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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel my smear test today - do you go for yours?

266 replies

Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 09:02

I feel panicky and sweaty with fear at the thought. I have two days of hospital appointments this week and just don't think I can face another one today. It was due at the start of the year, so thinking about rescheduling in a couple of months.

I do have vaginismus which means penetration really fucking hurts unless I'm aroused and enthusiastic, which obviously is the complete opposite of feelings you have during a smear.

Do you go for yours bang on when it's due? Is it pathetic of me to cancel?

OP posts:
yoyococo · 30/05/2018 09:45

I tell you what, you go and have a root filling for me and I will go for your smear. I am petrified. Seriously though you must go, it will be over in two minutes and you will be so relieved. I look at it as one of those things that I can't get out of. Good luck.

CurbsideProphet · 30/05/2018 09:46

I have a titled cervix and find the speculum agony, especially if the nurse doesn't do smears very often. Perhaps it might be better to see if you have a family planning clinic in your area, as often they will do smears. They spend all day dealing with vaginas and will have more experience with the range of difficulties that women have.

Scribblegirl · 30/05/2018 09:48

Please do go. I had CIN2 last year come up on my smear test at the age of 28, it’s very likely that if I hadn’t gone I wouldn’t have seen 40. Treatment wasn’t fun but a year later I’ve been given a clean bill of health and it’s given me a real sense of perspective about these things.

AugustIsMyName · 30/05/2018 09:51

I skipped my smear test for two years. I lived in Scotland so should've had it when I was 21. I figured that in England they don't bother until women are 25 so it wasn't really a big deal. Finally went at 23. Had severe changes and needed surgery to remove a significant amount of my cervix. Now pregnant and have a huge stitch in my cervix just so I won't have a miscarriage or go in to early labour. If I'd have gone for the test I would probably not have needed this. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm giving you a real life experience that I had to go through. I'd postpone but please don't cancel.

PeakPants · 30/05/2018 09:51

If you go private, could you have a test for the HPV virus instead? That way, you will know whether you also need a smear test. There is relatively little point in doing a smear on someone who does not have the cancer-strain of HPV because that is what causes the cancer. I don't think calling the OP "pathetic" is the best either. Smear tests can detect abnormalities, but they aren't the life-savers they are often made out to be.

www.nursingtimes.net/urine-check-for-hpv-recommended-as-alternative-to-smear-test/5074880.article

greathat · 30/05/2018 09:52

Don't cancel, then you will cancel the next one. There will always be an excuse. Accept that it will hurt but that the pain won't last and it will be worth it

ProperLavs · 30/05/2018 09:53

I must go, thanks for prompting me. I haven't been for years- thats terrible. I have a tittle cervix and it hurts and I have had some shockingly badly done smears in the past.

hackmum · 30/05/2018 09:54

This is one of those threads that make me despair of humanity. Did any of the people berating the OP actually read what she wrote? That she suffers from vaginismus, which makes having a smear test unbearably painful, rather than just slightly painful as it is for most women? I mean, what is it that you don't understand?

I think, OP, that the only thing to do is phone them beforehand and talk through the problem and see what they can offer you in terms of pain relief or sedatives. Vaginismus is common enough that they should have seen this problem before and have found a way of dealing with it. Flowers

Dragongirl10 · 30/05/2018 09:55

Op l find smears horribly painful so do understand.

What l find helps me is to take as much pain relief as possible,
then to really focus HARD on the fact that, in many countries women have no option to catch them early, and think on how privileged we are in the UK.

Really concentrate on how LUCKY we are to have such early screening for a few short minutes of pain.

When having it start counting down from 100 and breathing really slowly, focus hard on the counting and breathing.

Please don't cancel. Good luck

notacooldad · 30/05/2018 10:03

Of course it's an unpleasant thing to go through and in your case a painful process but I urge you to go. Tell the HCP your concerns, take what ever you need to get through whether it is a paracetamol or a glass of wine, practise some mindfulness or whatever but please go.

My mum didn't have the opportunity to have smears years ago and she got cervical cancer tha spread. She survived but she had many years of hell.
We are 'lucky' that women in this country get access to this screening that can save lives.

