To cancel my smear test today - do you go for yours?

[Wheresmyappetite]

I feel panicky and sweaty with fear at the thought. I have two days of hospital appointments this week and just don't think I can face another one today. It was due at the start of the year, so thinking about rescheduling in a couple of months.

I do have vaginismus which means penetration really fucking hurts unless I'm aroused and enthusiastic, which obviously is the complete opposite of feelings you have during a smear.

Do you go for yours bang on when it's due? Is it pathetic of me to cancel?

I do get it. I didn’t have a smear for quite some time because of chronic illness and not wanting to collapse and make a fuss at the surgery.

In the end, I saw a private gynaecologist for an unrelated issue and asked her to do it. She was ever so gentle but that’s a very expensive option as the appointment alone cost my insurance company £200.

In the past, I have always asked for the smallest speculum they have and if they have a plastic one as that isn’t as cold. Will warming it up for a few minutes under your back (still wrapped in the packaging) help? You can do this while they’re getting everything ready.

Could you call the doctors now? Ask if you can chat to the nurse about pain relief: what have they said in the past about what might help/make things easier? There must be something they can give that would help...?

And if you do decide to go, definitely take a double dose of both paracetamol and ibuprofen before you go. If you have time, take two doses, one in the morning and a second four hours later. It does really help.

I don’t go because, following a lot of research, and weighing up my own personal risk, and the high rate of false positives (and therefore unnecessary serious treatment), and the propaganda, I don’t feel it’s of benefit to me. Another woman’s choice is exactly that: HER choice. Everyone should make sure they are fully informed to make their own choice.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. I don’t envy the condition you have.

I understand you will be in soon but look at it this way,

It's could be a case of deal with the pain today for 2 or 3 minutes or find out months down the line that something is wrong and having to deal with a garage of internal tests and procedures over and over again because something wasn't caught early enough

Please go.

Not pathetic to feel like you do about it, but it's important, so don't cancel. The pain won't last long.

I go to mine whenever it's due. It's always a big mental faff for me, because of my past, and I'm usually not all that mentally well before and afterwards, but at least then it's done. Nurses have always been professional about it all, and try to make it as tolerable and quick as possible.

Go have it done, speaking from a girl that at 24 went early by pure luck and found out I had CIN3 that covered half my cervix and without that smear would very likely have turned to cancer, with out that FREE smear on the Nhs I may never of lived to tell the tale! Go go go!!

No one is saying it’s not going hurt with her condition, but it’s going hurt at some point so if she goes for it it’s out of the way and done. It’s horrid knowing you have something nasty to do in the back of your mind. It is a relief to have out of the way. It’s not going hurt less if she waits.

I understand that you are nervous,

Maybe you can book your test with a kind female dr/nurse so you feel more comfortable having a female

And you could tell them as you go into the room that you have vaginismus and all the fear and anxiety the thought of this test has caused you (so they are aware and can alter how they treat you )

Also if it will help you could insert the speculum yourself so that it puts you in control as you aren't having a stranger put it In..

And remember you are 100% in control the whole time, if you need them to stop, they must stop...if something is hurting, tell them,..if you feel afraid, tell them...you have rights as a patient that they have to honour

I just feel like I need to point out that the pain is real and severe and it's really not just a matter of relaxing and getting into the right mindset. Yeah maybe the pain is worth the payoff but it doesn't help to pretend if I just put my big girl pants on and be sensible, it will be ok.

I am currently having treatment for cancer (not cervical). My prognosis is good and I'm not in pain from the cancer itself. But over the last few months I have had surgery, have been a human pin cushion as doctors and nurses try to locate my non existent veins for all manner of blood tests, chemos etc, and had a portacath inserted into my chest whilst awake with limited local anaesthetic. And I have more to come with probable rashes, neuropathy and bone pain from chemo.

I know what you are saying, that 'just relaxing' isn't going to make it any less painful for you, it will be painful. But overall, I imagine that you will suffer more pain if you develop cancer. It will soon be over, you can do it

I suffered from vaginismus for years. Sex was impossible and smears were really painful. Not just uncomfortable, but properly painful.

A few months ago I bought a set of dilators from the internet and within days the vaginismus was pretty much cured. We’re back to having a healthy sex life again and it’s completely wonderful. I’m no longer dreading my next smear.

Could you put off the smear for a month while you investigate dilators?

The vaginismus itself is ok now insofar as I just need to be really relaxed and have lots of build up, and really in the mood. Tampons are still difficult, I can use them mostly but can never be sure I'll be able to get one in!

So fortunately, it only creates a problem in very specific situations like this or internal ultrasounds, etc. Not too often thankfully.

Re all the PPs telling you to “put your big girl pants on” - I think the smear would be a lot easier if you took them off...!
Sorry, flippant I know, but I hope it made you laugh. The trick with vaginismus is to be relaxed and not tense up, which is very hard in the circs of a smear test. You need a dose of diazepam an hour beforehand ( diazepam relaxes muscle spasm as well as being a sedative), a nurse who is kind and supportive, who can be patient, take time to put you at your ease, have a laugh with you, and use the smallest possible speculum very gently and slowly. It would help if she makes sure you feel in control, and that she will stop if you tell her to. Once you feel calm and not threatened, the smear should be possible.
Good luck, OP. And feel proud of yourself when you do manage it!

If you call in advance could you get some medication to help?

Can you have a glass of wine before you go? Alcohol is a muscle relaxant.

I have used a set of dilators before as given by my gynaecologist after they ruled out any structural problem in my vagina, as it were. They helped but didn't make it disappear. Like I say it's not really a problem so I'm fine with how things are for sex anymore - it's just with this kind of thing.

However painful it is OP the pain only lasts for a few minutes. If you had a long term pain condition, it would seem like small fry.

You need to relaxation techniques to help you get through it.

I have this condition and I agree with Elderflower - ask if you can put it in yourself alone. Then you have complete control and the reaction won't be quite as bad. Just close your eyes and try and pretend it is a dilator.
Also if you have anything that relaxes you do this before you go; meditation, rescue remedy, even a G&T/glass of wine!
It is not worth the alternative though, if you put it off now, you will likely put it off in 3 months. Take it from someone who had put it off for 5 years! I feel very lucky that it was clear after being so stupid waiting for so long. Good luck.

Ask for a referral to the hospital, I have gas and air at my smears.

Come on love, you can do this, then it won't be hanging over your head.
Take a couple of paracetamols before you go, and make sure you ask the nurse to use a small speculum.
It really will be over, before you know it.
I strongly encourage you to go.🙋🏼🌸⭐️

I agree with everyone who says if you put it off you're just delaying the pain. It won't hurt any less if you go in a few months so you might as well go and get it over and done with. I don't think anyone finds them particularly pleasant - maybe we don't have that severe pain but it's not a picnic for any woman. I'm a big medical scaredy cat but I just tell myself I'd rather have the two minute smear than what comes next if I left it too late.

Please go and just explain your difficulties to the doctor/nurse so they are extra careful with you.

I'd feel more panicky and sweaty at the idea that if I don't get it I might end up with an all-too-late cancer diagnosis.