To think that sometimes a new partners income should be considered by CMS?

[LolaLouise]

My ex hasnt seen our kids in 2 years, or paid a penny in 18 months. This includes birthdays and Christmas. School residential trips, school uniforms, childcare, activities, everything they need is paid for solely by myself. My ex quit his well paid job to live off some inheritance rather than pay for his kids. He said this was the reason for quitting his job.

6 months ago he entered a new relationship, where he now is a sahp to her two young children whilst she works full time. This arrangement has happened for he past 4 months. He is saving her a lot in childcare fees by staying at home and avoiding working so he doesnt have to pay his own. They have a good set up with extra from tax credits and enough to go on a summer holiday together.

Now aside from the morals of allowing a man you have known for 6 months to care full time for your children, she is well he is a father to 3 other children he has no contact or financial support for.

Am i wrong in thinking their household income should be considered by CMS? As it stands, as he has no taxable income, he is on a nil rate.

Too right Ohreally and expecting a woman to think the same doesn't mean we are expecting her to take responsibility for her partner and the poor menz.

Has anyone considered that maybe this woman doesn’t know he isn’t paying for his for his kids?

If he received a substantial inheritance as previously stated, he could tell her anything, like he’s paying Lola out of that for maintence, or he could have spun her a yarn about “getting all the equity” from the house etc. Basically a sob story.

Not everyone is highly educated or has common sense, some people just naively believe everything that others (particularly people they’re in love with) tell them without question.

It’s not her job to be his moral compass. It’s on his head only. Loads of people make moral decisions daily in all respects of life that I don’t necessarily agree with.

@Jessikita she is well aware and the reasons why he has no contact with the children on the advise of social services, yet still allows him to care for hers.

Also getting equity for shared marital assets doesnt replace cm payments for the child. They are two separate financial arrangements

No she shouldn't. Your kids=you and your exes responsibility. Plus if hes caused all these problems, that you say he supposedly has, why on earth do you want anything from him?

Because he is still their father and has a moral and legal obligation to support them financially.

I don’t disagree Lola. I never said getting shared marital assets does equal CMS or they weren’t separate issues, if you’d like to step of your patronising high horse for a minute!!

I said you don’t know what yarn he has span her in that respect. I know people who are under impression that CM is still dealt with through the courts purely (even in case of non-marriage) and aren’t even aware of the existence of the CMS or have only vaguely heard of it. Not everyone has extensive knowledge of how these things work.

I’ve seen many times on these threads and in RL how men have bullshotted their way through situations to meet their own ends.

She may be under the impression he is paying in some way is the point I was making. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

@Jessikita she is well aware and the reasons why he has no contact with the children on the advise of social services, yet still allows him to care for hers.

She's made a bad error probably due to being in some sort of honeymoon period and she is besotted by him. That will pass. Aren't social services concerned about her children? I think you would be very wrong to ask for money from her in the circumstances being what they are.
We aren't talking about a long term couple in stable relationship. She won't be around forever if your ex is how you have described him to be.

I have no idea if social services are involved with her kids. Social services arent involved with mine so i dont see them or have any dealings other than the time they were called when the police were called to his house and the kids removed, and the times he reported me in the most disgusting ways. Social services are happy aslong as my kids have zero contact with him, and i would be opening myself up to neglect by knowingly leaving them in his care. If social services are involved then im sure they will raise concerns to her too. Theres no court order over mine tho, just advise on record.

JuicyStrawberry And if the relationship survives and flourishes and - whatever anyone thinks of him financially - he is and remains a competent and reliable dispenser of child care?

In that case, unfair it may be, but OP is going to have to accept it.

*And if the relationship survives and flourishes and - whatever anyone thinks of him financially - he is and remains a competent and reliable dispenser of child care?

In that case, unfair it may be, but OP is going to have to accept it*

But only for the second children right? Any guy who isn’t prepared to provide for his first children is in no way competent and reliable!

But then the system will never change because it benefits men.

JacquesHammer The fact that the ex and the woman concerned do not have to part with money improves the standard of living of them both. It is benefiting a woman and a man.

The fact that the ex and the woman concerned do not have to part with money improves the standard of living of them both. It is benefiting a woman and a man

If you think anything about the maintenance system is geared towards women you’re misguided

And I say that with all the privilege of someone whose ex thinks the system is nonsense and pays his responsibility towards his kid.

No, I don’t think so.

If you entered a relationship with a man who had, say, four DC would you ever want to live with him (however much you loved him) if you knew by law you would be expected to pay towards his child maintenance? No way. It’s just not fair on the person working to earn their own income and a part of it disappearing on someone else’s children.

Your ex is a twat, granted but his DP has nothing to do with this.

YABU I'm afraid. Your kids are not his new partner's financial responsibility.