it forward, please do so rather than buying it and making the housing situation worse for others who were once in your situation and your Childrens.

Best of luck with your neighbours.

Heebie yes I have, they opened an ASBO and then closed it again. They are basically refusing to do anything and now are (really) accepting the harassment by being party to it by acting on all these complaints.

I really feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place with them. Constantly watched and observed with seemingly no change in so many years

Wondering why you chose to leave out of your thread that your neighbour is mentally unwell

Er, the neighbour ISN'T as far as the OP knows. Unless I'm misreading or failing to comprehend I’ve seen no evidence of any mental health conditions... she has a physical disability ???

little

We can’t do much without buying our home, we have been gifted a small amount for a deposit for here, we wouldn’t be able to save up for a deposit for anywhere else around here... just totally priced out despite both having good jobs

Report them to council and police for harrassment

I am surprised once this started you have not installed cameras, which do not lie.
Get some HD cameras that can see clearly and have them positioned in areas where everything can be recorded.
Also get a solicitor to send them a cease and desist letter, otherwise you will be taking them to court for a lot more than the letter.
Me thinks that hey want the house for a family/friend and this is their way to harass you out of it.
But get those cameras like yesterday.

Sorry, obvs way past that stage!

Single I’ve tried and on suggestion of the police and council but it all ended up in pen pushing and not a lot else.

This woman told her young son that speaking to my children over the fence would mean the ‘police will make them (meaning us) move’

I then of course had to explain to the kids why it’s absurd to think the police will ‘make us move’ I just don’t want it affecting the children.

OP, you haven't responded to the suggestions about legal help or your MP. Would you consider either of these?

majorie we have cameras that cover our property, but they are up the lane from us (so blocking our entrance and exit from our home if they choose) and so can cause a lot of bother ‘off camera’

Although fortunately the cameras have stopped the standing in front of our home and listening to our conversations and shouting abuse through the windows.

The police said exactly the same about the neighbours wanting the house for a friend but also that they had done the same thing to their last neighbour who had a mental breakdown because of it. This is one of the reasons I just couldn’t imagine swapping with someone, how could I do that to them?

Nikita On another thread about someone else's nightmare neighbour, Camel said this: We live next to a mentally unwell person. It’s tricky because she has children of a similar age to mine and is not as unwell as your neighbour, but still clearly struggles with boundaries and has been outright intimidating and awful to my children.

Either this is the same person or the OP has somehow managed to find herself in a terrace with unfortunate neighbours on both sides.

Darling

Legally my only route is to go to court myself and apply for an injunction which would be wholly pointless. I have to walk past their house to get out of the lane and their children go to the same school as mine. ‘Keep within X distance’ is just not workable

Solicitor.

Shatners I was being succinct and polite.

I could hardly go into great detail about my neighbours and it wouldn’t be appropriate on that thread. However the endless shouting at the kids in the garden is an issue and relative to the other thread.

Really I think anyone who speaks the way the neighbour does to children MUST have some mental health issues.

Also she has form for watching me on the school run other people on the school run call her my ‘girlfriend’ because she literally stands and watches me every moment.

She displays very worrying (Misery esque) behaviours and yes, I do believe she has some mental health problems to be as endlessly obsessive and to lie as much as she does (shouting about house extensions that will never happen and so on)

No, you allowed people to think your neighbours were just out and out appalling people rather than tell us she is mentally unwell.

Although despite what you said on the other thread, you now say you only think she MIGHT be mentally unwell.

OP, are you sure an injunction is your only route? Have you had advice?

And how about your MP?

You shouldn’t have to but if you want peace I think the only thing to do is move, or hope they do. I’m sorry you are going through this, my mum and dad had a neighbour like this for years and it is so stressful.

Are the Council and HA taking them seriously? I’d be surprised if they didn’t have their cards marked as a nuisance but they have to be seen to be taking their complaints seriously.

I had a colleague who had a neighbour like this. The daughter played a musical instrument but after the neighbour complained she stopped practicing earlier. It deteriorated and the neighbour called Environmental Health because of the noise of my colleague’s daughter getting ready in the morning. It was every little thing. My Colleague tried to appease her and asked her daughter to be quieter, get clothes out the night before so she wasn’t opening and closing wardrobe doors and drawers. In the end the Council said not to change her routine, it was just ordinary every day noise.

I think it’s pretty clear to anyone reading this that these people are not very well.

Like I said, all ^ this made no sense to the previous thread

Shatners you're completely nit-picking now and so what if the neighbour does? It doesn't minimise the impact of her behaviour.
And as to buying council houses, blame the government housing policy not the poor bastard totally priced out of all other home ownership options.

Dark from what the HO has told me, she recieves an average of 4 reports a week from them, from things like maliciously watering the garden, to bonfires, to noise after hours etc and they action very little but they do action some.