Would you give up having children to own a house?

[thinking3333]

Would you buy a house knowing the mortgage payments would probably mean you could never afford to have a child?

[VladmirsPoutine]

Depends on if you want children at all? The house is rather moot.

[hammeringinmyhead]

I don't think it's advisable (Brexit, economic uncertainty etc) to take on any mortgage that you couldn't pay if one of you lost your job and took a couple of months to find another one. We moved to a cheaper town and bought a house, then waited a few years before TTC. So it depends on your age and timescales!

[Tomselleckhaskindeyes]

ansimpasty you summed it up perfectly.

[ProjectInsanity]

Will they let you take out a mortgage based on both incomes? When we tried to get a mortgage, they would only take DH's income and said to use mine for amortisation. How much of a percentage of your combined income will be going on the mortgage?

[coffeebreak38572]

We purposely bought a cheaper house for this reason. We could have easily borrowed double the mortgage when we were both full time. Now I am part time and have DD and I know this was the right decision. We do hope to move one day once we no longer have to pay for childcare and I can up my hours.

[Madonnasmum]

Yes I was going to say the same thing, childcare is not forever nor is one person having to stay home. We were skint paying out childcare but it starts to reduce after 3 and disappears after 5. But we do have family doing pick ups.
Can you get a cheaper house?
Buying a house is important as the idea is by the time you retire you are mortgage free. If you rent you need to rent forever.

[SoyDora]

No I wouldn’t. We didn’t buy a house until after we had children.
However, you only pay childcare for a few years. You can mitigate it by savings as much as possible in advance. Have either of you any scope to increase your earnings in the future? Could you buy a smaller house?

[Violetshift]

As po said some people don’t have that emotional desire for children. I know plenty of couples who haven’t.

I have a dd who is ten. In a way I have given up having more for a house. But having one maybe fed that desire. I could not afford to quit work now if we were to have another with my new partner. So yes it can happen.

[PodgeBod]

Mortgages tend to be cheaper then renting, don't they?
I wouldn't give up having kids for a house. I rent with kids and it's not ideal but I'm happy with my choices.

[mayhew]

We managed with a lodger.

[cadburyegg]

Can you buy a smaller house?

[HeyDolly]

Depends on if you want children at all? The house is rather moot.

This ^. Do you actually want a child OP?

[AntiHop]

Can you buy a flat for now then move when the expensive child care years are over. You can manage in a one bed with a young child. She's 3 and shares our room. We're just about to buy a house where she'll have her own room.

[Mrsmadevans]

Yes

[Moreisnnogedag]

how big a mortgage are you planning on getting? If things will really be that down to the wire maybe you should look at getting a smaller mortgage, regardless of whether you have children.

TBH I get the impression you are rather ambivalent about children anyway. Never in a million years would I consider a house over children but the fact that you do says something. It's not bad not to want children and if you'd be happier with the right house / lifestyle rather than kids then choose that.

[chocatoo]

I would rather live in a tent and have children.

[happypoobum]

No. Absolutely not.

Can you buy a smaller property/flat so you can afford to have DC? Don't forget that working for example, 50% of full time results in more than 50% net pay due to tax calculations.

Do you have parents who could/would help with childcare?

TBH it doesn't really matter what I think - what do YOU want to do?

[Onlyoldontheoutside]

You don't say how old you are as that is a factor.I would get a house first then child in a few years.I used a child minder for my DD as I didn't have a job that fit with nursery times.
Lots of mums go back to work ,very doable.
The problem with renting is that your not secure,monthly payments are often higher and it is harder to save for a house when you have a child than the other way around.

[borlottibeans]

I'm putting off children to buy a house first, because I'm the main earner and a baby will affect affordability. But we'll start trying once we've got the mortgage, and although it's likely I wouldn't be able to take much maternity leave we'll make it work.

Are you renting at the moment? It's usual for mortgage payments to be cheaper than private rent unless you've got a fantastic bargain. (And if I had a really good deal I'd stay renting a bit longer and save for a bigger deposit.)

[jellycat1]

Honestly if you would ask such a question, it sounds as though you're ambivalent about having children anyway. But only you can decide whether owning a house would make you happier than having your own family.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

It sounds like you want the house more, so go with that.

If you get to the point you really want children you can sell up/find out whether tax credits would cover childcare.

[gamerwidow]

No i wouldn’t prioritise a house over a child if I really wanted a child.
When we bought we deliberately chose a house where we could afford the repayments even if we lost a salary. It meant we had our DD we could afford for me to go part time without crippling us. We couldn’t afford a second child though.
It’s not an easy choice for most though because even small houses are eye wateringly expensive and make affording children difficult.
In some ways you’re better off renting because at least you might get HB if your income falls due to starting a family.
It’s so hard for young peopld starting out now and you have my sympathies for the hard choices you have to make.

[Chickychoccyegg]

Most people can manage to have both (if they really want both) money may be tight for a while, but worth it .
If it was one or the other I personally would never prioritise owning a house over having children, seems a very strange choice to me!

[CaveMaman]

I didn't. I have a lovely ds but no hope of ever buying a house (unless I'm "lucky" enough to inherit). I think I'm richer for having my ds, but everybody's different. Do what you think will make you happiest.

[MsGameandWatching]

Honestly if you would ask such a question, it sounds as though you're ambivalent about having children anyway.

I don't really agree with this. No one really knows or gets how having a child will be till they have one. Most people are unsure and struggle with making the decision and agonise over when is the right time/will they be suitable parents/do they really want children anyway? It's something you can never really understand until you have a child.