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Original poster

Would you give up having children to own a house?

113 replies

thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:14

Would you buy a house knowing the mortgage payments would probably mean you could never afford to have a child?

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 26/05/2018 10:04

No. I think you would have a lifetime of regret if you wanted a child but chose a house instead.

lifechangesforever · 26/05/2018 10:08

No but had you have asked me when we bought our house if we could afford the mortgage and nursery fees, I would tell you no way. I'm now 33 weeks pregnant and yes it's going to be a struggle but it absolutely can be done. I don't think it's as black and white as you're making out.

Mortgage payments are normally a lot lower than renting - rent for my house would be about £200 a month more than what we pay on the mortgage.

Slartybartfast · 26/05/2018 10:14

I think you are asking at the wrong website op

Slartybartfast · 26/05/2018 10:19

who are you doing research for anyway op?

Original poster
thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 10:20

No one @Slartybartfast , I'm just about to buy a house and know we couldn't afford to lose any income or pay for childcare if we have a child.

OP posts:
AllMYSmellySocks · 26/05/2018 10:21

No way. Unless I didn't want children anyway.

Topseyt · 26/05/2018 10:23

If you want a child then try for one. If I'd waited until we could easily afford to have children I would still be waiting, and I am now in my fifties so they would never have been born. I know I am not alone in that.

No, I wouldn't have sacrificed having children for a house. It is possible to do both. I would buy the house first, try for a baby and then work out childcare. It doesn't have to be a nursery, it could be a childminder, which can be a bit cheaper. It depends on what suits best.

That's how I did it. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't easy and I was a SAHM for a few years too due to childcare costs once we had two (and then three) children. I work again now, and we kept our house, often with nothing to spare every month, but we did it and are glad we did.

Slartybartfast · 26/05/2018 10:23

You need to leave yourself some room them I think op. Dont overstretch yourselves

Wuss2018 · 26/05/2018 10:24

Well when we brought a house we never really planned that we were going to have children - we were only 25 and it wasn't on our radar. But then we had kids and we just coped with the costs as you would too. If everyone worried about the cost of this and that all
The time then no one would do anything. It's a bit like saying we won't buy a house as one of us may loose our job in the future.

TheScandinavianWoman · 26/05/2018 10:27

It really is a strange question OP. Maybe you don't want children badly enough since you're asking this question?

HeddaGarbled · 26/05/2018 10:29

I wouldn't take out a mortgage that's at the top of what you can manage financially right now. No one knows what's going to happen to house prices and mortgage interest rates in the next few years. Too risky. Be careful.

Original poster
thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 10:29

Actually I think it's a dilemma many millennials will face. Houses are so expensive it's just not possible to pay for them on one income in many areas, and childcare is extortionate. We can't rely on parents to help out either.

OP posts:
Tobuyornot99 · 26/05/2018 10:30

It wouldn't even enter my head to not have a child so I could own some bricks and mortar.
However, you need to work your figures - lots of people have to adjust their working lives to accommodate childcare, e.g. one work evenings or weekends. We currently pay £400 a month for childcare which is a third of what some friends pay, as I've adjusted my work life to fit around dc.
I don't think it has to be an either / or situation.

OP posts:
annandale · 26/05/2018 10:35

No, never. I would have moved area, country, anything to try and have both, but ultimately I would always have chosen children (well, one child) over practically anything else.

AreWeDoingThisNow · 26/05/2018 10:48

Where I am mortgage payments are cheaper than rent on an equivalent property assuming a decent credit rating, so it wouldn't make any difference.

Remember that your incomes will likely go up while mortgage payments tend to go down each time you renegotiate, so you will likely have more disposable income in the future.

We saved a bit to cover mat leave and DHs salary has increased to the point we only need mine to cover childcare and extras.

And childcare costs go down rapidly after the first 3 years - 15 hours free nursery and then school. So you only have three years of really expensive childcare.

If I were in a situation where there was no money left over for fun / savings after paying the mortgage and the basic food bill I'd reconsider the house, but tbh no lender would have considered lending us a mortgage that would use that much of our income anyway.

NapQueen · 26/05/2018 10:50

Just buy a cheap 1bed/2bed starter flat.

Badoukas · 26/05/2018 10:52

No but we have always had a house, smaller than we might have done and affordable on one income. This was down south. Then when we knew we never had much chance of having anything better we moved 300 miles up north when the right job offer came up.

waterlego6064 · 26/05/2018 10:53

This is an odd question, because most people seem to either definitely want children, or definitely not. I’ve not met many people who aren’t sure. I was always sure I wanted to have children; luckily so was my OH, so having children together was our main focus after we got married. We were lucky enough to have our own property but then, but a two-bed flat rather than a house but it was perfectly adequate for our needs at the time.

KennDodd · 26/05/2018 10:57

Just buy a cheap 1bed/2bed starter flat.

Is this a joke?

How old are you op? Is a question of 'now or never' for the baby? If it's not then you could buy the house and revisit the baby question a few years down the line.

epicclusterfuck · 26/05/2018 11:00

I'm not sure about that article, it seems a little bit whiney about not being able to have it all! The writer describing how she is a freelancer so can't get mortgage but that is a choice, another woman similarly having done internships, various jobs and left her job to retrain on a vocational course. Well if you don't have a stable job/career then no it isn't the best time to have children or buy a house. It is also having another go at baby boomers which has been done to death.

To get what you want you have to make choices that take you there, so take the steady job, buy the cheaper house in the not so great area. I graduated into a recession too and yes had to move away from where I grew up to get any job and then couldn't afford to buy where I worked so looked further out. We also did not take the maximum they would lend so that if children came along we could afford it on one income. I think house prices have risen crazily so that aspect is definitely harder now but still possible if people are willing to compromise on location and yes including moving areas for work.

Zoflorabore · 26/05/2018 11:02

Not a chance.

There is more to life than being a home owner and the bank own it until you've paid it off fully anyway

Not everyone aspires to home ownership.

SandyY2K · 26/05/2018 11:04

Definitely not.

Slartybartfast · 26/05/2018 11:05

Yup, we took advice from the bank and one said There is more to life than bricks and mortar.
which stuck with me.
We never did buy as I got cold feet and worried about dh losing his job/injuring his back

Lottapianos · 26/05/2018 11:06

'I’ve not met many people who aren’t sure. '

There are LOADS of us, but we tend to keep it to ourselves as it's not necessarily something you want to share.

It's a totally personal decision OP, and absolutely nothing wrong with deciding that home ownership is more of a priority for you than children

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