To think this was unnecessary and 4 year olds don't need constant supervision.

[Butterflykissess]

This happened a little while ago but it's played on my mind since as it was really humiliating and I wondered what others thought. I was in my local shop paying at the self service machine. I was with my 4 children one being a baby in the pram. Kids were next to me at the machine but due to space i told them to wait out of the way a bit so people could pass. Space is tight due to the displays. A group of women were at the machine next to mine. I was just about to pay but my card wasn't registering in the machine, I was trying to figure out why when I heard crying. I turnt round to see it was my 4 year old, before I could even get a word out to call him over the woman next to me screamed "excuse me whose child is this" I said he's mine and called him over and asked if he was ok, at th at moment the other woman who was with the woman next to me, loudly went "she wasn't even watching him!" To which replied saying I turnt my back for a second to enter my pin, how am I suppose to watch 4 children and do my shopping at the same time. She said "normal mother s do! " I turned my back not wanting a confrontation, which she clearly was looking for and she repeated " normal mothers do" obviously looking for a reaction, I ignored her and they walked away still talking about it. Aib u for thinking this was totally ott. I haven't been in the shop since as I have anxiety anyway and now I think everyone will be judging me. Was I in the wrong for turning my back?

I have 4 and anyone that says they have eyes on their kids constantly is either a nervous wreck or lying.

It's impossible! I go round to my shop regualry and I know exactly what you mean about the cash machines, prams and children. Mine stand at the end together in eye sight. But I would be lying if I said I was constantly looking. Its abnormal to do that ffs!

My 5 year old ran ahead on the way home from school when it was raining and as i was shouting him back he was up a climbing frame, slipped and ended up with a black eye. It was utterly embarrassing walking with him after that. But that happened as I was watching him. Just as it could have happened to every single mother no matter what they say.
So no YANBU, they are being bigots!

Please don’t let Punch and Judy put you off going out with your children. If most “normal” people see anyone out with 4 kids in tow we’re thinking “hero”. How are children to learn about different environments if we keep them inside for fear of offending people. If you’re doing your best to keep control, which you were, there is no issue. The cases of horrific things happening are, although terrifying, rare. If I dwelled on all the catastrophic things that could happen if I left my house, I wouldn’t go out and that would be sad for me and my children. You go out there and teach your children, you’re doing amazing.

Ignore the applesandpears prissy comments

applesandpears56 does not have a clue about having 4 children I'll bet!

Applesandpears that's helpful.

applesandpears56 Here is one of those bigots OP! If she is a mother I bet you anything she is either an abnormal one who doesn't take her eyes of her kids..

Or she does and she likes to think she is perfect.

Gosh, reading some of the responses on this thread I am beginning to understand why so many parents pass on their chronic irrational anxieties to their children by this mad clutching behaviour. No wonder kids are unable to cope these days.

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Even when your eye is on them things will happen! I wonder if your title doesn't help the comments. In answer to the title, I would say yes, they do need a constant eye over them, but in response to what happened, asking them to stand and wait together while you paid is reasonable. Just try to avoid that method if you have all of them. I have one of those children that climbs/wriggles/hides in anything he can and I try not to take him to places where he is more tricky, but at the same time how will they learn if you never take them all out. The key is not to answer, especially not 'how am i...?' I'd just be saying 'are you alright little one? Bet that was a bit cold!' And quite possibly in a louder voice 'ignore the silly, rude lady poppet' whilst glancing her way.

I choose not to have 4 kids because I know I couldn’t watch them well enough
I’m not abnormal - I just watch my kids in public and keep them safe
Yes accidents happen but this could have been preventable if you took the 4 year old and baby to the till and left the older ones to wait

Op, I have 4 dc, now 6-11yo. I do take them shopping, every half term, and did so today. It can’t be all done online and they need to get used to environments like shopping centres! I frequently group my dc together away from me (especially as self-serve checkouts). My dc would definitely block up space, self-serve checkouts in London are not the most roomies of places. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, someone would have whined about them blocking some area. But I do it all the time as it just seems practical. I’m sure with less dc, there would not need to do it, my eldest dc best friend is an only child. Once I had her with my dc when I was checking out a few things at Sainsbury’s. She automatically reached for the stuff and started scanning and I mentioned that I will do it because one wrong move and I’ll need a staff member to come help, more time consulting etc etc. My kids just glared at me with a look that said, what the hell, you mean other parents actually let their kids do this fun job!

I feel like pushing applesandpears into the freezer now.

They were after a fight. Horrible women.

Why? Because I’ve said don’t have more kids than you can manage to watch properly?

I would just fix her with a beady eye and say, loudly, Excuse Me? in quizzical tone. Just appear to be very much in charge and quite confused by their strange and unnecessary commentary on your parenting choices.

@applesandpears56 it's quite clear no harm was done. You sound an amazing parent and I'm quite sure nothing will ever happen to your children due to your focus and attention, but just remember it is deeply unpleasant to be so judgemental. You chose not to have 4 kids because you couldn't keep an eye on them? That's so sad, what a strange reason. Most people it's financial or house or even car related but because you don't think you could watch them? What a shame it's a wonderful number. I have more than 4 and haven't lost any yet. So either I'm lucky or have an amazing eye!

Oh applesandpears give it a rest. A lot of us are parents. Things happen. You're not perfect and none of us are. But to question whether a child should be born is out of order. Op has four children. She's not asking if she should have!

*Today 22:35 applesandpears56

Why? Because I’ve said don’t have more kids than you can manage to watch properly?*
Why would you even write this? Have you had a bad day? Does it make you feel better to be so rude? I feel sorry for you, to be so bitter is unhealthy. I hope you let it out here and it doesn't spill on to your kids.

Take no notice, some people are such twats.

I'm wondering if I'm quite relaxed compared to others. We're all weighing up and taking calculated risks all the time. I can't see that you did anything wrong at all OP. It's awful feeling that people are judging. They were quite unpleasant with you.

Can you go back to the shop for a really short trip or two and just get one or two items (ice cream?!). Something easily manageable with the children to try get past the anxiety.

The woman was clearly looking for some drama where there was none.

Why start screaming "who's child is this?!" when she could have just asked his older siblings standing next to him "Are you ok? Where's your mum?"

Don't have 4 children Come on, not everything in life goes to plan.

My sister had 2 children and (whilst using contraception) fell pregnant with unexpected twins. They are a lovely bunch of kids but not planned. The older ones just naturally look out for the younger ones if they're out and about together.

I think I’m judging because I can imagine the 3 kids standing misbehaving and climbing on the freezer when they shouldn’t and the op distracted at the till
I wouldn’t be so judged if they had been standing there nicely and had an unavoidable accident
That’s probably what the women was thinking too - people seem to think it’s ok for their kids to misbehave in public nowadays

But still I have a 4 year old and I wouldn’t leave them out of my sight in a busy shop - I just wouldn’t. But yes everyone has different standards

Where did I say he climbed onto it? He fell into it as I'm tripped into it. Sorry I thought it was clear i didn't mean inside of it.

I m=in* it was a totAl accident he wasn't climbing the thing. He tripped and banged into it, he told me this as did the older two. Like I said took my eye of him for a second when my card started saying error .

@applesandpears56 so many judgey assumptions. I too have a child that age and keep an eye on him but I have absolutely no idea where or why you've been commenting in the way you have. There's nothing to indicate terrible parenting at all.