To ask how you're honestly feeling?

[Dinoraw]

Let's have a chat.

I feel exhausted.

Slightly apathetic, sad, alone, bitter and old.

Karma has not happened and it seems that the liars, cheats and fraudsters just keep escaping any well-deserved consequences.

I follow the rules yet am a failure. My old neighbours blanked me today. They witnessed my Ex's destructive behaviour yet believe his lies.

Tired and fed up.

Toddler up at 1am, infant up at 2.30, and ‘DH’ ate my caramel freddo. 😩

I’ve cried today because I’m in a job working 4-6 nights in a row, mostly with only 1 night off in between and caring for a relative most days.

The only suitable jobs around are temp or PT with nowhere near enough hours, and if I leave I’m worried I won’t be able to find anything in time before money runs out. I’m constantly sleep deprived, and causing arguments with my OH, I’m so tempted to hand in my notice but I just worry I’ll cause more problems in the long run.

I can’t even get the annual leave I need to rest, as they have a ridiculous policy allowing only a set amount of AL hours to be taken each month by the whole department. So even if my shift is fully staffed for the entire month, if the day shift has people off we can’t get anything.

It’s not even a rewarding job, if I atleast made a difference to the world it would feel a bit more worthwhile.

Absolutely exhausted. With battling problems. Feel no one cares about me apart from OH. Incredibly lonely and hate the way I look. I have stopped interacting with people outside immediate family. It’s too exhausting and I just get let down and feel more isolated. I wonder if I will ever enjoy life again.

Fucked off with fucking insomnia. It's affecting every part of my life.

Suicidal

Fed up and annoyed at everything. Wishing everyone positive vibes today.

@HunnidBands
Please seek RL help

I have RL help. Supposedly anyway.

Did you know that even if you’re under a mental health team and being asssessed they write these lovely letters to your GP saying you’re at risk of suicide, but at the same time, saying they can only offer certain kinds of help. Some of which may be no fucking use to you whatsoever.

Sorry. Not my intention to derail.

But that’s the truth.

Hunnibands, please persevere. Don't give up. Easier said than done I know but even posting on MN is a step in the right direction. Keep going X

Thank you x

Pissed off

My father has gone to a hospice this week, I've also just lost my job. I'm fine though, said with a smile and nobody has a clue. Nobody cares anyway. The two people who know have ignored my text and email. Bitches.

that's awful, sending you a massive virtual hug.

Dayinthelifeof **

Shit
Weekend away ruined with rows
Can’t control kids
Back to stressful work today

God. I just want to give you all a virtual hug. So much goes on that nobody talks about,

I've got to tell my very narcissistic mother that I'm pregnant this week and I'm terrified. I'm single and broke and feel guilty enough as it is but she's going to make life miserable. I'm 36! And in a different country. But still afraid.

Confused, lonely, bored.

I did my toes yesterday too ! It did cheer me up a bit

Extremely conflicted and impatient

So so tired. I'm In The middle of a terrible patch of insomnia. I've always had it to varying degrees but never as badly as this. I haven't slept for more than three straight hours for the last 8 weeks and last night I heard the village church clock chime 11, 2,3,4 and 6. I feel dizzy with lack of sleep but I need to get up and go to work and function. And I just don't think I can do it

I'm tired and a bit grumpy on the surface because I've just finished a run of nights this morning.
Underneath I'm confused and angry and hurt at the behaviour of a so called friend/ casual relationship and his attitude towards single mum's, that we're all clingy and just want to get any man we can, trick them into getting us pregnant and take all their money. So I've gone nc, but my God I feel shit.
My horse is also showing his age a bit for the first time and what little bit I've saved recently is going to go on a vet visit tomorrow for him. And I'm worried sick it's something major and I'll lose him, just thankful he's insured.
I also don't think anyone gets the fact that when you work nights you actually need to sleep. And that calling me at 2pm is the equivalent of calling someone at 2am - why the fuck would you think I'd be up by now you inconsiderate twat?! I need more than 4 hours sleep in between nights and you fucking know I've been at work and am going back!
But yeah...... I'm fine

I think the humidity/heat (or is,that just SE?) Makes it difficult for lots of people to sleep

For me an hour long evening walk really helps

I'm exhausted, worried about someone very close, stressed as hell and becoming more isolated by the day. I'm out of my depth and struggling. I'm also becoming paranoid that people are cutting us out due to the current issues.

I paint my face and say 'yes, fine thanks'