To believe there is nothing I can do to change situation with neighbour

[CantankerousCamel]

A bit of background (massively reduced)
We move into council property
Neighbour moves in 2 years later
Suddenly we start getting inspections, council on our case all the time, everything we do is ‘reported back’ Mostly heavily exaggerated and ludicrous. We were reported once for having sex at 10.30pm on a Sunday night.

Anyway. This has gone on now for 4 years, when the council route proved ineffective they reported us to the police for drugs, parties, child abuse, social services, the schools, everyone you can imagine.

Around 3 years ago, the neighbours parked their vehicle on the one-laned access road that services both properties (and the others on the lane) where they shouted abuse at me while I prepared my bike to go to the gym, they then claimed I deliberated scratched them with my bike and then scratched their car. Bizarrely this matter went to court, I was given references from police, probation office (I worked there as a volunteer) and the school. I was found not guilty (of course)

Things claimed down (court case was two years ago)

Various reports apparently kept coming to the police and council. Told the police that unless they had a warrant, not to come to the house as visits were obviously spurring things on. In the end I had to put in a complaint to the council (after asking for 6 months respite to raise my just born daughter) and accused them of not allowing me my human rights to a private family life.

This seemed to work for a while, for the last few months I have been dealing with serious bipolar depression and raising my (now 10 month old) daughter and sons.

Now the council are back on my case, two phone calls last week, an email this week, telling me I’ve been having a bonfire with old kitchen cupboards (I have not, I still have them) asking me if my cooker is new as it’s ‘Making the neighbours wall hot’ telling me my children playing in the garden is ‘damaging their fence’

It’s just utter madness.

The neighbours have no life, they spend their whole existence living in the lounge room while the children are upstairs (hence why they get a bit more disturbance than normal because of course people are awake different times in the lounge) they report me for anything they can think of.

It’s really, really tiresome...

AIBU to carry on living my life? I’m not sure anything I change would be enough for them, they seem to want me to have no visitors (they complained I had visitors the day I gave birth here, the visitors were midwives) and to play music in the garden when we are out there otherwise we have our conversations listened to and repeated back to us?

I am SICK of it but beyond ignoring them (which doesn’t seem to be working) I just don’t know what else to do?!

Op I've realised who you are from another thread we've recently both been on.

You're attitude on there was quite condescending about people you didn't consider the same as you.

I'm not saying this IS the case but is there anyway this could be calmed down by mediation because you may have rubbed them up the wrong way?

Darling my M.P. is a waste of space at the best of times. I’ve not seen anything to suggest that there is anything more than getting an injunction, it seems to be the only route thrown at me by various organisations who get involved at the neighbours behest then end up advising me on how I stop having this endless reporting

I'm not sure why people think that you can't spend money on a council house to make it liveable. When j moved into mine it took me years and a lot of money to get it to a decent standard. Bare wooden floors and half arsed plaster walls with the brick coming through, a cared back garden that was just mud and grass from the doorstep onwards. It would be east to spend 10k on a house. I would be surprised if what we spent hadn't amounted to that. 10k probably wouldn't be enough for a deposit for a house! Certainly not a house at 190k.

slutty no I’ve been more than accommodating during the mediation sessions we’ve had, in fact the neighbours refused further mediation because it doesn’t ‘go the way they want’.

Oddly enough people are different in person to online, I have literally no negative influences in my life sans these people, I live a simple life of family, friendship and kindness. None of the authorities or organisations have done anything but praise my conduct

You need to try to get a housing officer on your side. My new neighbour made complaints about me. I was unaware of it until I got access to their online system.

The garden mine backs on to has two dogs, I have one. One of their dogs growls and barks at mine. Whenever it does that, he phones the council and complains about my dog 'winding his up' and 'making noise' (breathing, my dog breathes near the fence which winds his dog up)

My housing officer visited for a routine inspection shortly after the first few complaints were logged and witnessed his dog growl at mine, mine potter over to the fence, sniff a bit and then piss on it and walk away.

When she got back to the office, he'd complained again. All his complaints about my dog are now ignored.

Incidentally, since moving approx two and half a months ago I have spent;

£110 on curtains.
£45 on nets
£80 on curtain poles
£20 on a bathroom trolley
£35 on a bathroom cupboard - the bathroom had literally no storage at all. Not even a shelf
£8 on bathroom shelves
£50 on getting a second hand shed dismantled, moved and put together
£25 on new felt for the shed roof.
£20 on locks for the shed and back gate
£40 on rubble removal - my HA doesn't remove any waste they leave behind after repairs
£490 on living room flooring
£180 on kitchen flooring
£9.99 on coat hooks
£50 ish on grass seeds - The HA removed all the grass in the back garden. IDK why they did this
£60 on a lawnmower
£50 on wheelie bins.

I still have no carpet on the stairs, no blinds in the bathroom (fortunately the window is frosted) no curtains or window coverings on the stairs or back of the kitchen, no carpet in my bedroom, no shelves or storage in the living room or any of the bedrooms and more rubble to remove from the HA's last repair.

Council housing is expensive if you want to turn it from a shell to a home.

Not

Actually when I thought about it, I think we’ve spent far more.

Paint and flooring and replacing damaged units because the council would take 3 months, mould barriers in bathrooms etc

And we are nowhere near done. The children have no flooring in their room (or any of upstairs) and the floorboards are in a poor state. Lots to be done

Frequency I believe once they’ve ‘investigated’ they put it in the ‘don’t bother again’ pile so lots of the issues reported don’t make it to me. It’s just the new issues that are reviewed, drives me mad

CantankerousCamel Thu 31-May-18 12:24:17
Pressing charges for harrassment (according to the police) is basically impossible. She has literally stood outside my house and shouted about turning up to my kids birthday party at Pizza Hut or made it clear she’s been listening in on my phone calls, she records me when I’m getting a delivery or stands outside our bedroom window while we are painting and the police and council do and have done nothing. O

Probably been suggested already, but get CCTV and recording equipment and play them at their own game.

