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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, cheeky fuckers - a holiday edition

353 replies

HolidayCF · 27/05/2018 19:24

On holiday with all my DC (5 of them), ages 15-3. Single parent. So a busmans holiday really.

2 days ago kids came back trailing another random kid. Happens every year, always kids with no siblings. No problem in theory, 5 kids 6 kids doesn’t make much difference. Then kid would NOT go away. Knocking on the chalet door at 8am, (parents smiling and waving from their decking) 😒, we left for the beach at 10am. An hr later kid turns up with his parents. They sit 50ms away and kid comes over to play.

So now in effect I’m watching their kid plus mine as they sunbathe and read all day. Sent him back at lunch. He comes back the second we stop eating. I send all kids over to his side to play. Mum then brings them back as her husband is asleep!

Again same thing today, kid came to the pool. Didn’t see his parents all day as presumably I’m supervising him? Asked him if his parents knew where he was, he said yes. I went back to his chalet (left teens watching kids) and asked them if they knew where he was. Parents sunning themselves on their deck. Mother at least had the good sense to look embarrassed and said ‘oh he’s loved playing with your lot, send him back if it gets too much’ WTF?! I kind of laughed and said well there is a lot of them, not sure I can supervise him too! She said oh he’s a brilliant swimmer don’t worry

Just finished dinner and he rocks up and starts playing outside with the younger ones. Got ice creams from the shop and couldn’t leave him out as he went with them. I can see the CFs sat two decks over drinking wine and reading.

AIBU to send all kids over there and lock my door for an hour 🤔. How long before they send them back do you reckon?

OP posts:
Suresurelah · 28/05/2018 01:45

Eldest D.C. was an only for a number of years. They would pal up with other kids on holiday, but we never expected some random adults to shaperone them.

These are CF, especially reading when you told him to go home and the mother said only if you said too. Who the fuck does that...?

OP, you need to get tough. This is YOUR holiday so only do what suits, in that l mean send him back after an hour and not providing food/drink etc.

  • -bill the fuckers- -
Raspberrypony342 · 28/05/2018 02:48

Not so exotic but in Cromer a few years ago , on the pier. My 5 year old girl had one of those sweetie necklaces, she had worn it all day, occasionally had a nibble. Stood on the pier and another little girl , slightly older, walks over and nibbles a few sweets from the necklace. My daughter was absolutely furious but very very confused. The kids mum just smiled and laughed.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 28/05/2018 07:15

Eatalot NOBODY LAUGHED AT HIM, FFS! Hmm

barleycorn · 28/05/2018 07:31

G Rn

NotARegularPenguin · 28/05/2018 07:35

If he turns up today go out for the afternoon/evening and let him tag along. Don’t tell the parents, don’t come back till midnight. Maybe by then they’ll be going out their minds with worry and realise what stupid idiots they are?

Ok, I’m half joking and know what would be really irresponsible but it’s tempting.

NotARegularPenguin · 28/05/2018 07:39

I feel sorry for the kid, his parents sound awful.

monkeymamma · 28/05/2018 07:45

The parents are CFs.

I also find every time I take my DC to the park there’s a parent there alone with just one child who will then buddy up with mine. Which is no problem if said parent comes over at some point to supervise/interact. However a subset of these parents will ignore their kid, my kid, and me, and continue to sit on the park bench browsing on their phone/listening to music on headphones/reading a book. The park is long with a large play structure so they are quite far from kids. Then I start to feel responsible for watching their kid which I’m sorry but it is cheeky fuckery. I also feel like I shouldn’t point out the following but I will: so far the latter type of parent has 100% if the time been a dad 🤨

hollyholightly · 28/05/2018 07:46

Feel sorry for the kid but fuck that toive paid for a family holiday you're not a babysitting service!

I've had this before with a random parents shooing their kid over to mine? I actually enjoy spending time with mine and if I wanted to look after another would of asked a friend or a cousin along.

You need to be firm with his parents. Not him he's a baby. Fuck then you owe them nothing and they don't care about you. Just tell them I'm not watching your child.

And just adding another on isn't that easy! Having someone else's child is no way the same as having your own!
Watching another child at the pool? No way.

TaggieRR · 28/05/2018 07:50

Just say you’re having family time today and send the kid back each time.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/05/2018 07:54

There is a vast difference between having a 'extra' child joining in and playing with your children and having an extra one all day.

OP is on holiday with HER children and like most of us want to enjoy family time away from the day to day stresses and enjoy FAMILY TIME and with other children whose parents can't be bothered with them.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/05/2018 07:55

and NOT with other children whose parents can't be bothered with them.

