Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/05/2018 15:43

I would love to say I’d be strong and dob her I but I’d probably be a coward and not say anything.

Props to you for doing it!

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 27/05/2018 15:43

I think you have done the right thing OP. Let your boss decide what to do.

Barbaro · 27/05/2018 15:43

Glad you reported her.

Surely even if she had this severe sickness and it genuinely went away, she still wouldn't have had the strength after being sick that many times over such a long period to play volleyball and go swimming. Maybe I am just pathetic when I'm sick, but even being sick once renders me useless for the rest of the day. Surely being sick multiple times a day for weeks would take a long recovery.

Sounds like she booked the holiday, didn't want to use holiday leave and decided being sick is better.

TittyGolightly · 27/05/2018 15:43

you can go on holiday while off sick so that in itself its illegal

🙄

and even if she is taking the piss, proving it will be a nightmare for you boss as she is signed off and has more protection being pregnant

Please leave giving employment law advice to those that understand it.

Namechangedtoscream · 27/05/2018 15:43

Well done OP!

IrmaFayLear · 27/05/2018 15:45

ScattyCharly, the nurse asked if i’d like to hold my baby when he was born, and I said, “Not yet - i’m going to be sick!”

I agree that the woman may have had a miraculous recovery but it was also miraculous that her dp and friends could all also leap off to Greece with one day’s notice.

SleepFreeZone · 27/05/2018 15:47

Well it certainly sounds like she’s taking the piss. I hope it doesn’t end up biting your arse OP.

Isleepinahedgefund · 27/05/2018 15:50

True story- I once dealt with a case where someone was put in prison because he told the judge he was too ill to come to court, and we found pictures of him on his holidays on social media. It was a civil case, which he lost, and the judge was so pissed off that he made sure he was punished for contempt of court.

She might not be taking the piss in that she may be pregnant and had hyperemesis, and be better now. Everyone I know who had hyperemesis severe enough for the doctor to sign them off was either hospitalised or completely unable to do anything never mind living it up on holiday. She should have resumed from sick and taken leave.

Just because you are signed off it doesn’t mean you can take the extra time as holiday if you get better, you should resume from sick as soon as you are able. And no, there isn’t a law against that, or an employer’s liability problem with that, and no, your GP does not need to sign you off as fit to work.

I would definitely show your boss the photos. It’s especially fishy because she has blocked you, which implies she didn’t want you to see her pictures. You should at least give your boss the opportunity to ask her some questions.

IrmaFayLear · 27/05/2018 15:52

The thing is it’s quite easy to get a doctor’s note. I had to take a few months’ off from work when I was pg and I was surprised after the first note the doctor never asked to see me again; I was just told to collect subsequent notes from the receptionist. I was lying in bed and dh collected the notes, but I could very well have been off on holiday and volleyballing for all the doctor knew or cared.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2018 15:54

Good on you for telling your employer. They can now decide for themselves whether or not the holiday is legit.

hastalavistababy · 27/05/2018 15:56

Glad you reported her and hope that some action is taken if she is indeed faking it. Someone at work did this a few months ago and it took the company months to dismiss her, even though they had proof that she was pretending to have hyperemesis and she had even started a new job whilst “off sick”.
People who do this are the reason why so many people aren’t taken seriously when they have to be off work for legitimate reasons. I don’t think people to sit idly by and let this happen if they can do something about it, so good on you!

greendale17 · 27/05/2018 15:59

She is a shameless, dishonest liar.

Everyone I know who had bad morning sickness/ hypermesis couldn’t even leave the house let alone go on a plane!

CoughLaughFart · 27/05/2018 16:03

You’ve done exactly the right thing. If there is an innocent explanation after all (e.g. the boss agreed to the holiday so she could recuperate), then there’s no problem - all you did was make sure your boss was aware.

As tempting as it sounds, do NOT publicly ask this woman how her holiday was when she gets back. That could put your boss in an awkward position and it sounds like you have a good relationship.

StatisticallyChallenged · 27/05/2018 16:03

I've had to get on a plane with Hyperemesis- no choice, i was abroad when it started- and no way would you do it unless necessary

Women often have to really battle to get hg treated and recognised but it varies hugely between doctors. Mine are exceptionally good with it, gave me meds and signed me off with no argument but realistically i could have been faking/exaggerating - they never saw me puke, I've avoided hospitalisation this time and only one of the docs checked ketones so...yeah it would be fakable in certain circumstances imo.

Sitting out in the sun with Hg? Fuuuuck no!

melodybirds · 27/05/2018 16:03

Wonder what your boss does...

JessicaJonesJacket · 27/05/2018 16:06

Her sick notes trump your photos every time. There's nothing your boss can do but at least you've alerted them to the relationship dynamic between you both.

CatsCatsCats11 · 27/05/2018 16:08

Even with normal morning sickness not sure I'd of managed to go to Greece Shock

ICantCopeAnymore · 27/05/2018 16:08

Glad you've reported her. How disgusting.

Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 16:08

As much as I want to I won’t be mentioning it to her at all.

Boss emailed back “OMG! Thank you for showing these to me. Hope you’re enjoying the bank holiday and will see you on Tuesday”

So I’m more confident I’ve done the right thing.

Thank you all for your advice (and for not flaming me 😂)

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/05/2018 16:08

I've got to say, I think she's taking the piss too.
I only had normal morning sickness, not HG, and my god I could barely get on a train, never mind a fecking plane!

I don't think I'd confront her myself at all but I do think I would show your boss. Then it's up to your boss what she does about it, including getting employment advice if necessary.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/05/2018 16:10

Oh and I should have pressed F5 before posting that. Never mind, well done, right choice.

SimonBridges · 27/05/2018 16:10

I think it’s alerted her boss to the other woman being a liar more than anything.

LadyWithLapdog · 27/05/2018 16:11

A couple of things: a sick note is advisory, the employer can disregard it. As a pp said, you can return to work sooner if you're better, it's not a compulsory time off.

Regarding signing off, it could be pregnancy-related illness rather than HG and that can be on self-reported symptoms. In HG there'll have been several trips to try different antiemetics, hospital admissions. I suspect you could fake it but you'd be playing a long game.

UrsulaPandress · 27/05/2018 16:11

Well done OP. I hate employees who take the piss.

Original poster
Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 16:13

@jessicajonesjacket my relationship with my boss, and the fact that I’m trying to be supportive of her in really shit times means more at the minute. She’s worked her arse off for 15 years to make this business a success and I can’t stress enough the fact she’s having to pay a temp on top of everything else could just be the straw that breaks it.

OP posts: