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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
Starhaf · 28/05/2018 21:15

Good grief! I had HG and no way could I even get in a car let alone cope at airports and fly. Getting my head off the pillow was hard enough.
Disciplining her is going to be fraught, but using her annual leave to cover the time in Greece seems fair.

Homebird8 · 28/05/2018 21:16

Please don’t show your boss the insult. She’s having a hard enough time trying to keep the business afloat and being aware of the issue she’s got with your colleague. She doesn’t need to suffer extra pain that she can’t act on. Let her act on the sick/not sick issue with as much strength and decorum as she can muster.

Homebird8 · 28/05/2018 21:20

Sorry, missed that the boss probably will soon be able to see for herself.

coritabee · 28/05/2018 21:39

I wouldn't show your boss the insults either.

Mousefunky · 28/05/2018 21:39

I didn’t have HG with my first pregnancy but I had bad ‘morning’ (all day) sickness and that was enough to floor me for the first 16 weeks. There’s no way I’d have been jetting off abroad during that period, I struggled enough just dragging myself out of bed in the morning.

She is a chancer and a brazen one at that posting it all over FB. I would do as suggested and screenshot to show your boss.

Seabreeze18 · 28/05/2018 21:39

When u have been ill with HG yourself, this seems even more wrong. Just getting downstairs was hideous, holiday would have been out of the question. Disgusting behaviour. I feel sorry for the company

Adnerb95 · 28/05/2018 21:43

bjhsum

Your (and a few other PPs') comments that the business must be unsalvageable if an employee's false absence threatens its existence demonstrate woeful ignorance of how very small businesses operate.

Having run a small business - now very profitable - for many years I can assure you that this is just the kind of small issue which can really cause problems - it can certainly mean, for example, that the boss has to forgo any kind of payment for their own work, maybe for several months. It can also have knock-on effects on other employees, which is grossly unfair.

We got through several really tricky times, when it might have been a very small straw just like this that could have broken the camel's back. Fortunately we survived but loyal, hardworking employees such as OP are worth their weight in gold and they should not have to carry the can for idiots who just want to milk the system.

Carycach100 · 28/05/2018 22:01

this is just the kind of small issue which can really cause problems - it can certainly mean, for example, that the boss has to forgo any kind of payment for their own work, maybe for several months

Perhaps then the business is the architect of its own problems, by offering sick pay it can;t afford.

AreThereAnyLumpsInIt · 28/05/2018 22:07

I used to work for a lovely small family business. They were the nicest employers I've ever met. Very considerate and understanding. Extremely flexible.

If I had seen anything on Facebook of my colleagues doing shit like that, I would have showed them. They wouldn't have deserved to be treated like that.

Some of my work colleagues were stupid enough to be friends with my bosses (husband and wife) on Facebook and post pictures when they were supposed to be ill. It got worse when we could predict when one of the staff would be "off sick" by looking at their weekend party pics. Stupid. shakes head and rolls eyes

dinosaurkisses · 28/05/2018 22:11

I’m sure CF will have shat bricks once she saw that friend request come through.

Unfortunately if she has a brain in her head she’ll know what’s coming, and will have time to come up with a reason or excuse for how she’s handled her jolly to Greece.

Really hope your boss is getting some professional advice about this.

Hellbentwellwent · 28/05/2018 22:22

But surely she just won’t accept the friend request so your boss won’t see the photos and previous posts slagging her off?

flowergrrl77 · 28/05/2018 22:22

@Carycach100 I am guessing you’re not in England?
I am also guessing that OP IS in England btw...
I have never in 24 years of working ever been an employee in a company where sick pay isn’t standard. I know very little of employment law etc etc... my own personal experience to date tells me that sick pay is fairly standard in most UK jobs.. even when it’s not really affordable to the company.

I don’t think I’d even agree to work for a company without standard sick pay! Not that I take much time off sick.. I’ve even been given additional holiday hours by HR for having gone a year without a single day off that wasn’t prebooked leave.

OMG that’s a lot of assuming there! I suppose I really ought to look up employment law and sickness! Lol!

OP, do keep us updated when she gets back! Ppl don’t usually get stuck on a sick bed with HG and return tanned!

ChishandFips33 · 28/05/2018 22:24

You've done the right thing especially in light of the previous statuses.

