To still be disappointed in my wedding?

[MartagonLilies]

It was a few years ago now. It took me about 5months to even look at the photos.
My dress wasn't one that really suited me (although totally grateful for it, it was given to me)
We were forgotten about for an hour (left at church, waiting for our ride to come back for us to take us to reception)
There are a lot more things. Basically the whole event was a disaster.
I feel disappointed and I don't know why it's still bothering me so much, 5 years on.
I want to go back and do it again, our way. I wish I'd had it in a completely different, more chilled out way. I should have had a simple ceremony, in a registry office, wearing a dress of my choosing(probably a non wedding one) and then all disappeared to a lovely local restaurant.
We didn't even have a honeymoon

I know I can't do anything about it which is maybe making it worse?! I know this is a completely self indulgent 1st world problem.

The problem is that the whole thing is a logistical nightmare, and so many things can go wrong at weddings - and everyone wants their weddings to be perfect down to the last detail. Not least because they've often spent 10 grand plus on it.

I've been to 30 or 40 weddings in my life, and at least half have ended up with the bride or groom having a minor meltdown about some aspect of the wedding - the last one was the wedding band turning up with a vocalist different to the one they had booked, which caused the bride to storm off and spend 2 hours having a freddy fit. I think you are in an emotional state at the time that is unable to filter out what is important and what isn't.

Mine was wonderful, nothing went wrong, BUT i was an anxious mess all day and never really got into it.

Mine was the same and I'm a hige extrovert. When I was walking down the aisle I felt completely out of body and then it all just went so quickly, and I was so tied up in ensuring that everyone was having a good time/ people who didnt know many people weren't on their own etc that I didnt really relax and enjoy it. My dad made a lovely speech and I barely remember it as I was stressing about if the fireworks would be good.

Because of family politics I wanted to go abroad and do it with close family but at the first mention it was shut down. The wedding was OK but there were a few strained relationships on the day which spoilt it a bit.

Afterwards my family moaned that it would have been better to just go on holiday and do it

Our wedding day was dreadful from start to finish. Nothing went right, literally every aspect went wrong in one way or another.

I am actually at this very moment looking at venues to host a 10th wedding anniversary party.

middle aged second marriage, 4 kids, 2 mortgages, just going to Gretna Green quiet do, the 6 of us,booked Register Office, was going to cost quite a bit for train up and overnight stay. MIL went into one at not being invited, cancelled booked 3 different Reigster offices, nearer, she is telling various far away relatives who all expected invites, also booked receptions, obviously lost the money, each time, too long winded and boring to go into saga, also requested no children, register office very small, and they ruined last wedding. MIL insisted they come, got the the stage by then, said to DH if his M said one more word, the wedding was off, he laughed I actually meant it!Ended up having Honeymoon BEFORE wedding, couldnt afford to cancel and loose money, because of said children, didnt even get to sit next to my DH at the top table, ended up sitting on the very last table, DH asked for children to move so I could sit next to him, they refused and parent didnt intervene,. Everyone scared of bullying MIL, yes, we are actully happily married almost 30 years!

OP We renewed our vows at 10 years, as a surprise from my husband who invited all my family and friends. I had no idea. Our first, like yours, was nothing in the way of what I wanted. I wasn’t down about it. It was just one of those things. But honestly, it was so so lovely that he organised our renewal ceremony. He now expects me to do it for our 20th next year!!!

My first wedding was a disaster. I had a miscarriage, and then tried to clamber into a bed full of rice.

Oh, I forgot, relatives with all singing dancing fancy cameras and video, rang a couple of days after wedding to casually say both batteries were flat, no pics, I cried my eyes out, (maybe karma was telling me I shouldnt bother to remember the day!!!) We went to a proff photgrapher, highly recomended who had won lots of awards, all dressed in our wedding finery, walking thru town from the car park, lots of odd looks, cost a fortune, I hated every single phot, he said everyone always hates pictures of themselves!

We had a friend with a video camera ( 80s) and dh’s uncle stood in front of it the whole time do you couldn’t see the guests coming in - the video was cheap and nasty. photographer was crappy. I had a dress from the same rail.
We were so poor at the time it was all ‘done on the cheap’ thinking about it.
A lot of people started going abroad for weddings back then - can’t blame them.

Sale rail rather

My SIL told me I looked like a “big unit” in my dress and I overheard her say to someone that I looked like a mechanic in drag.

I am tall, stocky and chubby whereas she’s got a completely stunning figure but seriously, it was so mean and made me feel shit.

So, yeah, pretty disappointing

STBexPostdoc what a mean and nasty thing to say to someone. Your SIL is obvously very unhappy herself and i hope you can forget about that comment xx

Johnnycomelately1 very strange isn't it? i wonder if our serotonin just ran out?!

@KaliforniaDreamz Unfortunately, I haven't forgotten about the comment. It was 12 years ago and it still hurts. Whenever I get sressed up for an occasion now her comments always come to mind