To think she’s faking?

[Appleofmypie]

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

There is nothing wrong with being on holiday on sick leave, it may even be recommended for recovery. There is everything wrong with fraudulent sick leave.

I spent my HG time with each pregnancy between hospital and immobile at home. I did get to a couple of important family events which involved travel but mainly by lying down in the back of the car and spending most of the trip on a sofa.

However it does vary a lot - I knew women who were awful at certain times of day and much better at others but still at risk of the dehydration problems.

Let your employer follow it up but if you unblock your FB account make sure you are not sharing content from friends who may not want to share.

'I agree two. Anticipate another sick note because she's claiming she's too exhausted to come to work.
Then when she hits the window where absence can trigger early maternity leave, she'll be in all the time, then she'll go ob maternity leave, then tag her holiday on the end of maternity leave (legitimately) and then she'll probably get herself signed off for a bit for PND (again a very real and serious issue but one someone like this will latch on to for time off).'

And then come back pregnant again so she gets a second mat leave.

I had morning sickness put down on sick notes as hyperemisis. My gp said if she just put morning sickness then it wouldn't be taken as seriously as the proper name. I'll admit mine wasn't that bad, I could still go out etc. But gp said at the time I needed respite from a shitty time at work and it was the most legitimate reason she could give me.

That said, I was careful not to go out too close to work and I certainly wasn't flaunting holiday photos over fb. I pretty much kept off it during sick notes so as to avoid causing anyone conflict about whether I was allowed to do what I was doing on a note.

And I did have sickness. Right up until 6 months first two times. Although mine generally hit in the evening at dinner time.

Thats good of your boss

Just received a Facebook friend request from my boss along with the message ‘this way I’ll have found out on my own xx’

Sounds like a thoroughly principled boss - what a shame she's been treated like this

As in Minisok’s example, some people have some very tame GPs. I have some CF relatives who brag that their GP is very “understanding”. The last occasion was signing their dd off work with “stress” because she didn’t want to work over Christmas. (Actually she was fired over this so I guess sick notes aren’t always magic.)

I like the sound of your boss, very thoughtful of her to keep you out of the evidence loop, and I hope this whole problem is resolved soon.

Let's just hope CF isn't a mumsnetter... might be an idea to ask for this to be removed before the daily hate pick it up!

I wondering how she managed to get a sicknote for HG in the first place tbh.
I spent the first few weeks of my pregnancy in bed feeling like I was dying, no energy, would have a sip of water and throw up half a glass. It was only when I was forced along to a&e and they couldn't find a vein to get the fluid in as all had collapsed that they diagnosed me with HG and I was signed off with HG before then although I can't remember what my sicknote said it wasn't that!
Everybody is different but when I had HG a holiday would of been impossible.

Publicity for illnesses is manna from heaven for some skivers. I agree that the Duchess of Cambridge drew people’s attention to the possibility of rebranding one bout of throwing up as HG.

Likewise we have people devaluing mental illness and stress - let alone the bloody anxiety which seems the excuse du jour on MN for any poor behaviour.

Mind you, I remember one Super Skiver at work years ago. She immediately contracted whatever was in the news. You could have predicted that the day after the Salmonella in Eggs controversy she phoned in to say she couldn’t come in as she had eaten a bad egg.

If your not so sick friend finds this thread could it be used against your boss? She will be furious and out for a payout. What if this hits the fail?
It might be best for you and your boss to have this thread deleted.

If your not so sick friend finds this thread could it be used against your boss? She will be furious and out for a payout

Why? The OP has done nothing wrong. Her boss sounds very intelligent. You can't get into trouble for copying pictures that someone has stupidly posted on FB.

If the facts are as they appear to be, the greedy woman has no one to blame but herself.

I speak from experience. I had very severe pregnancy sickness that put me in hospital on one occasion,when I was 9 weeks gone,for several days as I couldn't even keep water down. It started at 4 weeks but literally disappeared overnight when I hit 13 weeks. So it can happen.

@ALongHardWinter no one is disputing that, but, having a prebooked holiday you take during sick leave rather than annual leave is the issue, she could well have had HG previously, she clearly doesnt now.

I once had a precooked holiday take place during time off. (Stress related). My boss knew about it as my leave had already been approved, told me to go and then the company gave me my annual leave back (I hadn't asked for this). Granted it wasn't a small business but I did work my ass off for them and my boss valued me for it.

Hyperemesis put my cousin in hospital; she has a very petite build and had lost a frightening amount of weight and was dehydrated.
In stark contrast, a colleague who claimed to have the same condition, was frequently seen on FBk stuffing her face at lunches and on jolly days out. Said that a midwife told her that the cause of her hyperemesis was, '...your husband's strong sperm' Cue lots of comments along the lines of 'Don't swallow it, then you won't feel sick' Even more disturbingly, the faker is a Science teacher.

I feel bad for small companies. I would tread carefully, while I know that you are worried about your job, your company should be prepared for her maternity leave and paying cover then. You are morally right but you could also find yourself friendless, as empathy will be with a pregnant women, if you mess her plans up plus nobody likes a snitch and they will keep their lives more private and distance themselves from you.

That is really suspicious. When she comes back to work, I’d say something along the lines of ‘I’m glad you’re back, I hope you’re better - it must have been awful being stuck at home sick for so many weeks!’ If she says ‘Oh yes it was horrible’ you know she’s knowingly deceiving you all, snd I would call her bluff. If she says ‘Actually I ended up feeling better so I went away for a bit’ you know she’s honest. Definitely take the screenshots as many people here suggested.

'You are morally right but you could also find yourself friendless, as empathy will be with a pregnant women, if you mess her plans up plus nobody likes a snitch and they will keep their lives more private and distance themselves from you.'

I would in zero way be empathetic with a colleague who skived off like this. I'd be thankful to the person who let the boss know, too, wouldn't consider him/her a 'snitch'.

It's possible to have plenty of friends outside work, too.

I would show the boss if its affected you personally at work. I had HG and there's no way I could have gone abroad as I would have a few hours warning before needing to go on a drip as it would go from being sick every 4-5 hours to every 10-15 minutes without warning.
I'm not saying everyone with it can work, but if she actually had it rather than just morning sickness then she would barely be able to function, I spent most of my pregnancies having to force myself to stand up, I would have cancelled any holiday no matter how much I would have liked it out of pregnancy.

It started at 4 weeks but literally disappeared overnight when I hit 13 weeks. So it can happen.

but then you either return to work, or if you want to go abroad on holiday, you request annual leave. You dont pretent to be ill to go to Greece!

I wouldnt show the boss the rest but I would let her know youre blocked but signed on using an old account/DHs account (whatever) and you can see everything. Then let her follow that trail herself and see for herself. Saves your boss's embarrassment as well at being called names.

The prebooked element is key here.
Say colleague had put her annual leave in for the holiday, came down unwell, was off sick and then went on the holiday then whilst it may raise some eyebrows, they were up front about the holiday and it's possible that they did have some moments where they were unwell.

Being seen counting down to a prebooked holiday with friends, talking about how you're saving your annual leave up to extend maternity, then claiming to be ill conveniently over the time of the pre booked holiday and people will (rightly) wonder whether there is a lot of dishonesty involved

I had hyperemesis with my pregnancy - relatively well controlled with zofran- so I was able to work in an office and was "only" sick 1-3 times a day (usually when waking)

The idea of playing volleyball would have made me queasy. Although I could have gone on holiday and lazed by the pool.

If she's sick enough to be signed off sick then she's not well enough for a plane journey and volleyball.
I'd report it - people like her give women a bad name.

Show her everything. She deserves to know.