Can you contact your mutual friend for more info ie was work colleague running off being sick etc. Obviously may need to question carefully of mutual friend is loyal to work colleague.

Your boss sounds lovely in trying to protect you - would Acas be any help?

dinosaurkisses · 28/05/2018 22:32

@Hellbentwellwent - If I was a CF trying to defraud my boss I would definitely be very paranoid about a random friend request coming through!

I think OP said CF’s privacy settings are fairly low and some of her posts are viewable without being Facebook friends.

manicmij · 28/05/2018 23:22

Who goes on holiday abroad when suffering from severe sickness. I had this for full 9 months x 2 and I could hardly manage to get to my front door. Also, not sure about this though, are you entitled to go on holiday if signed off sick.

Teeniemiff · 28/05/2018 23:44

In our company the benefit of going on holiday whilst under a gp note would be the leave could be claimed back & therefore taken at a later date. Maybe if she wanted to go away but keep her leave for maternity this would be a way?

I was in my office the other day (Nhs) & a team leader took a call from an employee of a Friday advising her she was feeling better & would be in Monday without any other sick note. I asked why she would call to say that & not just come in Monday & was told that her sick Leave will end on the Friday, instead of the Sunday. This was significant as the employee informed the manager she was going out the Saturday so wanted her to know she is better as of the Fridays date. Team leader advised me when I asked why we needed to do this, that you can be in trouble for doing something that your illness would most likely stop you from doing, eg if you’re off sick with a bad back & are playing football then this would be cause for concern but if you are off with a bad back being seen having a coffee then that’s ok- and again depending on your job & what’s expected. I have a colleague who has allergies & frequently loses her voice, she is a therapist & could not do her job without her voice. But if she was seen on Facebook at the theatre or something for example that would be ok. So I think it would depend on her sicknote. & agree with others although she has verbally told you the reason she may not want to stage the reason. It could be stress & a holiday is the perfect remedy.
However you’ve now passed it to the manager who will know the reason on her sick note & will know whether it’s acceptable she’s on holiday.

Yucka · 28/05/2018 23:57

I'd argue that, although it may be hurtful, your boss should be shown the defamatory Facebook posts about her. I've seen people disciplined for putting far less on social media and this way any disciplinary issues nicely sidestep any pregnancy protected areas.

TittyGolightly · 28/05/2018 23:59

Team leader advised me when I asked why we needed to do this, that you can be in trouble for doing something that your illness would most likely stop you from doing,

It’s actually because sickness is counted in calendar days in the nhs so if your colleague had just come back on the Monday her absence would have been 2 days longer, which could have put her at a trigger point.

Yucka · 29/05/2018 00:05

To add to my previous post - it could go something like:

"An employee was concerned that X had been fraudulently claiming sick leave whilst she was actually away on holiday. I chose to assume that the holiday was part of X's recuperation from her pregnancy-related illness and so did not pursue this. However, at this time I also became aware of X's social media posts, which were freely available to any member of the public. These posts were in contravention of the social media policy of our company, and so I therefore had no choice but to discipline X on her return to work."

Dieu · 29/05/2018 00:08

What a cheeky cow she is!
Definitely report.

Clearoutre · 29/05/2018 01:47

If I was the boss I’d feel entitled to question whether the reason for her sickness contradicted her ability to go on holiday (esp. via plane) - and have that answer from her doctor.

Please keep us updated. Would love to know reaction when she gets back to the office, I hope your boss gets good legal advice.

TittyGolightly · 29/05/2018 06:57

If I was the boss I’d feel entitled to question whether the reason for her sickness contradicted her ability to go on holiday (esp. via plane) - and have that answer from her doctor.

You’ve no right to anything like that though.

swimmerlab · 29/05/2018 07:18

I think it might be worth getting this thread removed. If disciplinary procedures are likely to be started then surely the employee could raise the fact that personal details relating to her pregnancy had been posted on an open online forum?

TittyGolightly · 29/05/2018 07:34

No, they couldn’t.

TittyGolightly · 29/05/2018 07:35

She could potentially raise a grievance against the OP, but that would be separate to any disciplinary action. And it’s not mitigation for her given her going on holiday was what prompted it.

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