Am I just being overly sensitive to be hurt by DM's thoughtless comment?

[Quarky]

DM said something today in the presence of my nephew and although I didn't say so, I was really hurt.

I happen to be good at drawing and painting. I have always loved drawing and making things. I did a design based degree at university but I didn't go to art college or anything like that. I have never been able to make much money from my talent. I put my paintings on Facebook and my friends comment to say "wow that's so good" but it's rare that anyone will want to buy anything. I have sold pictures in the past and someone paid me to do a painting of their big house once. But I have always had to do ordinary jobs. At the moment I am a SAHM while my DD is very young.

So anyway...my nephew is staying with my parents this week and I was there as well today. My nephew was studying a painting they have which is 100 years old now. My nephew asked what the artists name was so I read it for him. He tried googling the artist but couldn't find anything. I then started helping him research on the internet but still couldn't find anything. I said "hmm, he probably wasn't famous, he was probably just a good artist". My nephew said to me, "you should be a famous artist". Just as I was about to say how sweet it was for him to say such a thing, my DM piped up and said "she WOULD be a famous artist if she put herself out there".

This really hurt my feelings. You don't become a famous artist if you're a nobody who didn't go to art college. I just felt like I am not good enough for her, that she thinks it's my own fault I'm not famous. She tells me what I should charge for doing a painting, even if I'm doing it for a friend. I hate charging my friends lots of money, I just find it very awkward and cheeky to ask for £100+ for a painting.

She's very controlling in general, when I was growing up if I thought of a career I might like to go into she would say things like "why on Earth do you want to do THAT?" Etc. She made me think that every career path was awful, and I listened to her because I was young and easy to control.

Now I feel like I'm a disappointment to her. My brother earns a good salary, and so does his wife so I just feel so inferior. I never talk about it to them, I wouldn't want my DM to know how I feel. My DM said something during an argument something like I've had loads of opportunities and wasted them. I have NOT had loads of opportunities! I've been bullied and put down and told I'm not as clever as my brother.

At 36 this really shouldn't bother me, but it does. I have always been really close to my DM in the past, but just recently I've caught myself looking at her and thinking I don't care what she thinks, she's a bitch.

AIBU to feel hurt? Or do you think she's just looking out for me and wants the best for me? Please don't be too harsh, I'm feeling low already 😞

They are brilliant. You do need to promote yourself. I use FB, Pinterest. Twitter and Instagram and it helps with sales. Don’t listen to people who tell you not to use them. There is a good art gallery site you can put your art on. Artgallery.co.uk they do take 35% commission but most galleries do as well. Hope that helps

Your mother's right, you need to stop being so modest about your pictures - you could undoubtedly sell those for more than £100. Try taking a few into the shops in an arty area like St Ives.

You could look into having some giclee prints made of your originals so you can sell them for a reasonable price in local shops, and the original paintings for £££. Beautiful work - don't undersell yourself and you definitely don't need to have an art degree to pursue this!

I would take that as a compliment, she clearly thinks you have talent and are wasting it by not doing much about it.. why don’t you set up an Etsy and sell your stuff.

Wow, those are stunning!! Defo worth at least 100 quid!

These are goooood!
Ask at the cafe to have them display your paintings. You could put a note offering to paint a picture of people's houses. And don't undersell yourself on the cost you attach to each picture. If a picture takes to 6 hours, then think 6x living wage at min, although I work on £10 an hour. The double it, minimum. then add materials and if the cafe ask for commission, don't forget to include that as well. People will take your talent seriously, if you take your talent seriously.

I can see them. I am no art specialist but someone in my family is an esteemed artist, has an international reputation and sells a lot of work etc. just today I sent her drawings by a friend to ask advice. Her response was that the drawings, which I thought were incredible, did not show particular talent but that the artist might want to join a Facebook drawing group where she could share work, talk with other artists and get ideas about paid work. Perhaps that would work for you too?

You are very talented.

Now, believe in yourself, follow your heart.

I don't see how that was offensive at all.

FYI I went to Art College and regardless of how well you do, it doesn't mean you can make a career in art. For myself and 90% of the students I was with, art is a dead end, and I was one of the top students. There are probably 3 art teachers and 2 illustrators from that year, perhaps a few I don't have contact with made a career out of it. It's an incredibly hard industry to get into and make money in.

Lovely, beautiful paintings! They really capture the "feel" of the subjects you are painting. You have a wonderful gift.

Your paintings are amazing, not just saying that. It's quite sad to think that so many successful people are the ones who have the confidence and not necessarily the talent, when there's probably thousands like you who have the talent but no confidence, and your work won't be known.