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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get irritated when somebody is always complaining of feeling unwell

34 replies

Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:26

Person in question always either has joint pain, cold symptoms, headaches, dizziness.
Anybody else find it a bit draining or am I a unfeeling bitch.

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Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:27

Don't get me wrong I haven't shown my dismay I have tried to look after them handing painkillers etc

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Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:27

Been to docs etc

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TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/05/2018 08:28

Sounds like fibromyalgia.

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:29

They are also also grunting and growling like a zoo animal. Grin

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Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:29

But isn't that hips

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Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:30

Docs told them be more active. Hmm

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PeonyTruffle · 25/05/2018 08:31

Agree with Testing
My husband has it and it's horrible

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:31

Not sure if at the moment it's man flu or not

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NC4Now · 25/05/2018 08:31

I don’t know. It’s draining feeling poorly all the time but it’s also annoying if someone is generally a whinger.
I suppose if it depends whether they have a condition which wears them out or if they just like to moan.

justanotheruser18 · 25/05/2018 08:32

I feel you. It sucks that they are suffering but sometimes I just don't wanna hear about them and their sickliness. Do they also often sport a visible injury support band?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:32

I am handing all kinds of nose sprays, antihistamines, painkillers etc

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NC4Now · 25/05/2018 08:33

Doctors don’t always pick things up straight away. I have EDS and if I don’t take proper care of myself I get run down quickly.

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:34

I really don't know but they have been a bit like this all the time I have known them.
I am really trying my best but it sort of feels like the relationship suffers.

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NC4Now · 25/05/2018 08:34

They shouldn’t be relying on you to look after them. Don’t they have their own painkillers, antihistamines etc?

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:35

He has had his fair share of supports on but he isn't consistent with them

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Plantlover · 25/05/2018 08:35

Nc4

What's eds? Elos danos?

Nikephorus · 25/05/2018 08:36

It depends. If they have a condition that produces lots of symptoms then it's still okay to get irritated but keep in mind they can't help it. If they're like my dad who instantly has the same symptoms as anyone else and who will whinge about various body parts without reason repeatedly then not only can you feel irritated but it's actually acceptable to withhold sympathy & to mock him in the hope he'll save his whines for when something really is a problem (he doesn't but we do provide sympathy when it's justified)

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:38

How I know it's justified though. What is eds

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LakieLady · 25/05/2018 08:39

Almost, Plantlover - Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

Bloody awful illness, my niece has it really badly.

Rainydaydog · 25/05/2018 08:39

I understand it must be frustrating but if they are really suffering those symptoms all the time it must be very difficult for them. Think how you would feel if you had these problems all the time and the only help from the doctor was to tell you to be more active.
That's not to say you are wrong to find it hard to cope with their condition but it doesn't mean they should just stop complaining either.
If this person is important to you you have to have an honest conversation about you needing a bit of space from the negative impact on you. Then you are going to have to rely on friends for support and to get out and do something fun.
If they aren't that important then just avoid and ignore as much as possible.

BlueJava · 25/05/2018 08:41

Lucky6266 I personally wouldn't be handing out painkillers and anti-histamines etc. If the complaints are genuine and have gone on for a while it sounds like they should see a doctor. If not long term then they should talk to a pharmacist and get their own meds.

wowbutter · 25/05/2018 08:46

Are you married to me?
I have fibromyalgia, and hyper mobile joints, and I'm also prone to viruses as my immune system is fucked. I'm sorry if you are my spouse and secretly hate me.
People with chronic illnesses aren't trying to be annoying, it's exhausting feeling shit all the time.
But, saying that, self care goes a long way. Being as active as possible, being positive, engaging with talking therapies as well as medicines. Is this person doing that?

BlueBug45 · 25/05/2018 08:51

If the person keeps complaining then tell them to get a second opinion from another doctor or even a nurse practitioner - the latter like testing people apparently.

Oh and some a simple deficiencies like iron and vitamin D cause problems you are describing, particularly when they get more severe. My male friends' struggled to get diagnosed with the latter.

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:53

Yes they have a very physical job working 6 days long hours out of the house.
I keep asking them to go to 5 days because they always feel tired as well but I guess they are stuck because the job requires 6 really. What I do I don't know.

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Original poster
Lucky6266 · 25/05/2018 08:54

I also work and have health concerns and I suffer from depression and I'm trying my best with them.

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