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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 27/05/2018 15:06

I'd show your boss. Cheeky mare.

IrmaFayLear · 27/05/2018 15:07

I think it’s a good point about the holiday being booked. It would have to have been a complete last-minute deal for all members of the party...

Atetoomanyjaffacakes · 27/05/2018 15:08

She is a piss taker, show your boss the photos

pudcat · 27/05/2018 15:09

My d in l had this and she could not even get off her bed. She ended up in hospital. Morning sickness is bad but this is far worse.

Rattail · 27/05/2018 15:09

Would have had to been booked. Definately tell

questabellatreetop · 27/05/2018 15:10

As others have said if she has Hyperemesis there is no way on earth she would have had the energy or ability to get to the airport let alone get on a plane and play volleyball!!
I currently have HG, I haven't left the house for two months and some days I can't even sit up! I've lost 1 1/2 stone, been in and out of hospital on drips for my whole pregnancy, we cancelled our family holiday because of it.
This woman does not have HG!!

chocnvino · 27/05/2018 15:11

I would let my boss know and show him the pictures in Facebook and let them decide.

I had severe morning sickness but not HG, vomitting 10 x day and being nauseous 24/7. I felt so ill. Work was hell but even with puking all day long, my GP refused to sign me off and told me to bear it.

if she is indeed signed off with HG, then (given my pregnancy sickness experience), I wonder who signed her off for so long and if she is severely sick, she won't be able to travel to Greece to enjoy the sun. obviously she is faking it.

Tell your boss, women like that make it ultimately harder for other women of child bearing age to get jobs.

Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 15:11

She’s not used any annual leave yet as she’s saving it up to use before her maternity leave.

I feel really shitty to be doubting her but the evidence is there in colour. And I feel selfish as I know that if it gets to the point that one of us has to be let go, it will probably be me as she’s got more rights and protections being pregnant.

I’m just so worried and I know I’m taking it out on her, and it probably sounds like I’m trying to get her in trouble but she knows all what’s going on at work and has decided to do this anyway, it’s taking the piss.

I’ve had 3 babies and had normal morning (all day) nausea so I can sympathise if she has got HG, as even that was hard enough for me. but she, well her dp, brought her last sicknote into work on what now turns out to be the morning of their flight to Greece Angry

OP posts:
GladAllOver · 27/05/2018 15:13

She's putting your job and others in jeopardy.

Of course you must screenshot and show the boss in confidence. S/he needs to know about this and will decide how to deal with it.

pudcat · 27/05/2018 15:13

You do need to report her.

Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 15:14

I’ve screenshotted everything in case I decide to show my boss. She’s an amazing person to work for and really doesn’t deserve this level of disloyalty.

OP posts:
chocnvino · 27/05/2018 15:15

I had sever sickness that got much better at the 13-14 week mark. It could well be that she is feeling much better and will be returning to work when her sick note expires.

yeah right, HG suddenly stopped so she booked for the last week of the sick note. jolly in Greece? Seriously????

pigsDOfly · 27/05/2018 15:15

I had 'normal' morning sickness when I was pregnant with all of my DC and there is no way I would have wanted to get on a plane and go on holiday during that time; it's a horrible feeling.

If she really has hyperemesis would she really be on a Greek holiday eating strange food and running around? Somehow doubt it.

Something sounds a bit off with this, so yes I would be letting my boss know if I were you.

If the company is struggling and her actions are putting an additional strain on the company's finances she's risking the jobs of everyone in the company. I think your boss and colleagues have a right to know.

Floralnomad · 27/05/2018 15:15

Screenshot everything and then let your boss deal with what happens . I had hyperemesis with both pregnancies and it doesn’t sound like she’s got it at all .

PurpleTigerLove · 27/05/2018 15:15

She’s a brazen so and so . If there’s a risk of one of you being let go id damn well make sure it was her . Screenshots and immediate discussion with your boss .

NewYearNewMe18 · 27/05/2018 15:16

Are you sure they are current and not historic photos?

So what you are doing is attempting to safeguard your own job?
I'd do the same TBH. Dog eat dog world out there, but I would be sure of my facts first.

chipsandpeas · 27/05/2018 15:17

you can go on holiday while off sick so that in itself its illegal
and even if she is taking the piss, proving it will be a nightmare for you boss as she is signed off and has more protection being pregnant

endofagain · 27/05/2018 15:17

I had hyperemesis. Lost 10 pounds by the time I was 6 weeks. Could barely lift my head from the pillow. Hb down to 8.0 at 24 weeks. Couldn't tolerate iron tablets or folic acid. Hospitalised and on a drip at 36 weeks.
Still vomiting on my way to the labour ward.
No way could I have got on a plane. I couldn't even get in a car.

chipsandpeas · 27/05/2018 15:18

*isnt illegal

Whitegrenache · 27/05/2018 15:19

I also had hG diagnoses at 6 weeks and was on a drip in hospital and then given anti emetic tablets for the rest of my pregnancy.
Up till about 16-17 weeks I was bedridden.
Like others I did feel so much better after 17 weeks almost overnight.
I think I would keep well out of it.
She could have spent all day in bed in Greece apart from having one hour in the sun playing with her friends.
A picture o Facebook can tell a thousand lies.
I friend of mine who recently fell pregnant was seriously vomiting one day and then fine the next and this week on until she was about 16 weeks. She managed a holiday on Gran Canaria with her husband and two other dc. She just rested when she felt poorly.

missadasmith · 27/05/2018 15:19

I had severe pregnancy sickness too and was ill for one 2 weeks. I went to GP and just told him how I was. I was signed off on the basis of my account. There were no tests so I suppose it is totally possible to 'fake' it. At least severe morning sickness. Anybody with HG I know had hospital admissions and I doubt you could fake HG but you never know. But severe morning sickness? definitely!

elliejjtiny · 27/05/2018 15:21

I think to be diagnosed with hyperemesis it has to be really bad and you'd be too ill to go on holiday. I had sickness 5-10 times a day and +2 ketones and I wasn't considered had enough to get meds or have hyperemesis. I think most people would struggle to go on holiday with "normal morning sickness", let alone hyperemesis.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 27/05/2018 15:21

Like pp have said, I also had morning sickness/nausea until 16 weeks. I didn’t get signed off work but took a scheduled holiday at 11 ish weeks. It was miserable. I spent the whole time in bed and couldn’t even manage to get to sunbeds, pool, restaurants in the evening etc.

She’s remarkably resilient if she has severe sickness.

I’d certainly be showing my boss.

BewareOfDragons · 27/05/2018 15:21

I'd take screen pics of everything and show your boss. Let him look into the legal ramifications of her being in Greece when she's supposed to be so incredibly poorly with HG that she can't work.

There's no way someone signed off for severe HG would think hopping on a flight and going on a beach holiday in the hot sun would be a great idea. The very idea of being hot and clammy on top of the constant sickness would add to the sickness!

I think she's full of shit.

Namechangedtoscream · 27/05/2018 15:22

I've had hyperemesis with this pregnancy and although I refused to be signed off I had to adapt my daily life and work around it while trialling different medications. I lost nearly 3 stone in weight and no way would I have entertained an active holiday.

Mine wasn't severe as I wasn't hospitalised. Hope this point if view helps!

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