You know psychology the longer you put something off the harder it becomes to actually do it. Face your fear and do it!

Good luck.

notacooldad · 30/05/2018 10:06

hack
Yes people read about her fear, that's why many have encouraged her to go anyway and talk to the HCP about it. They may advice that she comes back another day after seeing someone else.

If nothing else this thread seems to have prompted people to look up their check dated and get checked out.

PlumsGalore · 30/05/2018 10:11

Please don't not go. My friend went to all hers, she ended up having a full pelvic exenteration at 36. She has no womb, no bladder, no vagina and half a bowel. She lives with permanent IBS and a urostomy.

She survived, but maybe she wouldn't have done if she's missed one.

Eeeeek2 · 30/05/2018 10:15

Will delaying it change anything? Ie can you get some drugs to help the pain/relaxing to make the vaginismus easier to deal with during the smear? If you can then rearange and get the drugs sorted ASAP if not then to be honest just get it done, then it's over and you don't have to think about it for another 3 years.

DailyMailClickbait · 30/05/2018 10:17

I feel for you - I find them painful and I really don't like going for them. But I always attend and straight away, because I prefer to get it out of the way promptly and then it's done.

Is there a very close and trusted friend, relative or partner that you could take with you? Sometimes having someone there and their hand to hold, can help with trying to get your body relaxed enough to get things done.

But please do go. It's so important.

PerfectlyPosed · 30/05/2018 10:21

Yes, I always go. My best friend had cervical cancer and a radical hysterectomy at 25.

It's not pleasant but it lasts seconds and could save your life.

Stephisaur · 30/05/2018 10:24

I'm not super familiar with your condition, but could you not arouse yourself before your appointment?

I don't think YWBU to postpone, but please don't cancel altogether

Orangecake123 · 30/05/2018 10:27

Please don't!!!

I don't want to scare you, but my mother's friend has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer and needs a hysterectomy. The quicker these things are diagnosed the better.

Do something nice for yourself afterwards.

BlueEyedBengal · 30/05/2018 10:29

I've had 6 children so not easy because my lady bits are battle worn, but I still go. Just went for mine last month and all clearSmileplease go for yours, it could save your life.

Aridane · 30/05/2018 10:29

Why not postpone for a couple of weeks (but not cancel!) and get some sedatives from the GP in the meantime. Is there anyone at the practice with more specialist skills for smears? At my surgery, my GP does my smear as nurses have had problems doing it before, taking several (painful) attempts, failing and then having to call the GP in...

Original poster
Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 10:30

I showered very fast and now on the tube to the appointment. Will give it a go. If it gets so bad that I can't cope when we're trying to get the sample, I'll reschedule and insist I get a muscle relaxing drug for that appointment.

Main thing putting me off rescheduling is that this week is middle of my cycle so the ideal time to do it. So decided to have a go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 10:31

Genuinely snorted with laughter at the idea of trying to arouse myself before appointment. Um no I won't be doing that! I'd rather reschedule and take diazepam if needs be.

OP posts:
CaptainBrickbeard · 30/05/2018 10:31

Good for you, OP. Better to go and stop if need be than put it off altogether. Hope it’s ok Flowers.

BlueEyedBengal · 30/05/2018 10:32

Well done, hope all goes well for your appointment.

theunsure · 30/05/2018 10:33

I always go.

It is horrible so I do empathise - I have a tilted and difficult to find cervix. The whole experience is dreadful and takes forever with me. last one was about 15 mins of painful rummaging. But I always go - bang on time.

With your condition it is never going to be a good time - so best to just get it over with.

I allow myself a treat after it - a new top, nice meal or something similar.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 30/05/2018 10:33

I also focus on the “after”bit.

After a smear I walk out of the nurse’s room with my prettiest smile, a polite thank you and a cheery “see you in three years”. And a regal wave. Regal waves are important. I focus a lot on my regal wave.

I’ve just had mine. I’m 38. The next time I need one I will be in my forties! FORTIES! That’s ages away! Ages and ages and ages! I will be ancient by then! Ancient!

Yahoo!