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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel my smear test today - do you go for yours?

266 replies

Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 09:02

I feel panicky and sweaty with fear at the thought. I have two days of hospital appointments this week and just don't think I can face another one today. It was due at the start of the year, so thinking about rescheduling in a couple of months.

I do have vaginismus which means penetration really fucking hurts unless I'm aroused and enthusiastic, which obviously is the complete opposite of feelings you have during a smear.

Do you go for yours bang on when it's due? Is it pathetic of me to cancel?

OP posts:
loopylass13 · 30/05/2018 09:14

I am about 4 years over due - I have had one but I am in no rush to get another one. I know this is not what you want to hear or what others are advising but I think do what you feel is best for you. I know I take a risk but I am ok with that. A few weeks/months of waiting might make you feel better x

Chocolatecake12 · 30/05/2018 09:15

You will feel better once it’s over for another 3 years rather than having it looming as a future appointment.
Go to the appointment. Explain to the nurse how you’re feeling and like pp said there might be something they can do to make it easier for you.
And treat yourself afterwards. You are a strong brave women - believe you can do this and you deserve to have your treat!

BuntyII · 30/05/2018 09:15

Go and get it over with, you're setting yourself up for months of further anxiety if you don't. Be strong.

Ishouldntbesolucky · 30/05/2018 09:16

I have a friend who has recently been diagnosed with cervical cancer. Please go for your smear.

NotAnotherUserName5 · 30/05/2018 09:17

I do always go. Book it as soon as I get the letter, for as soon as possible.
Had mine this week too-hate then, but it's 5 minutes of your life. Don't cancel Flowers

NotAnotherUserName5 · 30/05/2018 09:18

I also booked the dentist for the same day-it's good to get all of the crappy things like that done in one day

Aragog · 30/05/2018 09:18

I went for mine yesterday. Always feel a bit nervous beforehand. I was also having blood tests so did them first. In reality the smear test was done very quickly and wasn't painful or even uncomfortable at all. My blood test was definitely the more uncomfortable procedure of the two. I wore a maxi dress to give myself a little more coverage which helped me feel a bit better about it all.

Don't cancel. They're important.

Moonkissedlegs · 30/05/2018 09:18

You can do this. Speak to the nurse, tell her about the vaginismus and your anxieties, and then think about what you will treat yourself to when it is done.

Don't cancel.

Bluetic · 30/05/2018 09:18

Not pathetic but you really should go. You're already 6 months behind. If you cancel this one you're just paving the way to cancel again. Bite the bullet and just go.

Like others have said, the fallout of potential cervical cancer would be horrendous.

Big girl pants on and off you go. We're all behind you Smile

MidLifeCrisis2017 · 30/05/2018 09:19

Didn't have one between birth of two kids two years apart. Got around to it when youngest was six months old. Straight into hospital, grade 3 CIN, cone biopsy and annual smears for five years. Don't take risks with your health.

NambiBambi · 30/05/2018 09:19

If you cancel now you will have it hanging over you and you will have to go through all this again further down the line. Go today and by this evening it will be over for another two years.

It's horrible but it really is essential. I once had to have mine redone as the surgery/hospital lost the test. I was pretty annoyed as obviously I hate it but I met up with a friend a few weeks later whose very close childhood friend had just been diagnosed with cervical cancer. Eventually she died leaving three year old twins and a DH. It put it all into perspective for me and now I just get on with it even though it's grim. Another friend of mine had pre-cancerous cells found. Please don't skip it.

Canwejustrelaxnow · 30/05/2018 09:19

Focus on how you will feel after the appointment. Sheer relief for another 3 years. Get it over with so you don't need to carry the worry around. Next time get some drugs. Could you have a double brandy before you go in? Whatever it takes!

HollyBollyBooBoo · 30/05/2018 09:20

Gotta be better than cancer and potential death though?

Come on, suck it up and crack on.

