Would you give up having children to own a house?

[thinking3333]

Would you buy a house knowing the mortgage payments would probably mean you could never afford to have a child?

If you really want children and the house, you could look at:

• Taking in a lodger (assume it’s a 2 bed house - baby in with you). Better yet take in lodger now and build up cushion of savings.
• Take a short ML.
• Work alternating working patterns so you don’t spend much on childcare.
• scrimp and save to build up savings to use in the high child cost years.
• go into debt for the high child cost period.

Why would a 2bed flat be a joke? It will be cheaper than a whole house. Leaving some money for childcare. At the same time it will probably increase in value and give fair equity if and when their family then outgrows it.

Also, salaries don’t same forever. The mortgage that you struggle to pay now you might not struggle to pay in 5 years time, giving you a childcare slush fund.

A two bed flat isn't a joke. "Just buy a cheap 1 or 2 bed flat" is a joke. Try buying a cheap flat in London for a start. You said it as if it's just something easy to do and I'm sure if it was a option the op would have thought of it.

I agree with nap - does it have to be a house OP? Why?

A flat would surely be much cheaper and would give you some leeway financially. Where I live (south coast/not London) a standard 3 bed semi would cost £500k and a standard 2 bed flat would cost £300k so that's a big difference.

Op why do you feel you can't do both? If I absolutely had to choose I'd take kids any day. But they do grow up. They go to school. Childcare is only an issue for a set amount of time.
I've just had a baby. I don't go out for meals anymore. Don't get my hair done, don't buy new outfits except primark. I didn't upgrade my phone this year as I would have before. I just adjusted. I'm considering trying to find a job that I can do from home.

There are ways to get around things. It's not easy, but doable. Some mortgages even allow you to go interest only for a period of time.
Could you buy a less expensive house?

Sorry I should have said cheaper as in cheaper than a house.

We've moved to cheaper areas - and found jobs we like in those areas and I spent my 20 saving very hard to put together a deposit - so we haven't had to make that choice.

We've made other compromises - though we've ended up with what we wanted just not in ways we expected.

If you definitely don't want children in foreseeable years - say 5 then possibly though would be wary about over extending with uncertainty of britex.

So you'd sacrifice a family in order to afford a family home? Why not just buy a cheaper flat if it's just going to be the 2 of you and have spare money to do fun things?

Seems odd to buy a family house when you know it won't be suitable for the lifestyle you'll live, and will cost so much you can't afford to do lots of fun stuff.

Hire old are you OP? If you're 23 then you can have the house, wages will likely increase, save up etc and have babies in your 30's. If you're 33 then you need to decide if you're happy having a life without children?

But Shakespeare if your mortgage is so high you can't possibly afford it on less than 2 full time salaries what if one of you gets I'll? Loses their job?

If you had children would you be eligible for help with childcare / get tax credits, child benefit etc?

I wouldn't have done this because having children was my priority.
Everyone is different tho so I think you need to work out what your priorities are. Also how old are you? I think this is relevant as your priorities may change the older you get

No

No. I've got four children and don't own a house. Even without children I would never be in a position to own a house.
We rent and are comfortable and have the family we've always wanted.

Yes, definitely.

The kids aren't taking the news well though.

No.

Unless you’re very rich, everyone finds it difficult to pay for childcare on top of bills etc, you’re not in a unique position, plenty of other people manage to do both

barbra

Yes.

Not wanting the financial burden is one of the reasons I didn't want kids.

Yes. My personal approach was to work incredibly hard to get a house and be financially ok - as much as you can be. I was surprised that I managed this by 35 and therefore still was able to have kids.

Childcare is expensive and all but obliterated my income when I had two that needed childcare but I continued to work because the extremely small amount that was left over was needed to feed and clothe us and I wanted to keep my foot in, part time for a while. We still rent, 3 children and 12 years later. It means for us that in out late 30s/early 40s we have to knuckle down to ensure we have enough for later life/the DC later.

@ArtBrut childcare is very expensive so working full time wouldn't really be an option, and going part time would obviously = less money

We both work and have a small child, and no family in this country to help with childcare, so we are all too well aware of the cost of childcare. We moved out of London and got jobs in a place with cheaper housing. It wasn't easy, as we are both in fairly niche fields, but we couldn't have had a growing child in our tiny London flat.

I would. Owning a house gives you some security as you move through life. Having a child just costs money...and without the security of owning my own home first, I'd be pretty reluctant to bring another person into the world. So yes, I will always prioritise security over children. But I'm not very maternal so children will always be low on my list of life priorities.

Op it's more based on what means more to you.. For example I would choose the house as I don't want a baby.

You’re being very vague OP.

A number of people have asked what age you are, what your outgoings are, if you actually want children and you’ve ignored them all. As your last post was a link to an article this is starting to seem more like a research piece now.

I think it’s a bit of a self pitying post... around how tough it is for millennials to get on the housing ladder and have children. I am a millennial (apparently) before I get shot down! It’s just how it reads to me. No discussion about how it could be possible to do both by changing things around a bit.

Op it really depends on your age, if you are late 30s/40 then prioritising a child is essential.

If you are twentysomething and have time, then undoubtedly buy a home.

Rents always go up...mortgage payments don't and can be fixed.

You are at the mercy of being given notice and having to move incurring costs each time.

if you buy now, in 5 years you will have the same mortgage outgoing( or lower once possible equity is built up) and security of not having to move.
Option to rent out and keep home if jobs force move.

Home paid for by retirement so security when you are old.

If however you rent now, in 5 years it is likely your rent will have gone up, possibly you will have had to move a few times.There will be no chance of equity, no security.Retiring will be tougher.

Lastly it is MUCH easier and do extra evening jobs/weekend jobs to add income younger rather than older.

Your age is the deciding factor.