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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel my smear test today - do you go for yours?

266 replies

Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 09:02

I feel panicky and sweaty with fear at the thought. I have two days of hospital appointments this week and just don't think I can face another one today. It was due at the start of the year, so thinking about rescheduling in a couple of months.

I do have vaginismus which means penetration really fucking hurts unless I'm aroused and enthusiastic, which obviously is the complete opposite of feelings you have during a smear.

Do you go for yours bang on when it's due? Is it pathetic of me to cancel?

OP posts:
AugustIsMyName · 30/05/2018 10:33

@Stephisaur what a strange suggestion Confused

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2018 10:34

Hope it goes well op.

This is moot now, but it’s a totally valid choice to not go for smears. Do it because you’ve calmly weighed up the pros and cons though, not because of fear. I don’t go because my risk is so low.

Babyroobs · 30/05/2018 10:34

I haven't been for one for some years although I know I should. I am a cancer nurse so I absolutely understand the importance and have seen a lot of women die from cervical cancer. I don't think of myself at risk for some reason although I know this is stupid.

MrsJayy · 30/05/2018 10:36

Hope it goes ok

YearOfYouRemember · 30/05/2018 10:36

Well done and good luck.

LagunaBubbles · 30/05/2018 10:37

Good luck

QueenOfMyWorld · 30/05/2018 10:39

I actually went to the gp to ask when mine was due the other day as I know how important it is.I hate having it done and find it painful but what could happen if you don't go isn't worth it

Stephisaur · 30/05/2018 10:40

@augustismyname I just thought it might make the insertion easier? It's not really that much different to me looking away when they put the needle in to take my bloods. It's a way of making an unpleasant experience more bearable.

User12879923378 · 30/05/2018 10:43

I hate them too. My first one was done very insensitively and I really struggle with them but I still get them done. The nurse at my clinic is lovely and goes at my pace. You're not going to feel any better about it in 2 months time. I'd just call this your week of horrible hospital appointments and get it over with. I do understand though.

user7469322 · 30/05/2018 10:44

I have this condition too so I can completely relate to how your feeling emotionally. Please update with how it went.

3333hh44 · 30/05/2018 10:45

Do some deep breathing and concentrate on different parts of your body and tense them and then consciously make them relax. When it's actually being done concentrate on relaxing your shoulders over and over again. Practice now you are on the tube feeling your muscles relax.
Well done. You will be so proud of yourself after.

User12879923378 · 30/05/2018 10:45

Sorry, I see you're on your way! Well done and good luck.

Canwejustrelaxnow · 30/05/2018 10:49

Great approach. Just agree with nurse that you will say stop if it's too much and she is to stop straight away. Buy a couple of mini wines en route and off you go!

alwaysthepessimist · 30/05/2018 10:52

don't cancel, please go and explain to the nurse, they will help relax you and they can use different speculums, I have a tilted cervix and they use a short one for me which makes it much more bearable.

I had a positive test age 19 - way before the days where they changed the age to 25 (which is fecking ridiculous imo) - going for regular smears really does save your life.

Pinkroses18 · 30/05/2018 10:54

I agree with PeakPants.

You can order it here for £48
onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/hpv-test.html

I have never had one due to social & general aniexty and have rationalised it due to only having one sex partner. This thread has made me realise the importance of it and I have no issue doing a urine test to avoid the discomfort of a Pap smear and not flare my aniexty.

HunterofStars · 30/05/2018 10:56

Please don't cancel. I didn't want to go for a smear test this year due to previous traumatic experience but I discovered that my auntie had cervical cancer and sadly died from it so I'd rather put myself through the embarrassment of having a smear test than have cancer.

You could have a chat with the nurse beforehand, they can do all sorts. My GP surgery allow a female chaperone in the room, this can be a GP or a practice nurse. It might be worth asking. This time my GP has prescribed me diazepam for me to take beforehand.

Please treat yourself and be kind to yourself afterwards. Flowers

LunaTrap · 30/05/2018 10:59

Another one agreeing with Peakpants. A HPV test would let you know if a smear was needed. The NHS are now transitioning to primary screening where they test the smear sample for HPV and if it is negative they do no further screening so a smear may not even be necessary. (I'm in a pilot area already testing this way).

phescreening.blog.gov.uk/2017/06/14/what-gps-need-to-know-about-the-introduction-of-primary-hpv-testing-in-cervical-screening/

birdonawire1 · 30/05/2018 11:06

Ask if you can have some gas and air before the test is done. It’s short acting and great for sending you into a dazed state!

Don’t put it off. It will only loom over you even more.

notacooldad · 30/05/2018 11:14

Those that are saying they won't go because they are low risk please be aware of my mums expierence.

She was very low risk. Only one sex partner, under 35, not on the pill or any medication, non smoker, healthy lifestyle.
She started bleeding and wasn't examined for cancer for many months as it never occurred to anyone it was an issue. The cancer spread. My mum is survivor of cancer but has has had years of radiation treatment and surgery as the cancer took hold. It was horrific to watch and support years of suffering. My lovey mum is in her 70s now but had decades of hell through cervical cancer.

I've never talked to anyone about this but only mentioning it because for most people it is a few minutes of embarrassment and slight discomfort for long term gain. I know the OP is struggling but she can hopefully be supported and helped.

Low risk is not the same as no risk.

I get people will still say that won't go and that is fine. I just thought I would share our famlies expierence.

Original poster
Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 11:15

Well, the nurse couldn't see what she was trying to see. Tried a virgin speculum and then the next size up. She's asked her colleague to see me.

I told her I had vaginismus, she didn't say anything so I asked her if she was familiar with it. She said "is that where it gets all swollen and inflamed". Hmm

Waiting to see other nurse now. Ffs I hate this.

OP posts:
Sprogletsmuvva · 30/05/2018 11:17

Purpledaisies. I’m with you on the risk. Risk of CC is a personal thing, down to that individual ‘s sexual history, smoking history and immune state (and probably a couple of other things). I score low on all of them, and would no more expect to be lectured on my resultant choice not to do a smear test, than I would tell a random stranger that the Pill will give them blood clots on the basis that that’s something I’m at risk for.

Oh, and the one time I had a smear test (condition of doing fert treatment) it gave me cervical stenosis. Which was fun & games when it came to labour. So long as there’s a chance of me having another DC, I’d rather not risk exacerbating it.

(Oh, and that’s leaving aside, yes, the pain and the sheer couldn’t-give-a-toss-ness disorganisation of the sexual health clinic.)

Bowlofbabelfish · 30/05/2018 11:18

Sigh. You’re doing great. Hopefully nurse #2 will have a slightly better grasp of gynaecology. Hang on in there!

pigmcpigface · 30/05/2018 11:18

You are being so brave! Sorry your nurse is shit. I hope you get a better person in to help soon. Hang in there, you are doing REALLY well.

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2018 11:19

Sorry to hear about your mum not. What happened was totally wrong-as soon as she was bleeding that should have been investigated properly. Flowers

Moonkissedlegs · 30/05/2018 11:19

We are all here with you wheres xxx

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