Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Matching names with half siblings!

111 replies

BillieElectric · 30/05/2018 21:12

I am pregnant with my first child with OH. However OH has 2 sons and a daughter with his ex wife. All three children’s names start with the same letter.
Since we have been discussing names OH has made it quite clear that he thinks we should keep this theme. However I see it as something that he and his ex wife did. He on the other hand thinks:
A) the baby will feel left out when it grows up and it will separate it as a half sibling.
B) his other children will view the baby as the start of a new separate family as it won’t have the same initials as them.
AIBU in wanting to give my baby a name that doesn’t start with the same letter or should I be trying to think of names with that letter?

OP posts:
R2G · 30/05/2018 21:31

Omg Wallis!!

Original poster
BillieElectric · 30/05/2018 21:32

Wallis Shock

OP posts:
AmazingPostVoices · 30/05/2018 21:32

What now wallis???

No one in his family mentioned it either?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 30/05/2018 21:33

That was a tradition him and his ex had, it's not something i'd wanna do.

RoseMartha · 30/05/2018 21:34

Different unless there is a name you really want with same letter

laptopdisaster · 30/05/2018 21:34

Naff as hell. different letter.

CopONNotLinkedIn · 30/05/2018 21:36

definitely a different initial!

Won't their surname link them!?

wallisFrizz words fail me. I remember reading in Hello (at the hairdressers!) that that dragons den guy, cannot remember his name, Duncan banantyne or was it Peter JOnes hmm. had an Annabel with one wife and an Isabel with the other wife. I thought it showed a lack of consideration/responsibility or connection to the past, and to reality!

pallisers · 30/05/2018 21:37

Wallis!!

Different letter. Same letter is naff as hell anyway but continuing with children of different women is naff plus weird.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 30/05/2018 21:37

Different initial.

I think it's beyond daft to have kids with same initial... Must be fun... Yes I'm writing to you J. SMITH....

purpleme12 · 30/05/2018 21:38

Yep agree with everyone different letter. Don't think the children will really be bothered about this, can't see it anyway.
What makes people left out is how the family treat them not the letter of the name.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/05/2018 21:41

Wallis that’s shocking. I’ve read of it happening before on here. The father going off and having a new set of children with the same name as the old ones. Children version 2.0.

This is really a difficult one Billie. There’s no right or wrong answer. Do you get on well with the children? Perhaps have a chat with them about it? You could always have an official name with a different letter and choose a nickname starting with the same letter as the baby’s siblings.

Shampooeeee · 30/05/2018 21:41

Different letter.
It would be weird to continue their tradition.
It’s a bit like he’s the patriarch of a large, complicated family and his wives don’t get to make decisions.
Just no.

Beamur · 30/05/2018 21:42

Wallis. Ouch. I have a sister who has only recently been told I exist. Why do parents think these kinds of lies won't catch them up eventually?
I'm not sure about the initial thing really. I know of a few families who do this, it's not my taste but it would be so rude to say anything - I'd tread very gently regarding critisincing your OH on this themed naming.
I think it is a good thing for half siblings to share surnames though.

SuperDandy · 30/05/2018 21:46

I know someone who in their second marriage ended up with two boys with the same age and name, and two girls with the same age and name.

They manage, but it does attract comments as you can imagine. I think one of the boygirl pairs kept their surname from before the second marriage, so at least the school they all attended didn't get into a complete pickle about who was who.

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 30/05/2018 21:46

From a practical point of view it is quite short-sighted to give all your kids names with the same initial as there can be confusion when they're older eg. I have 3 DDs and sometimes a letter comes for "Miss X Osmond" which would be awkward if X were the initial of all 3 of them!

DailyMailFail101 · 30/05/2018 21:48

Definitely pick a different letter, would sombody be upset about having their name start with a different letter when they are older?

MrsDylanBlue · 30/05/2018 21:50

I sort of accidentally had two children whose names began with “I” my third child had a different dad and I couldn’t have thought of anything worse than choosing a third “I”. I did chose a name that was equally “quirky” at the time though,

SeaEagleFeather · 30/05/2018 21:50

^A) the baby will feel left out when it grows up and it will separate it as a half sibling.
B) his other children will view the baby as the start of a new separate family as it won’t have the same initials as them^

A - your partner is being silly, how they are treated as they grow up will make the baby feel left out or not.
B - well yes, it -is- a new family.

He needs a bit of sense!

WallisFrizz · 30/05/2018 21:51

My other sibling was a so called skeleton in the closet. I have no relationship with either, though I would have liked to have met sibling.

OP call your Dc whatever feels right for you.

SuperDandy · 30/05/2018 21:51

Also agree that different initials are handy. My sibling once got all my wages for a summer job because the bank didn't realise we'd ere not the same person. Idiots, and totally their fault, but still, would be less likely to happen with different initials.

Actually, now I come to think of it, another sibling managed to pay in my (larger) grant cheque in place of their own as well, so it can definitely cause hassle.

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 30/05/2018 21:54

Very good example of what I meant SuperDandy

tolerable · 30/05/2018 21:57

awkward..can see your oh predicament sort of...he doesnt want to "seperate" his kids...thing is..its your baby. choose a name you like.if it staarts with same letter,fine.if it doesnt..also fine .Presumeably the kids already have his surname?/baby will? tell him to focus on that n shoosht. Presumeably you have relationship with these kids too?..there are plenty ways to include them and have them feel like a special part of your lives too.

ToPlanZ · 30/05/2018 21:57

YANBU while I understand his points, bringing that from his previous marriage would not sit well with me.

OMG Wallis! Although I know of someone with 7 boys, all full siblings and 2 of them are called Michael.

LegallyBrunet · 30/05/2018 21:58

My OH is a twin. He has a twin sister with the same initial (unintentional apparently). He nearly didn’t get his student finance because the student finance company mixed him and his twin up.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 30/05/2018 21:58

Kardashians and Rooneys! Choose a name you like (maybe have that initial as a middle name as a gesture / compromise)