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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/05/2018 16:14

Sounds like a small business and rather personal between you all so this would feel like a bigger slight than at a big, multifaceted business.

FilledSoda · 27/05/2018 16:18

I'd have done the same op.
As you obviously, not your dishonest colleague.

YearOfYouRemember · 27/05/2018 16:18

If it's does break it it's been an expensive holiday for the pregnant non worker.

Melliegrantfirstlady · 27/05/2018 16:19

I can’t understand why if the business is only small your employer pays sick pay?

There’s usually time limits on sick pay too

15 years and the business is threatened by sick pay is a worrying situation

Is this a cafe or something

JessicaJonesJacket · 27/05/2018 16:20

Having been a boss (and small business owner) in a similar situation where one member of staff reported another's private photos, the biggest takeaway for me was that I had two staff working in close proximity whose working relationship had irretrievably broken down. Managing that breakdown became a bigger issue than the photos.

kateandme · 27/05/2018 16:24

could you confront her.allow any doubts your havin to either be cut by seeing her reaction

LeeLooDallasMultiPass · 27/05/2018 16:27

I had a holiday booked and had leave from work for it. I discovered I was pregnant a few weeks before I went.

I was meant to be in the Caribbean for 2 weeks, but I got severe morning sickness at about day 3 or 4. Ended up flying home a week early, went to the GP to get a sick note and had my holidays from work back for the sick note days.

So just severe morning sickness brought me home from an amazing relaxing holiday. It was all inclusive so I could fortunately just graze the food all the time. But we still came home. It was gutting but also amazing that I was pregnant (infertility issues.)

Even if your boss doesn't do anything, it will make her view your colleague in a different light.

redherring4 · 27/05/2018 16:31

To accuse her of lying is also accusing a qualified doctor of doing the same.

It would be a brave employer that took action over this.

PetulantPolecat · 27/05/2018 16:37

“To accuse her of lying is also accusing a qualified doctor of doing the same.”

No it isn’t. The doctors rely on their patients to be telling the truth. You don’t have to prove to your doctor what symptoms you may be suffering from.

QuitMoaning · 27/05/2018 16:37

@Melliegrantfirstlady I can’t understand why if the business is only small your employer pays sick pay?
Don’t all employers have to pay sick pay?
My OH has a small business and he has to pay SSP to anybody who is unwell more than 3 days (I think it is 3 days)

PotteryLady · 27/05/2018 16:41

It's people like her that give genuine people a bad name.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/05/2018 16:44

And yet:
"IrmaFayLear Sun 27-May-18 15:52:37
"The thing is it’s quite easy to get a doctor’s note. I had to take a few months’ off from work when I was pg and I was surprised after the first note the doctor never asked to see me again; I was just told to collect subsequent notes from the receptionist. I was lying in bed and dh collected the notes, but I could very well have been off on holiday and volleyballing for all the doctor knew or cared."

Gitfeatures · 27/05/2018 16:48

Is there previous animosity with this colleague? Just wondering why she would have blocked you on FB rather than just not adding you as a friend...

LadyWithLapdog · 27/05/2018 16:50

IrmaFayLear - were you in hospital during that time? If the GP had enough info from hospital, 111 calls, OOH etc then I can see how they didn't need to drag you in for a sick note. Ultimately, they will treat you like an adult and it's not their place to police your work record or try and catch you out. It's not they don't care, I don't think.

PercyPigAddict · 27/05/2018 16:53

Gitfeatures - Probably because she didn'twant her colleagues to see her on holiday when she was meant to be off sick...

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 27/05/2018 16:54

Are you absolutely sure you know what's on her sicknote?

My SIL was the subject of some sniping at work over pregnancy-related sick leave. She had several risk factors to contend with and certain problems that she didn't want discussing publicly, including two prior miscarriages.

Scrumymum · 27/05/2018 16:55

She's definitely taking the piss. Well done OP! The fact that she has blocked you on FB rings "I don't want any work people to see me pulling a sickie" alarm bells.

Carycach100 · 27/05/2018 17:05

This reply has been deleted

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Nikephorus · 27/05/2018 17:08

Well done for reporting her, it's people like her that fuck it up for the rest of us.
And yet if an OP suggests that someone might be equally taking the piss by claiming they're stressed, the OP will be slagged off and called all the names under the sun..... Hmm

YearOfYouRemember · 27/05/2018 17:08

Totally uncalled for, Carycach100.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/05/2018 17:09

Very suspect, if you have HG, the last thing you want to do is go on a holiday abroad, eating and drinking, and playing games. Sounds like she's taking the piss. There might be a reason why you are blocked.

Namechangedtoscream · 27/05/2018 17:11

If she does have HG it's easy enough to prove as there will record of her urine sample results and what medications she is on to control it well enough to be able to fly to Greece...

Fatball · 27/05/2018 17:17

Cheeky cow. She deserves the sack.

Carycach100 · 27/05/2018 17:19

In what way? If the Op tells me she is a GP and has examined the woman and read her notes ,then fair enough

.But as that is not the case, she should not be second guessing professional opiniom. A few holiday snaps probably taken on a 'good' day mean nothing.I don't know what you think your employer can do with this 'news' ???All you have done is stirred up trouble and employers don't like that AT ALL

rotavixsucks · 27/05/2018 17:21

Having suffered from HG there would've been no way I could've even contemplated going on holiday, some days I was lucky to even get out the bathroom. As for feeling better recovering from HG takes a long time even when you stop being sick/nauseous you have to rebuild your strength. She's definitely taking the piss and good on you for pointing it out, people like that are a disgrace.

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