Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if it's really true that all men watch porn?

97 replies

thetherapy · 30/05/2018 21:27

Can I ask MN, do your DHs or DPs admit to watching porn and is it a problem for you if so?

My DH admits to sometimes watching it when he's away on business, though he says he's only really into the women on women stuff. The issue I have is that when you go on the site, the lesbian / women on women stuff is there yes, but it's alongside other "genres" such as incest porn with a lot of more disturbing stuff literally in your face, plus adverts flashing all over the place for prostitutes etc. I'm not sure how some of the videos are actually legal - e.g. one hour long films depicting dads grooming their supposed teenage daughters. I'm absolutely horrified to be honest at some of it. AIBU to think that when men say that "all men watch porn" this is just an excuse to normalise it? Do all men really watch it? Also how realistic is it that they will really be avoiding the violent / sadistic subjects (ie most of it)?

OP posts:
truma · 30/05/2018 21:32

As long as it's "normal" porn and no funny business I couldn't care less

truma · 30/05/2018 21:33

Obviously the incest/ grooming stuff I would deem as NOT

athingthateveryoneneeds · 30/05/2018 21:36

Porn is a plague on our society. Most of the women involved in those videos are abused, little different from slaves. I would be horrified if my DH watched it and supported the wholesale degradation of womankind. No. Not acceptable to.me in the slightest.

YetAnotherUser · 30/05/2018 21:37

I'm a man, I used to watch it sometimes in my younger days (early 20's) but these days (mid 30's) I have no interest in it.

Prefer the real thing, elusive though it may be 😂😂

Original poster
thetherapy · 30/05/2018 21:37

The issue I have is that the incest /grooming videos are literally playing out on loop as you navigate the site for the so-called "normal" stuff. I'm not sure how this is legal and it must be highly triggering for a lot of people. How do the sites get away with it and what the hell are the "actors" thinking when they make these films?

OP posts:
CopONNotLinkedIn · 30/05/2018 21:40

I hate this idea that ''it is NORMAL"" you must accept it, ALL men do it, if you react to this it's an OVER reaction.

It's all men men men and what they want and how they indulge themselves at women's expense.

What about women!? when do we say ''that is a turn off. you do that, you turn me OFF, so we do not have a sexual /romantic relationship''.

Honestly, if my bf (if I had one) just took a crap on the sitting room floor but argued it was natural, I'd get turned off. Deep down I felt the same when my x viewed a lot of porn. I just felt confused, that I wasn't entitled to my reaction. But I was.

Dahlietta · 30/05/2018 21:41

To answer your question, all men do not watch porn, no.

Petalflowers · 30/05/2018 21:42

I don’t think all men watch porn.

I was never aware of it growing up, and we don’t have it at home now.

SleepFreeZone · 30/05/2018 21:42

Nope my DP has no interest in it but he admits himself that his sex drive is on the low side.

MrsDylanBlue · 30/05/2018 21:42

You will get 5 million “feminists” debating this on this thread until kingdom come.

Yes my OH does and so do I.

He’s away a lot.

MissCherryCakeyBun · 30/05/2018 21:42

I have no issue with standard porn..we watch it together and I watch lesbian porn on my own too. As long as you are aware of the issues involved and take the time to find non explorative porn I don't see the issue.

Sex in all it's various forms colours shapes and sizes as long as it's between consenting adults and if the porn is created by consenting adults there are no issues and if you don't like it you are not forced to watch it.

If you feel strongly there are various charity organisations that will welcome donations and support to help them with human trafficking and helping support Jose caught up in its awful trade

Anaiis · 30/05/2018 21:43

It's become completely normalised. I used to think naively it was no big deal. However I now see it differently. I fear that the early sexualisation of children (by exposure to porn, which is so easily available now) is a growing problem. The development of technology has made everything too accessible.

Original poster
thetherapy · 30/05/2018 21:45

I totally agree Cop and I wonder if the normalising of porn as "it's nothing", "it's life", "any man who says he doesn't watch it is lying", or, "women watch it too, you know", is just the latest misogynistic attempt at brainwashing, courtesy of the internet.

OP posts:
Anerak · 30/05/2018 21:48

I have a male friend who doesn't - it does nothing for him. He is the only male I know for sure doesn't

BettyBeer · 30/05/2018 21:48

My DP most definitely doesn't. He has no interest in it and I am 100% sure of this.

I hate that my DDs will mostly be having relationships with young men who have watched really disturbing stuff though, do you know how many young girls are going to sexual health clinics with injuries to their anus? They think it's normal to do this because of porn.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 30/05/2018 21:50

I don't think my husband does, but would rather not know so won't ask... Dunno when he would do it, to be honest. He's much more likely to be ogling shirts, shoes, jackets, music (may out me!)

Thehop · 30/05/2018 21:51

My DH doesn’t like it, I do.

siwel123 · 30/05/2018 21:52

No not all men.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/05/2018 21:52

DH does, me less of a fan. DH watching it doesn’t bother me.

Original poster
thetherapy · 30/05/2018 21:53

Betty - yes anal sex is presented as something to be expected - totally normal. I have 2 young teens and I despair at the impact on children's minds of this kind of stuff. It's terrifying. It's easier to watch porn than to join Amazon or MN - no registration or passwords required.

OP posts:
Echobelly · 30/05/2018 22:13

I think a lot of men, but not all. DH watches it sometimes and he's always been open about it with me. Not interested in watching it myself, but I don't mind him doing so. I think there must be something viscerally arousing about it for him, as I know he doesn't like the typical porn body type and says he finds the women's 'aroused' faces to be silly and fake (NB, he wouldn't just be saying this to reassure me, he knows I don't see porn actresses as competition!)

I do think DH underestimates the difference between the porn he grew up with and what kids see now, though. When we've discussed the problem of porn today he tends to downplay it, but I don't think he realises a) how much younger kids are seeing it and b) how much more extreme it is. None of this means we won't talk to the kids about it, but I do think he thinks people are panicking too much, but I think people are right to be concerned.

Voice0fReason · 30/05/2018 22:53

I think that almost all men have watched it at some point but only some watch it routinely.
The 'incest' porn is so obviously not incest. People think that is real as much as they think the man who's come to fix the washing machine is a real plumber.
The normalisation of porn sex is a real concern for teenagers and young people.

Lazypuppy · 30/05/2018 22:55

My partner does, no problem for me

Grasslands · 30/05/2018 22:57

fightthenewdrug.org/kansas-city-royals-and-fight-the-new-drug/

no not all do, and this major league sports team is talking about the harm it does

NameChangedForThisQ · 30/05/2018 22:58

The worrying thing is that so many men must find incest arousing.. Supply and demand and all that. Like seriously wtf

Swipe left for the next trending thread