Not to invite this child back again?

[Peterrabbitscarrots]

AIBU or oversensitive? DS11 has a friend for a sleepover at our house last night, and I made both of them a packed lunch for school today. It was a fairly standard packed lunch - ham sandwich, mandarin, packet of crisps, bottle of water and small drinking youghurt. The friend is almost 12 and has stayed at our house quite a few times. I know his mum fairly well through school events . There are no SEN etc.

DS came home and told me that the friend made fun of the lunch I had provided in front of all their mutual friends. Apparently it was “rubbish” and “disgusting” and he held the items up, laughing at them.

WIBU not to invite this friend back, or am I being ridiculous? They are going to different secondary schools in September and we don’t live near them so it’s not really s big issue. My DS is rarely invited to their house but this is due to the parents’ working patterns etc.

I am surprised by some of these replies. 12 is old enough to know when someone is being rude or hurtful. He is not a little kid. If your son wants him to come over again then that is up to you but I would tell his mum to provide a lunch as he was so rude about the one you provided for him. Showing off to be cool doesn't make it more acceptable.

Did you tell the mother peterrabbitscarrots? I’d want to know if my son had been rude like that, I’d be ever so disappointed in him.

I’d also not be providing a packed lunch again; ask the parents to. That includes if you bring him with you to the theme park visit. Although, if they’re going their separate ways in september maybe you could see if your DS would prefer to invite someone he’s going to go to high school with?

I'd say, "Next time, buy your own packed lunch and make it."

I’d mention it in passing to his mum . Cockiness like that needs addressing.

In reality, you can either mention it to the mum (I would want to know if my child had been so rude) or leave it and let the friendship naturally die. However, I know in your shoes I'd be itching to have him back so I could pack him a lovely lunch of spinach and kale sarnie with mustard, some tasty healthy chopped raw cabbage and carrot and a nice avocado, pea and green bean smoothie.

Dunno what is so funny about a drinking yoghurt. My 11 year old and all her friends have them in their lunches.

I would want to know. Chances are he's a nice kid who just got carried away with some dickish behaviour, but as a parent I'd like to know, so I could nip it in the bud.

A few years ago, my usually lovely DD said something unkind about her friend's mum in the playground. It was motivated by jealousy and feeling left out. The friend overheard and was quite upset, and told her mum. Mum rang me and I asked DD about it. DD initially lied and said it was all made up etc. I finally winkled the truth out of her. Long story short, I marched her round with a hand written letter of apology.

Result : DD has never, to my knowledge, done anything like that since, though I'm sure she will in the future, as she's the mouth open before brain engages variety. But the point is she's aware of this tendency and the hurt it can cause. She's still friends with the other little girl and I'm still friends with the mum. No hard feelings.

I'd probably have done the PA stuff - i.e. once the boy's mum texted to say thank you, I would have replied back 'they seemed to have a lovely time - hope wasn't too hungry today though as I heard he didn't like his packed lunch.'

Thanks for all the replies. I’ve decided to leave it for now, have too much other stuff going on. I think if he comes round again and a lunch is needed, might just leave them to pick their own. He is a bit of a fair weather friend so I honestly don’t think it’ll be an issue after they finish primary school next month.