Ninabean17 · 28/05/2018 08:01

Hope you don't have to deal with this again today! Cf indeed

lidoshuffle · 28/05/2018 08:04

You've been very kind OP, and I can understand why you want a break from the CFery.

In another 20-30 years the grown up lad will remember what a great hol he had because of your and your kids' kindness. He won't have any memories of his own parents being any part of it. No consolation to you at the moment though!

PlumsGalore · 28/05/2018 08:06

I am angry for you. I feel for the kid but his lazy ass parents should be offering to have your two of a similar age in return.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 28/05/2018 08:14

Poor kid. His parents sound like knobs.

And sorry op. Sounds stressful and not what you need on your bloody holiday. Get firm. They want to make you out to be the bad guy. Fine. They’re relying on you being too nice. (And I appreciate it is tough saying no to a little kid)

Unfortunately I see it a lot in playgroups etc. The parents bugger off for a coffee and chat leaving their little kids to fend for themselves (and that’s not nearly so bad as on holiday!). Another mum and I had to intervene once when we saw a tiny toddler (younger than two) all by herself for nearly an hour. I kept an eye on her as she clambered over slides and climbing equipment etc. Leader rolled her eyes and said they’d had this problem before. The kid (and another one) were being looked after by a childminder. But clearly her duties didn’t extend to playgroups.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 28/05/2018 09:37

having an extra child when you already have 5 may not sound a lot, but it changes the dynamics. I have a lot of children but they are mine and know my rules, my expectations etc the older ones will watch and discipline the younger ones.

When another child is added to the mix its different, because I dont know that child, its capabilities, allergies etc I have to keep a closer eye on them, which is absolutely fine if I have arranged it with the parents, but to have a child dumped on you is not on at all it is CF at its best.

It is OP's and her childrens holiday, she has paid hard earned money for it, why the fuck should she have it hijacked by CF lazy arse parents. I would quietly seethe for a while then probably end up being quite rude

I would also be asking the parents for the money for ice creams etc that can really add up.

Eatalot read the OP's comments, her kids were laughing at her, and her getting irritated, not the little boy

AlansLeftMoob · 28/05/2018 10:24

With 5 dc you were hardly likely to catch a break though were you? So in the grand scheme of things how does 1 more ruin your hols? The parents are CF no doubt but I fail to see how this poor little sod deserves to be ostracised.

I have 3 dc and one more child wouldn't ruin my hols but it would certainly add stress. I know my own dc inside out, I know their behaviour, habits, whether they're likely to cause trouble, I can tell when they're going to start picking on each other, etc. A new kid is like when an Inspector comes to a school - I'm on high alert because I don't know that kid. I don't know their habits, behaviour, are they likely to run off, what if they get hurt, what if I feed them something they can't have, etc - it's this woman's holiday and she shouldn't have to make up for someone else being a shit parent. It's unbelievably unfair. She has paid for a holiday for her and her 5 DC and these other lazy fuckers have taken their kid on holiday and dumped him on a babysitter they didn't even hire.

SineOfTheTimes · 28/05/2018 10:50

What about getting ahead this morning, and wandering over to theirs with your younger ones and your book? Greet them with a big cheery smile, and settle down together?

SineOfTheTimes · 28/05/2018 10:54

(So the mental/supervisory load is being shared, their son is being included and they are not revelling in peace while Holiday has extra work...)

BiddyPop · 28/05/2018 10:59

Has he arrived back again yet this morning?!

Orchidflower1 · 28/05/2018 11:15

Total cf- changes whole dynamics of s holiday - half and hour each day or even half a full day but two full days and no thanks cccf ! Has he arrived op?

MarshaBradyo · 28/05/2018 11:27

The parents sound awful, poor boy

I bet they do this every holiday and encourage him to join another family

There’s not much you can do if they play with each other on the beach etc but no way to supervising him, doing his sunscreen etc

But tell them, be clear

maymai · 28/05/2018 11:39

If it happens today tell him he has to go away and that his parents should have told him that you were not entertaining him today.

Then take him back, tell them you are a single parent who has five children, has worked hard for a holiday and resent being used as entertainment for a bored only child.

Tell them the truth. It's not like you'll ever see them again. I'd also say that it would have been polite for them to offer to have your young ones over there to play but as they struggle supervising one child there's no way you'd let yours be in their company.

GabsAlot · 28/05/2018 11:48

stop buying him ice cream etc-send him back everytime for money that will stop them sending him

sonjadog · 28/05/2018 12:16

I think I would be blunt with them. Who cares what they think? It's not like you are going to be living next to them for ever more.