To think that sometimes a new partners income should be considered by CMS?

[LolaLouise]

My ex hasnt seen our kids in 2 years, or paid a penny in 18 months. This includes birthdays and Christmas. School residential trips, school uniforms, childcare, activities, everything they need is paid for solely by myself. My ex quit his well paid job to live off some inheritance rather than pay for his kids. He said this was the reason for quitting his job.

6 months ago he entered a new relationship, where he now is a sahp to her two young children whilst she works full time. This arrangement has happened for he past 4 months. He is saving her a lot in childcare fees by staying at home and avoiding working so he doesnt have to pay his own. They have a good set up with extra from tax credits and enough to go on a summer holiday together.

Now aside from the morals of allowing a man you have known for 6 months to care full time for your children, she is well he is a father to 3 other children he has no contact or financial support for.

Am i wrong in thinking their household income should be considered by CMS? As it stands, as he has no taxable income, he is on a nil rate.

Nobody answered why in this situation you couldn't do shared care and stop maintenance?

Ok im out. His first child is not my responsibility. It's his and the other woman. I myself pay for my 2 children. Him and the other woman were both as bad as each other. This has been made clear and yes he should be paying for him. So when he gets a job this will be one of the first things he does!

Overdue you have supported him in neglected his child. Nah man the stepmoms dont get to go nothing to do with me.
If you support them in neglecting children it makes you a shitty person.

No she hasn't at all. He's a big boy he can make his own decisions.

Or do men not have to be responsible for their own decisions should us women have to take that on?

Flaming a man who would quit work to neglect children should not be around any fucking kids.
If a parent wants shared care to stop maitenance they should deffo not be doing shared care.

I raised my point in that I shouldn't have to pay for the other child, my 2 are looked after and I pay for both!

@flamingofridays without her financial support he couldnt have made that decision. Therefore she has supported him in choosing not to pay for another child.

I simply cannot understand or imagine why any woman would have two children with a man who isn't supporting a previous child.

It's a disgusting thing for him to be doing, so to jump into bed with him and pop out 2 kids... whilst another child is out there being finanically neglected by his father. What sort of woman loves a man like that? A morally bankrupt woman.

@overduemamma but he should pay for his other child. Surely he has money of his own. Does he ask you for money for everything he buys? If he has any free will with money, his priority should be the child he doesnt see. No one is saying you should foot the bill. But he should pay regardless of where he is getting his money.

Nah its shit. If men are openly commiting crimes and abusing people we ask the people around them why are you still supporting them.

By getting him to be a sahd he is neglecting his children. Which she is supporting. Shitty people.

Eugh how can you share a house with someone who does this to a child.

Flaming, if a man is willing to quit his job just so he doesn't have to pay child maintenance ... Do you really think he's going to be pushing for 50/50 care of his children ? He doesn't want to support his children financially, let alone look after them and provide for them 50% of the time. It's not rocket science.

@overduemamma

And he saved the household money by providing childcare. If he went to work, your have childcare costs on top of maintenance costs. His staying at home saves your family money on childcare... I guess you see it as a little bonus that it also saves paying the child maintenance.

You agreed for him to stay at home. His financial obligations should have been thought about along with that decision. You've agreed to be the one covering his finances... So what about the commitment he had to the kid? That stopped when you agreed for him to stop working to benefit your family.

Overdue, you're going out to work and providing for your children because he's at home looking after yours. So his children lose out so yours can be provided for. Nice.

If he's a stay at home dad for other kids then why not? And sorry but pushing for it? It should be the default position imo.

Why should one parent have to "push" for equal contact?

Well no maintenance is paid in shared care but surely if someone's at home anyway you'd want them to do half the childcare?

Or can only women adequately raise children?

Ffs your husband stopped working before he was with her. Stop blaming her and start blaming your fucking husband who's kids they actually are??

Pmsl Flaming. Tell all the NRPs that. Most don't push for it. Most walk away from their children, see them every other weekend and set up a new family with their new partners.

@flamingofridays

I absolutely agree that if one parent stays at home (resident or non resident) then, if at all possible, they should provide the childcare for their children. But it's not always possible - distance can stop it. But also, some men just don't want too. They want to go have a new family and not see the old one. Sometimes there has been domestic abuse etc. So it's not always an option.

@flamingofridays most nrps dont want 50/50 custody and would scoff and the suggestion. Given the choice i would much rather my ex shared half the parenting over financially contributing as my kids can be a nightmare at times and id save half the childcare. However since that cant happen, because of his action and his choices, not mine, its only fair he should pay something

I think people are being a little bit harsh to overdue.
It's easy to sit behind a keyboard and say 'I would never be with a man like that' but life doesn't always work that like. People fall into situations. You forgive alot when you love someone.

He doesn't work and she can't afford csa for his kid. What's she supposed to do. We don't all have £400k salaries to spend like Mrs money up thread.

Im not blaming her. Im saying that had she not enabled him he would have had to return to work or claim benefits once he spunked his inheritance in the local pub. Its not her fault he is a drip, but she is enabling him to continue being one by supporting his lifestyle

Yes Flaming and if his new partner had said, "I'm not paying for your child and I will not be with a man who refuses to provide for his own flesh and blood" he wouldn't be able to go on as he is.

They are both as bad as each other and are both benefiting from this set up.

I'm sure the OP is angry with her ex too, not just the poor new partner.

@flamingofridays

I havnt seen my kids dad for 4.5 years. He saw them occasionally for a few months after he left, but even his dad once said to me "he's really not interested anymore". His dad was sorry if course, but we'd been together a long time, had 2 kids and then I came home one night to find all his stuff gone and he's moved in with a woman from work. He just wanted a new life with a young woman, and no kids to hold him back.

You cannot force someone to see their kids. But you should damn well be able to force them to pay, no matter how they try to get out of it.