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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Matching names with half siblings!

111 replies

BillieElectric · 30/05/2018 21:12

I am pregnant with my first child with OH. However OH has 2 sons and a daughter with his ex wife. All three children’s names start with the same letter.
Since we have been discussing names OH has made it quite clear that he thinks we should keep this theme. However I see it as something that he and his ex wife did. He on the other hand thinks:
A) the baby will feel left out when it grows up and it will separate it as a half sibling.
B) his other children will view the baby as the start of a new separate family as it won’t have the same initials as them.
AIBU in wanting to give my baby a name that doesn’t start with the same letter or should I be trying to think of names with that letter?

OP posts:
PurpleTigerLove · 30/05/2018 23:42

Your baby isn’t a full sibling so may feel left out on occasion. Having the same letter won’t change that . Choose a name you love .

UrgentScurryfunge · 30/05/2018 23:58

Years ago I remember a phone call from a confused parent who had revieved an appointment for his DC "J Smith". He didn't know which of the 3 J Smiths as they were all under the same consultant. It took a bit of digging through the system to identify which DC it was for. We then invented a middle initial for each child to prevent yet another occurence of the problem.

It put me off matching initials!
Time for a fresh start!

I knew a family where the parents had the same initial then matched the DCs initials so they all matched. They were a bit of a corporate kind of family anyway Hmm

TarragonChicken · 31/05/2018 00:08

Different. All the same letter is so tacky.

tiddliewinkiewoo · 31/05/2018 00:13

Sorry OP but I agree with most - siblings with the same initial comes across as quite 'tacky'

And I certainly wouldn't be carrying on my partners 'tradition' with his ex-wife of naming the children with said initials.

I'd be say while I respect (when I dont) his and ex-wife's decision to keep the same initial, this is a new chapter and not something I agree with so basically no :)

brizzledrizzle · 31/05/2018 00:18

Maybe compromise and have a middle name starting with that initial?
I wouldn't agree to the first name starting with the same name unless there happened to be one that I really liked.

happinessischocolate · 31/05/2018 00:52

Look it could be worse, my father failed to mention to my mum that he already had a daughter with the same name as me. Therefore, he now has 2 dc with the exact same name

My birth mother gave her 2nd daughter (who she kept) the same name she gave me,

madamginger · 31/05/2018 00:59

My mum and her brother have the male and female version of the same name Hmm
They aren’t twins either.

RideOn · 31/05/2018 01:23

No pick a different letter, unless you both totally love a name with same letter and can't help but pick it.
YANBU

liminality · 31/05/2018 01:28

Middle name. Same as siblings.

Original first name.

Original poster
BillieElectric · 31/05/2018 06:19

Thank you all. Having probed further I am sure it’s more to do with keeping the older 3 happy then actually carrying on any type of traditions Hmm

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 31/05/2018 06:19

I'd say different letter if you are planning on having more than one child.

I do have a friend who is upset as he is the only child of his father who has a different initial to his sibling and (many) half siblings.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 31/05/2018 06:44

This naming thing makes me cringe. Even the Rooneys have cottoned on to how naff it is. His other DC more likely to be relieved when older if this "tradition" is broken.

Mirrorwriting · 31/05/2018 07:17

happinessischocolate Flowers your birth mum has issues and don’t take it personally.

That made me think of George Foreman with like 5 kids called George Foreman. Wtf.

Mosschopz · 31/05/2018 07:24

I’d be calling the whole thing off, personally. Any fashion started by the Kardashians is a big alarm bell IMO. Tell him you’ll be starting a new letter and you’re children will be called Kayley, Kylie, Keeley etc and his next wife can have ‘L’...only fair and only gets difficult once you get down to ‘X’... Grin

Mosschopz · 31/05/2018 07:25

*Your

OneStepSideways · 31/05/2018 07:47

This is the norm in many cultures. The idea is the children feel connected to their siblings by their name and part of a bigger family. If there are names you'd like beginning with that letter I'd try to keep the tradition, as it's for them not you. The concept of giving children non-matching names is a Western one and considered bizarre in much of the non western world. I've often wished my name was similar to my sisters' names as we're the odd ones out in the extended family!
(By matching I don't mean rhyming, just beginning with the same letter or containing similar sounds).

Furano · 31/05/2018 07:51

Years ago I knew a family - Sophie married Simon Smith. They they named their four children with first names beginning with S.

Everyone in the family was S. Smith.

Cringe.

OneStepSideways · 31/05/2018 07:52

initial-themed naming is the height of naffness. You do not have to perpetuate this cringey tradition

It's not naff or cringey, just non Western! It's the norm throughout much of the ME and Asia. My extended family think it very strange that my sisters and I have names beginning with different letters! They always joke that our parents couldn't agree on our names.

happinessischocolate · 31/05/2018 08:58

Thanks mirrorwriting, yes I agree which is why I haven't spoken to her in 10 years, one of the many bizarre things she had done.

Beamur · 31/05/2018 13:33

Do the older children want the new baby to follow this tradition then? If so, that's actually quite sweet.

Hissy · 31/05/2018 13:46

I knew someone who named all his DS with his first wife after players of a particular football team. Clearly at the time the kid was born, all of their namesakes eventually got transfers etc.

I don't know who was more idiotic tbh. He himself, his first ex wife, or perhaps it was the SECOND wife who agreed to follow the same format!

No fucking way would I have ever agreed to this initially or subsequently.

Just tell your H no.

Original poster
BillieElectric · 31/05/2018 16:41

Beamur older brother and sister don’t care and the the younger one is too young to care. They are pleased about the baby though.

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 31/05/2018 17:02

Call the child what you want. If it happens to have start with the same letter then fine but when they are an adult if they live with their half-siblings (and it can happen) they won't thank you for it.

Incidentally I told my DP as we aren't married I have the choice over names. He pointed out the issue of having similar sounding names even if the first initial were different, which was then played out on the park in front of us with two sisters a few weeks later.

SandyY2K · 31/05/2018 18:39

I don't see the harm I this with regards to his previous marriage and kids...I know a few families that do this. However you don't need to be a part of it with your child. That was their thing.

My DHs family have an alphabetical tradition with names. They're are 8 of them... with names from A to H.

Sitranced · 31/05/2018 18:58

Different letter.

My siblings, half sibling and I all have the same initial and we all hated it. It's twee and rubbish whether you're a full or half relation.