Friends, newborn

[cookiemonster18]

I have had a difficult relationship with one of my close friends for a couple of months while pregnant and now with my LO who is 2 months old.
This friend has always been high maintenance but lately I’m struggling to deal with her what with sleep deprivation and being a FTM.
I just wanted to gauge thoughts on boundaries, I mentioned something that had upset me (small issue) and then she bought up things that happened months ago. Clearly she’s been harbouring these things waiting for the perfect opportunity.
I’ve felt personally that, that was unfair and actually I have enough on my plate. Especially as one of those issues is that my partner came to my baby shower?
Am I being unreasonable to think it’s not fair for her to bring up these issues?
She said if I’m allowed to be upset then she is too. That’s fair, but can I expect a friend to bite her tounge?

'Hun'

It’s less common now, but growing up, my mum’s friends and and little friends’ parents were commonly addressed as Auntie/Uncle First name. It wasn’t a presumption of closeness or importance, it’s just a common form of address between Mr/Mrs Last name and First name (unheard of) in terms of formality.
I might refer to myself as “Auntie Drizzle” when engaging with a colleague or friend’s baby, I’m not presuming closeness, just mirroring this form of address from my own childhood. I think it’s common in some Indian cultures too to use Auntie/Uncle for friendly adults. Your friend may not invest it with the significance you do.

I could be wrong but I feel like perhaps her friend organised the baby shower and that's why she was annoyed by the DH attending?

I've never been to a baby shower where the baby's father wasn't present. For some or all of it. I personally don't see the problem. It's the father's child too. I think it's lovely that they want to be involved.

Re baby shower - did the organisers know the OP's partner was going to go?

wow, 106 messages!
To clarify my points.

1. My friend was especially excited for the birth of my son, always referring to herself as his auntie, so I felt a bit hurt when she decided to park up at my house on the phone and suggest she wouldn't come up to see him - maybe yes that's over sensitive, maybe not. I appreciate your points that she may not be "into" babies however she was very, genuinely excited that I was pregnant so this shocked me.

1. I am not saying that because I have a baby that people can't be mad at me, I am saying that my partner coming to the baby shower was something that was voiced AFTER the baby shower and therefore bringing it up again seemed unfair - that's all.

1. Some peoples ideas of a baby shower is so off!! We ate some food, played some games, ate some cake! I'm the first of my friends to have a baby and NO there were no talk of kegels and episiotomies :|

1. One of my friends other issues was the fact that she couldn't visit straight away after birth, I was still in hospital - baby was in special care, again I felt this issue was unfair to bring up.

1. I suppose I still don't get why men can't come to baby showers, after all, if it was me organising for a friend I'd do what made them - but that's just me! It's 2018! Re point about stag do's there's now HAGS ! (Hen's and stags) not my thing but still, shows how much we've moved on! Anyway, what is gender?! lol

Thanks for all your thoughts