To think women are conditioned to sound perform in bed?

[VogueVVague]

I mean making way more noise in bed than their male partners.

Like if you watch a standard film or (whisper it) porn, the actress is always gasping and moaning and whimpering whereas the bloke is just getting on with it.

Made me realise that i do actually exaggerate it myself and wondering why is it that media has tried to condition women to do this? And not men?

We also both say things in the heat of the moment that we’re horrified by afterwards (well I am, DP is quite philosophical about it and accepts that a different side of us comes out in those moments). DP is the king of dirty talk and gets into some quite elaborate stories that he knows will get me off.

He’ll often say something about it afterwards, I’ll get all shy and then he realises he’s not taking to “that person” anymore, she’s had what she came for and left the building

DH is a shouter sometimes. So embarrassing.
[Hint: stealth boast.]

I like the bloke who complained that his wife never did any of that moaning and groaning. The next time just when he was really getting groaning she shouted out "I,m sick to death of being the only one who does any washing up round here, and when are you going to sort out that flat pack assembly?

Tmi probably, but I’ve faked every time I’ve ever had sex (never had an orgasm).

I make noises and men seem to like it. And yes, it gets them to finish faster.

I have been known to make a noise much like a cow mooing at climax and this is certainly not a ‘performance’ intended to turn anyone on, I’m generally mortified afterwards

Me, too. The noises I make (when I'm enjoying it) are involuntary. And I'd be mortified if they were ever played back to me

He’ll often say something about it afterwards, I’ll get all shy and then he realises he’s not taking to “that person” anymore, she’s had what she came for and left the building grin

Hahaha!

The only noise I tend to make is a fanny fart after doing it doggy

Yep, it's obviously mostly [I'd never say entirely] done to please men. Porn no doubt plays a huge part in it. How often do women make the noises when they're alone with a vibrator [which, let's face it, has a vastly higher 'success rate' than intercourse]? How often do copulating [female] animals make the noises? How often are noises made by people in [e.g.] primitive cultures where no-one's ever seen a porn film etc etc etc?

But we are verbal creatures, so of course we are more likely to vocalise.

I actually find silent arc really dull. Part of the mouse I make is a compensation for my DHs lack of noises.

2Litre you are hilarious

I think it's pathetic when women do this. They are putting on a performance. No need for it whatsoever and very irritating if you have to listen to your sodding neighbour screeching and wailing.

Pathetic? Interesting.

I like to make a hell of a noise - always have. Not so possible these days with the kids. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my partner or with porn, it's entirely to do with me relaxing and feeling like I'm cutting loose. It helps me get into things as I'm usually quite uptight and respectable.

I've had exes who actively didn't like it as it made them feel self-conscious. We were not compatible. And if I hear it of the neighbours I just think "good for you, you go girl", as I assumed they were simply doing it for their own benefit. I don't for a second think it's necessarily for the guy; although sex is obviously a game of give and take.

I'm an atheist but God and Jesus seem to get a lot of credit when I reach a certain point!

If you watch Men vs Women watch a strip show. Men are silent, Women are moving and loud. So I do think that there is a difference in how we react. Why are Women more likely to scream when scared?

Some of it is a natural response.

I have always varied, but I've got louder as I've aged, even though, in the last five years it's been a solo event. That isn't conditioning, at all.

If you watch people do sports, some are more vocal than others.

Serious question, I've no idea what the answer should be, how common is 'vocalising' within a lesbian coupling (real ones, not in porn, although based on my very limited experience vocalising in porn is mostly reserved for penetration)? If in any way common, by one or both partners? If just one, then by a (cringe) more 'feminine' partner?

If you watch people do sports, some are more vocal than others.

That's interesting to think about; I'm really vocal in sport too. It helps me get in the zone!

I give reassuring words yes, more, faster etc. if it feels good and like to make whatever groans I want to at the time. It makes me get even more into it and I want to see if I can climax more than once. I would find it difficult to be completely silent, but the men I have slept with usually are. I would be put off if they made noise, maybe I'm bossy in bed

I don't think I do it for effect, I just can't help it.
Last night was the last time I'll get to make noise for a week and we didn't get it on and I'm now pissed off we'll have to have silent sex for the next few days!

You can help it then..if you'll have sex silently for the next few days.

Yes I make noises when I'm on my own, though not as much, true. Yes I can be silent if I have to but the orgasm isn't as strong.

I don't scream or anything but I would find it very difficult to be silent. It's the same when I'm alone so it's not 'put on' for a man's benefit. I've slept with men who have been silent, some who have been loud but most have fallen somewhere in between.

Well I suppose I can help it then, but I much prefer not having to concentrate on being silent.

How often do women make the noises when they're alone with a vibrator [which, let's face it, has a vastly higher 'success rate' than intercourse]?

Not for me, maybe that’s part of it? Sex with DP is the best ever, it’s an intoxicating and addictive experience like nothing I’ve ever had. Doing it myself is about 10% of the experience I have with him.

You can help it then..if you'll have sex silently for the next few days.

Of course it’s possible to be quiet, but that’s not the natural state for many of us, it takes effort or a ball gag to stay quiet. I agree with the person who said it’s like sport, some people make a right racket when they serve at tennis (me included!) and others think it’s unnecessary - horses for courses and all that.

I make noise when having sex, because the sensations I’m having are driven by what we’re doing as a couple, and some are entirely unexpected which isn’t something you could say about masturbarion. I’ve made him make noises too. Silent sex wouldn’t ever happen, but we’re ok with that.