Report them for something every time they report you, or systematically put in a report or complaint against them every week - whether the council or police seem to act on it or not. It will create even more paperwork for them that they will get sick of and might help get them moved.

OP, speak to a solicitor direct, if you haven't already.

Eliza this is what I struggle with. I just CANT be bothered with it. I want to just live my life and all this negativity... I hate it.

Most of the time I find I can just put it out of my mind but this latest round has got me down a bit because it feels like it will never change...

They just won’t let it lie, ever.

CantankerousCamel I’m sure my colleague had the noise levels monitored and it was all just normal household noise. Could you let the HA know how much stress it is causing you and push for them to do something?

I always say in cases like this to make a nuisance of yourself. Every time your neighbour disturbs or intimidates you email the council or HA, every time they report you ask for a follow up on what has been done about it. Tell them you are being harassed and you expect them to deal with it.

I don’t think the neighbour having mental health problems is the original poster’s problem either. People deserve to live in peace free from bullying and harassment, if the neighbour has mental health problems then there needs to be help and support from Social Services/Community Mental Health Team. Somebody should not be allowed to just ruin their neighbour’s life because of their mental health.

Darlington I did speak to the solicitor when we went to court, he said we could pay for an injunction but it would be pretty worthless and we would have to again make constant complaints and so on. I just want to close my eyes and it all to go away (wishful thinking I know)

Having mental health problems doesn't give people the right to abuse their neighbours everyday!

That's shite, OP. I can't believe there's nothing you can do. How do you put in a formal complaint about councils? Who do you complain to? I think I'd do that.

I know it is a hassle, and you shouldn’t have to but this neighbour has probably done the same to previous neighbours. It is easy for the HA to just dismiss it if the neighbours are prepared to suffer in silence. You need to let them know you are not.

You could ask for an email address of an individual at the Housing Association who is dealing with the case and fire off a quick email each and every time there is an incident. In the long run it will be worth it.

How about arbitration? You will have to go through stage 2 complaint with the council first though.

Now the council are back on my case, two phone calls last week, an email this week, telling me I’ve been having a bonfire with old kitchen cupboards (I have not, I still have them) asking me if my cooker is new as it’s ‘Making the neighbours wall hot’ telling me my children playing in the garden is ‘damaging their fence’

I doubt the council ‘told’ you you were doing these things. I bet they actually only said that it had been reported to them and if you weren’t doing them then there is no need to worry. I used to work for the Council in an enforcement role and it was depressingly common to have people like your neighbours on our books. We had to treat every complaint properly though.

Your neighbours sound unhinged. I feel really sorry for you.

Didn't want to read & run @CantankerousCamel but you may find this website useful re dealing with nuisance neighbours:
www.saferhouses.co.uk/your-rights-troublesome-neighbours.html

My friend & her other neighbour had a completely batshit 'neighbour in between them who 'seemed to enjoy' terrorising/harassing both of them.
In the end an injunction was taken out by friend & neighbour against 'the in between neighbour.'
Did the trick - peace & quiet all round now. The surrounding neighbours are happy too.
'Terrorising neighbour' is now up for sale. (Though it's been up for sale for a while now.)

You need to complain about the council. A previous tenant was also harassed to the point of a breakdown and now you are being targeted. They now know these complaints are vexatious and are doing nothing.
Complain about their failure to deal with the anti social behaviour of their tenants (your neighbours). They have breached their tenancy agreement with this behaviour.
You will need to take the complaint all the way to the ombudsman. Copy their chief executive into all the correspondence. Get help and advice from Shelter the housing charity to put your complaint letter together.
I have worked in housing and vexatious complaints about neighbours and harassing them is definitely a breach of tenancy for which they can be evicted.

Have you tried your local councillors? When it's related to the council you should absolutely try them before you try your local MP.

Agree with the previous poster who said you should log everything. Write down exactly what they say, the date and time of every incident, get it on camera if you can. You need the proof that they've been harassing you. They sound like an absolute nightmare.

RayRay this exactly where I’m at. I am DONE with trying to report the neighbours, they’re not going to changed its the councils behaviour I am most upset by

CantankerousCamel Thu 31-May-18 14:05:26
*Eliza this is what I struggle with. I just CANT be bothered with it. I want to just live my life and all this negativity... I hate it.

Most of the time I find I can just put it out of my mind but this latest round has got me down a bit because it feels like it will never change...

They just won’t let it lie, ever.*

Why exactly have you posted here? You have shot down every suggestion and useless and don't want to do the things that could cause this to stop.

Eliza

Sorry I don’t mean to shoot you down... I just feel like reporting them has got me nowhere... in fact it worked against me in court.

They're not going to leave you alone OP, they're going to keep going until you move out.

You either have to fight fire with fire and do some of the suggested on this thread... get CCTV and record their behaviour, then you've got some proof if you need it. Or bite the bullet and ask the council if you can house swap and accept that the money you've spent was wasted, before you end up spending more.

I find it strange that they make so many complaints to the council, and yet the council are still acting on each one. Are you sure you've done absolutely nothing to aggravate them or to cause the complaints? I apologise if not, its just that the length of time its gone on for seems to suggest that their complaints are still being taken seriously, whereas you're saying that they're totally unfounded and you've done nothing at all to deserve it.

Emmas

Yes this drives me mad too. Apparently they ‘have’ to inspect every complaint.