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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
Bjhsum · 28/05/2018 18:17

I could discuss employment law with u till the cows come home. If u want to research for yourself start with the equality act and then human rights act and then contract law. Then when u have full total comprehension of them all from the imperative European Union conventions and then regulations and then directives and then UK law start researching whistle blowing. And then if u feel confident of being embroiled in a legal battle which u may be held accountable to give testimony to then go and alert your employer. If u don't want any of this then ignore it all and let your employer and company legal department deal with it as and when and if it pops up. That's my free advice to you although I feel for your honour in wanting to do what u think is right leave well alone n focus on your own life.
P.S. I would also say that if he company is going to suffer because of the cost of a temp then the company has already been in the mire a long time.

Iseveryusernametaken · 28/05/2018 18:19

Disingenuous absence is very difficult to evidence, unless maybe someone posts themselves sky diving when they're off with a back injury. Photographs are a snapshot in time and don't necessarily depict the entire story. She may be ill enough to not be able to reliably be at work, but well enough to enjoy a few hours per day whilst away. In addition, I don't know how you know what is on her sick note, but you probably shouldn't.

My guess would be that she booked the holiday before she was pregnant and when she became ill decided not to book leave. If she's signed off sick, then unless it's long term, she shouldn't really be paid for holiday and you can 'claim back' annual leave if you can evidence that you were I'll during it.

The problem with trying to discipline for maternity related absence is that you would risk a discrimination claim. Challenging a fit note in this sort of situation would not be something that I would recommend.

An employer doesn't have to offer any more than ssp, so if they can't afford the csp that they offer, then they should really be considering withdrawing it for new starters and consulting existing employees out of the benefit.

Labtest7 · 28/05/2018 18:28

I had hyperemesis in both pregnancies, and was in and out of hospital on a drip, and having cyclizine injections in my backside. No way on earth could I have gone on holiday. I couldn't even walk to the local shop!!

Allergictoironing · 28/05/2018 18:30

This CF reminds me of a friend of mine many years ago. She was signed off work with Repetitive Strain Injury in her wrist (she was a PA who did loads of typing. Told by her GP she needed to rest it, keep it strapped up at all times, no heavy lifting or suchlike. All well and good, but she couldn't understand why I thought she was being a CF for taking her totally insane ex-racehorse to a cross country competition (hint - this sport requires a LOT of use of your wrists, both flexion and strength).

ClaireAnne1976 · 28/05/2018 18:30

I’d 100% tell
My boss. It’s such a selfish thing to do and makes a mockery of people who actually get the condition.
She must have previously booked that. What a CF.

MissStegosaurus · 28/05/2018 18:31

In addition, I don't know how you know what is on her sick note, but you probably shouldn't.

Read the bloody thread then.

Jakethekid · 28/05/2018 18:39

Sorry if it's already been asked, but how close are you with the friend you both have in common on Facebook? Will she work out that it is you that has passed on this information to your boss?

Not that I think you have done anything wrong, I just worry how this could affect your friendship with her.

SillyT1lly · 28/05/2018 18:51

I couldn't walk anywhere without being sick when I had it. I certainly could not have gone to Greece. Even if she is recovering, after being ill for that long you wouldn't be going on holiday and playing volleyball. It does sound like she's faking it.
If she takes further time off then I'd do something about it?

DarlingNikita · 28/05/2018 19:05

Just received a Facebook friend request from my boss along with the message ‘this way I’ll have found out on my own xx’

Oh, that's smart!

Notthatwomanagain · 28/05/2018 19:05

I’d have done the same as you

I work on an obstetric unit and the women with HG are desperate and can barely stand let alone fly to Greece

Most work places also have a social media policy that is likely to have something about not denigrating work on SoMe.

I totally get why you are upset with her

As an aside, if the place you work for is sailing so close to the wind financially that paying one sick leave temp cover means it might fold then it’s going to fold anyway sooner or later. Sorry. That is not a viable business.

SofieMonde · 28/05/2018 19:08

If she asks you how the boss found out just say "Don't know mate. It's all Greek to me" :)

Gemini69 · 28/05/2018 19:14

Just received a Facebook friend request from my boss along with the message ‘this way I’ll have found out on my own xx’

brilliant Flowers

Undercoverbanana · 28/05/2018 19:17

Playing volleyball? As in throwing yourself down onto the sand to bunch a ball whilst landing spreadeagled on your abdomen? Are you even sure she’s pregnant? Swimming etc is fine, but volleyball?

Apart from this, severe sickness is serious. There is no way she is suffering that much.

SirGawain · 28/05/2018 19:35

People who do things like this end up dragging everyone down. I've worked with people like this woman and the more they get away with the more even conscientious workers end up thinking, why should I bother working hard when slackers don't suffer the consequences of their actions. Result the whole organisation suffers.

Ginburee · 28/05/2018 19:35

I just don't get how daft some people are- I do not mention work at all on FB. In this say and age you have to be so careful with social media.

marjorie25 · 28/05/2018 19:39

I agree with everyone, take the screen shots now and make sure they are dated.
Show them to the boss and wait until the sick leave is up and see what happens. When she applies for more sick time, write her a letter with the screen shots. Give her a choice either to resign immediately or sue for all the money that was paid for the temps.
Make sure to send the letter signature required.
She is a liar, selfish and have no integrity whatsoever If you can get someone with integrity and a decent work ethic to replace her, do so as soon as possible.

Grandmaswagsbag · 28/05/2018 19:39

If you’re well enough to go on hols you’re well enough to work. Simple. My mum actually asked her doctor if he’d object to her going away whilst she’d been signed off for some heart thing and that was his response.

Belleoverandover · 28/05/2018 19:55

OP you did the right thing, your boss adding herself so she can 'find' the evidence is brilliant

tallpoppies · 28/05/2018 19:56

I might be being daft but how would your boss bring friends with you on fb mean she could have found out on her own? Unless your uni friend posted photos of herself and work colleague on your wall which seems doubtful? Otherwise how would your boss have known about your mutual friend iyswim to randomly look at her profile - assuming that it’s even open to public or friends of friends? All roads still point to you I’m afraid although I think you did the right thing in telling your boss!

Willow2017 · 28/05/2018 20:02

Cowbell but its ok for op to be made redundant because this woman is taking the piss and causing business to lose money it cant afford over her lies?

Rudi44 · 28/05/2018 20:09

I had awful morning sickness for weeks and there is not a chance I could go on holiday, I could hardly eat for weeks and could hardly move. It does sound like she isn’t as bad as she is saying she is

Appleofmypie · 28/05/2018 20:31

@tallpoppies sorry I didn’t explain it very well. boss didn’t have a Facebook. She’s just set herself up a profile and has friend requested all of us (who works for her)

Pregnant work colleagues profile is semi-open so by boss requesting her it looks like she has seen the pics by herself.

OP posts:
OJZJ · 28/05/2018 20:37

Appleofmypie you do realise you will have to start another thread to let all of us know what happens when she gets back to work Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 28/05/2018 20:44

AppleofmyPie I’d get screenshotting the older stuff because she’s going to panic like hell when she sees that friend request.

Scarlettwaffle · 28/05/2018 21:06

Tell your boss to contact council or valuation office. Can apply for hardship or temp reduction in rateable value.

I had “normal” morning sickness for 1st 20 weeks - I cancelled so many outings, there was no way I could have managed to go on holiday (although I did work almost my entire pregnancy despite having severe SPD start as my sickness started to wane....)