Loonoon · 30/05/2018 09:21

I hate them ever since a total bitch GP was rough and made me bleed. Since then I have been to nurses who are much gentler. Do go OP. Smears and mammograms are not fun but we are lucky to have a healthcare system that provides them and they are both better than cancer treatments.

Wolfiefan · 30/05/2018 09:22

Some horrible responses here. Can you delay and get a sedative?

Original poster
Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 09:22

I'm happy for the people who don't have pain during it, but that's not me. I couldn't have penetrative sex at all for years because my vaginismus was so bad, despite desperately wanting to!

I just feel like I need to point out that the pain is real and severe and it's really not just a matter of relaxing and getting into the right mindset. Yeah maybe the pain is worth the payoff but it doesn't help to pretend if I just put my big girl pants on and be sensible, it will be ok.

OP posts:
smithsinarazz · 30/05/2018 09:22

Really feel for you lovey. Sounds horrible. You need to tell the nurse about your problem and get them to treat you accordingly. (I had to get a breast lump checked out at a time when I was excruciatingly ashamed of my body. I cried buckets. And it didn't even hurt.) xx

ChipInTheSugar · 30/05/2018 09:22

A close friend of mine has vaginismus and vulvodynia so I can understand your dilemma. I think I would go today to talk to the nurse, ask if she's done smears on other women with this issue and how she approached it. If you're happy with her answers/experience, I'd get a sedative (or two!) and rebook. If not, are there any other clinics (GUM maybe?) who would be more sympathetic and used to dealing with it that you could go to?

Are you having any treatment for it? There are some specialised clinics who offer therapy (and dilators 😳) which may help you.

I feel for you - I know how much it is affecting my friend's life and how much pain it causes. I think some people think it means you're "just a bit tight/dry" and don't realise the extent of debilitation it can cause Thanks

fanominon · 30/05/2018 09:22

We all get it. Smears are shit, and any excuse to cancel is a lovely idea: and that's without the extra issues you've got.

BUT, as pp said, reframe it in your head - 5 (max?) minutes of hideousness, and you've got YEARS before you need to do it again. Decide on a lovely treat for afterwards: coffee/chocolate/book and 15 mins piece in the garden? A lovely walk by the river? Hunting for bargains in the lovely charity shop on the way back from the doctors? Focus on that, and get through the rubbish to enjoy the other side.

3333hh44 · 30/05/2018 09:23

I had cervical cancer that was caught by a smear test. After a hysterectomy, I didn't need chemo because it was caught so early. I feel so lucky that I went for my smear when I did...

TheShapeOfEwe · 30/05/2018 09:23

You aren't pathetic at all to hate it - but please don't cancel. Your health is so important and they can truly make the difference between life and death when it comes to detecting early cancer signs. I don't want to minimise your pain at all, but you could be saving yourself from a great deal more pain in the future.

JuliaRobbers · 30/05/2018 09:24

It's understandably difficult when you have vaginismus. Do explain it to the doc/nurse. It won't be fun but it will be over in minutes. And rescheduling will not make it any easier.

If you are not driving, will a glass of wine beforehand make it easy? And if you are then maybe a paracetamol or ibuprofen?

Please don't consider rescheduling as an option at all.

purplelass · 30/05/2018 09:24

Please go, just think how much better you'll feel this time tomorrow and when you get that letter saying you don't have to do it again for another 3 years.

Also, try seeing a hypnotherapist who will be able to give you techniques to help you relax and cope with the next one.

pigmcpigface · 30/05/2018 09:24

I think you need to ensure that you have pain relief or a relaxant to help you out here. I would cancel the appointment but book one to see your GP and ensure that you have maximum help to get you through the smear. A delay of a couple of weeks isn't going to hurt. And if you have a positive and less painful experience this time, that will help for the future, right?

Chewbecca · 30/05/2018 09:25

No one has said they don't have pain, they are just saying it is worthwhile putting up with the pain, the benefits do outweigh the pain.

Do you take painkillers before you go? Why not give that a try?

If you cancel, you're only postponing the pain.