My brother’s girlfriend had her first baby 3 weeks ago. All her family has met her and held her, on day 1. None of my family except my mum (once) have been allowed to. We have all, including my mum, been told we are not allowed to visit, but that they will ‘let us know’ when they are ready to see us. We thought maybe a week or two in, at least, but no... DM thought maybe they just didn't want visitors but they won't come see any of us either. And it's not like she's scared of leaving the house, because they've gone off to a couple of places that are miles away already. Even my Dad hasn’t met his grandchild yet, as he was away the day after she was born which is when my mum was invited to go.
I never try to prescribe how anyone’s behaviour should be, but I am finding this extremely hurtful and upsetting. I have a good relationship with my brother and get on ok with his girlfriend (although we are very different). None of our family can understand why they are being like this. DB is quite under his GFs thumb which doesn’t help, i.e. everything is clearly decided and organised before any event or decision, and my impression is that he wants to go along with it so as to not hurt her feelings, which is lovely, but honestly, seems to be at the expense of everyone else, particularly in this case.
Obviously I understand that having a baby is a massive thing, and that we all cope (or don’t cope, in my case!) in different ways, but the baby is my brother's baby too, not just hers! I just don’t know what to do, if anything... 